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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

dude99

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i met this girl last year. She works for a relative of mine and i instantly thought she was cute. Talked a little bit but nothing to serious. I didn´t think much of it. About six months later i see her again at the Birthday Party of mentioned relative and we talk again. She tells me she moved to another city but was thinking about moving back (i now realise that this could be because of an ex) . Gave her my Number and told her she should give e a call, so we can hangout when she´s back.

A few later she texts me and we go out for dinner. I brought flowers (I know Beta Move). Had a great time, although she seemed shy at the beginning. Had a second and third date. Then our city went into Lockdown. Couldn´t do much, talked a lot on the Phone. I suggested we should meet at her place and watch a movie. She agreed. That night we had sex. The next few months we talked almost everyday, met up, she cooked for me, had sex. She constantly told e how happy she is when i am with her. Things were great.

Then she started to become cold, didn´t respond for hours and kept having excuses about meeting up. I kept asking a week or so later (which i shouldn´t have done, I know). i then confronted her and asked "what are we". I now cringe just thinking about it. Of course she answered with a "I think we should just be friends". After that i asked if we could meet up and talk about it.

So two days later we met for coffee, i told her i feel as if i like her more than she likes me. And that i was looking for something serious (i now know that i was pressuring myself to getting a Girlfriend. I´m not that good with girls. They all leave me or friendzone me). Scarcity Mindset i guess.
She seemed surprised as i told her if she just sees me as a friend, and that we should stop seeing each other as i am not interested in friendship. We hugged one last time and i left.

For two months we havent had any contact but then i saw her as i was visiting my relative for a business oppurtunity we wanted to discuss. i greeted her politely and that was it. I´m not gonna lie that **** was hard. During the two months of No Contact i was making great progress, worked out, ate better lost 15 pounds. But then i got weak.

I BROKE NO CONTACT. i messaged her and asked if she would like to meet for coffee. She answered that she would like that, but would message me when she has time. Its been three days. I feel ****ing weak and im dissapointed in myself. I gave her control over the situation. Even as i´m writing this i am contemplating just blowing her off when she sends me a message.

Did a lot of research during no contact mostly red pill content, Rational male, Corey wayne. But still couldn´t kill the Beta deeply rooted in me.

I´m done waiting on this Girl and i´m ready to not here from her again. My question now is, should i just ignore her message or meet up with her and tell her that i thought i wanted her back but now realised (after waiting 3+ days fo a text back) that i am over her. Would ignoring her message be another Beta move?
Move on. Her actions have told you she has very little interest in you. We have all been there so don't beat your self up (too badly,) move on and go date other women.

When they go cold they are getting attention from a new guy. It is just as plain as that.

I wouldn't count on her reaching out, since you reached out she thinks she has you right where she wants you, as an orbiter. Don't give her the ego boost by trying again. Let this go.

Should she reach out, and want to plan a sit down for coffee it will only boost her ego and crush yours. What ever time she proposes to you (if she does,) always answer closed. "Sorry i have plans that day/night/afternoon," do not counter offer.

Make her put in 100% of the effort. Move on and date other women.
 

OG64

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Move on. Her actions have told you she has very little interest in you. We have all been there so don't beat your self up (too badly,) move on and go date other women.

When they go cold they are getting attention from a new guy. It is just as plain as that.

I wouldn't count on her reaching out, since you reached out she thinks she has you right where she wants you, as an orbiter. Don't give her the ego boost by trying again. Let this go.

Should she reach out, and want to plan a sit down for coffee it will only boost her ego and crush yours. What ever time she proposes to you (if she does,) always answer closed. "Sorry i have plans that day/night/afternoon," do not counter offer.

Make her put in 100% of the effort. Move on and date other women.
Thank for the advice man. I really appreciate it. It´s been one week and no reply. This ship has sailed and i find myself not caring anymore. She was a nice piece of ass, but oh well. Gyms are reopening in my city which is great news. I am currently applying for a new job and have had 2 Interviews already. Things are going in the right direction.

If she contacts me down the line (i doubt it) I´ll tell her i´m open for sex and nothing else. If she agrees cool, if not i haven´t lost anything.
 

OG64

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Move on. Her actions have told you she has very little interest in you. We have all been there so don't beat your self up (too badly,) move on and go date other women.

When they go cold they are getting attention from a new guy. It is just as plain as that.

I wouldn't count on her reaching out, since you reached out she thinks she has you right where she wants you, as an orbiter. Don't give her the ego boost by trying again. Let this go.

Should she reach out, and want to plan a sit down for coffee it will only boost her ego and crush yours. What ever time she proposes to you (if she does,) always answer closed. "Sorry i have plans that day/night/afternoon," do not counter offer.

Make her put in 100% of the effort. Move on and date other women.
Low and behold , yesterday she reached out after almost two weeks and told me she has time today. I am now realizing how little respect she has for my time. She probably thought i jump up and clear my schedule for her but HELL NO. I told her i already got plans (no counter offer no reschedule). I am not just saying that, i really am Busy. Weather is getting warmer, skirts are getting shorter. My priorities at the moment are job, gym and spending time with friends. Last year robbed me of all three of these and i think that´s the reason i acted so pathetic. I´m finally over her guys. I felt nothing when she answered me. 2 months ago i would have left everything to meet her. NO CONTACT WORKS. I know it soundc cliché but Trust the process.
 

dude99

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Low and behold , yesterday she reached out after almost two weeks and told me she has time today. I am now realizing how little respect she has for my time. She probably thought i jump up and clear my schedule for her but HELL NO. I told her i already got plans (no counter offer no reschedule). I am not just saying that, i really am Busy. Weather is getting warmer, skirts are getting shorter. My priorities at the moment are job, gym and spending time with friends. Last year robbed me of all three of these and i think that´s the reason i acted so pathetic. I´m finally over her guys. I felt nothing when she answered me. 2 months ago i would have left everything to meet her. NO CONTACT WORKS. I know it soundc cliché but Trust the process.

The fact that she reached out after 2 weeks tells you everything you need to know. You are not a priority to her and, i'm glad you handled it as you did. She isn't a priority to you either.

No, to her offer. No counter offer. No reaching out. No texting. No social media no phone call nothing. She got what she deserved. Nothing.

Like you said she contacts you after 2 weeks and does't attempt to make plans, she expects you to drop your plans and see her. Nope.

Nice job. You handled this perfectly.
 

Goldrex

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Well, I am back. After a couple more months of trying to make it work and being on and off, I think we’re split permanently. It’s Day 9 which is the furthest I’ve ever gotten. Usually one of us yields at this point but that looks unlikely. She changed her Facebook status from nothing to single, and switched it to public. She’s also on Tinder. We were together for like 8 months, more on and off towards the end, went through an engagement, and two pregnancies, both ended in miscarriage. Time hasn’t really helped. The first week was okay, but the second week is killing me. I can’t sleep a full night anymore, I’ve had a couple like debilitating anxiety attacks, and I know that sounds pathetic but I don’t know what to do. Adding to my stress, she was 7 days late on her period when we stopped talking. I’m still at that point where I really hope she’ll reach out but I know it won’t happen.
 

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Foe

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I’m still at that point where I really hope she’ll reach out but I know it won’t happen.
Yeah me too dude. Your mind plays tricks on you, every text, phone call you jump to see if its her etc. I had the off and on thing too and I think it kind of conditions you to the idea that it be back on again soon and so you pathetically wait for that outcome. I'm ready to redpill now, I blocked mine and Im looking to spin plates to try and remove this "oneitis" and get some control of myself.
 

dude99

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Well, I am back. After a couple more months of trying to make it work and being on and off, I think we’re split permanently. It’s Day 9 which is the furthest I’ve ever gotten. Usually one of us yields at this point but that looks unlikely. She changed her Facebook status from nothing to single, and switched it to public. She’s also on Tinder. We were together for like 8 months, more on and off towards the end, went through an engagement, and two pregnancies, both ended in miscarriage. Time hasn’t really helped. The first week was okay, but the second week is killing me. I can’t sleep a full night anymore, I’ve had a couple like debilitating anxiety attacks, and I know that sounds pathetic but I don’t know what to do. Adding to my stress, she was 7 days late on her period when we stopped talking. I’m still at that point where I really hope she’ll reach out but I know it won’t happen.
Welcome back. Hold your head high. It will get better

Ask yourself this. Did it not get old/discourging/annoying being on off on off on off?
Did you ever ask yourself, why am i putting up with this behaviour?

She is living in the moment and enjoying the emotional roller coaster of emotions and that gives her all kinds of feels and entertainment. Women love that garbage

What are you getting other than sleepless nights, frustration and annoyance and anxiety.

Time to focus on you. Stop letting her take up place in your head.

I found the easiest way to move on is giving then ONLY one chance. If they blow that one chance they are out for good.

Start putting you first. She is now history.
 

Goldrex

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Welcome back. Hold your head high. It will get better

Ask yourself this. Did it not get old/discourging/annoying being on off on off on off?
Did you ever ask yourself, why am i putting up with this behaviour?

She is living in the moment and enjoying the emotional roller coaster of emotions and that gives her all kinds of feels and entertainment. Women love that garbage

What are you getting other than sleepless nights, frustration and annoyance and anxiety.

Time to focus on you. Stop letting her take up place in your head.

I found the easiest way to move on is giving then ONLY one chance. If they blow that one chance they are out for good.

Start putting you first. She is now history.
The back and forth sucked but I felt like I had invested in her too much to just leave, obviously she didn’t feel the same way.

I started going to the gym again to rebuild myself, when we were together she didn’t like me going to the gym because she thought I’d leave her if I started getting in better shape.

I messed up on the one chance thing, that probably would’ve made this easier because it would’ve ended a lot sooner. I read Rollo’s chapter on war brides, I guess it’s normal for women to just move on sooner. It still sucks. I started sleeping a bit more, and the anxiety is not stopping me anymore but it’s still kind of there. I know I still have a long way to go so hopefully it starts to get easier.
 

Barrister

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The back and forth sucked but I felt like I had invested in her too much to just leave, obviously she didn’t feel the same way.

I started going to the gym again to rebuild myself, when we were together she didn’t like me going to the gym because she thought I’d leave her if I started getting in better shape.

I messed up on the one chance thing, that probably would’ve made this easier because it would’ve ended a lot sooner. I read Rollo’s chapter on war brides, I guess it’s normal for women to just move on sooner. It still sucks. I started sleeping a bit more, and the anxiety is not stopping me anymore but it’s still kind of there. I know I still have a long way to go so hopefully it starts to get easier.
This is a hard thing to stomach as a man. You want a return on your investment. The problem is there is a hole in the bottom of your bucket. Continuing to pour water (time) into that same bucket based upon how much you already poured and wasted isn’t going to make it start to hold water. Better to just get a new bucket.

And for the record - I have made this very mistake in multiple past LTRs. Would have been better off cutting ties as soon as it was clear it wasn’t going to work.
 

dude99

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This is a hard thing to stomach as a man. You want a return on your investment. The problem is there is a hole in the bottom of your bucket. Continuing to pour water (time) into that same bucket based upon how much you already poured and wasted isn’t going to make it start to hold water. Better to just get a new bucket.

And for the record - I have made this very mistake in multiple past LTRs. Would have been better off cutting ties as soon as it was clear it wasn’t going to work.
The problem is thinking of it as an investment. You must stop doing this because this is what stops your healing. You either want a return on your investment or you want to get even and 99% of the time you get neither and you just fester.

Relationship are not an investment here is why. 85% of all relationships fail. You have to be prepared to cut ties and walk away with the sense you have lost nothing because you have lost nothing.

Think about that. If we look at an investment with money through the lense of a relationship it is foolish.

Broker "Hey Mr. I have an investment opportunity for you. You give me 50 000 bucks and it will give you a good reward on your investment." Double or triple. You will make cake!!

You " what is the catch?"

Broker "there is an 85% chance you will lose everything. You in?"

How many of you would put your money down?

A relationship is not an investment. A relationship is something where the woman adds to your life. She isn't your life, she adds a little to it. So if she decides to walk away, you have lost nothing. If you decided to walk away you have lost nothing.

It is all about mindset do not view a relationship as an investment.
 
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Barrister

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The problem is thinking of it as an investment. You must stop doing this because this is what stops your healing. You either want a return on your investment or you want to get even and 99% of the time you get neither and you just fester.

Relationship are not an investment here is why. 85% of all relationships fail. You have to be prepared to cut ties and walk away with the sense you have lost nothing because you have lost nothing.

Think about that. If we look at an investment with money through the lense of a relationship it is foolish.

Broker "Hey Mr. I have an investment opportunity for you. You give me 50 000 bucks and it will give you a good reward on your investment." Double or triple. You will make cake!!

You " what is the catch?"

Broker "there is an 85% chance you will lose everything. You in?"

How many of you would put your money down?

A relationship is not an investment. A relationship is something where the woman adds to your life. She isn't your life, she adds a little to it. So if she decides to walk away, you have lost nothing. If you decided to walk away you have lost nothing.

It is all about mindset do not view a relationship as an investment.
I agree with you - although this is much easier said than done. Especially because our society actively makes us think of relationships as an investment with phrases like “working on the relationship/things” and “reaching compromises.” We are asked to “give effort” and that “relationships aren’t easy”, etc. We view them as contractual - even ones that are not marriages. And in a way everything in life that you give time to is an investment - relationships or otherwise.

I do think taking the mindset you are stating here is certainly a healthier way to approach relationships. Of course, it is selfish in a way - but a good way that will save a lot of time and pointless struggle.
 

dude99

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I agree with you - although this is much easier said than done. Especially because our society actively makes us think of relationships as an investment with phrases like “working on the relationship/things” and “reaching compromises.” We are asked to “give effort” and that “relationships aren’t easy”, etc. We view them as contractual - even ones that are not marriages. And in a way everything in life that you give time to is an investment - relationships or otherwise.

I do think taking the mindset you are stating here is certainly a healthier way to approach relationships. Of course, it is selfish in a way - but a good way that will save a lot of time and pointless struggle.
I understand it is easier said than done. I have been there too. But It has to be a selfish way moving forward because it is how women view men. They have been selfishly destroying men emotionally and financially with zero repercussions for decadrs now. It is time for a change. Men have been programmed to as you put it work on the relationship invest in the relationship fix the relationship be a hero/captain save a hoe/stepdad/financial bearer/ carry everything on our shoulders or we are shamed by feminists, when women on the other hand get to flip through a virtual rolodex of men on demand and if men have anything to say about it we are the bad guys.

Women have been putting themselves first and being selfish for too long now. It is time to give women the men they deserve. Ones that put themselves first.
 

Goldrex

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Day 15. I got an angry rant from her because I liked her friend on tinder. She sent it on both messenger and iMessage. I didn’t reply either way. I found her anger amusing, but I do still miss her. What’s the average time to get over the empty feeling? I know eight months isn’t a long time when considering life as a whole but it felt like we were together for a while. I guess how do I get over the oneitis? Like logically I know she was trash but emotionally I want her back. 25% of the way there, hoping it starts to get better soon.
 

dude99

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Day 15. I got an angry rant from her because I liked her friend on tinder. She sent it on both messenger and iMessage. I didn’t reply either way. I found her anger amusing, but I do still miss her. What’s the average time to get over the empty feeling? I know eight months isn’t a long time when considering life as a whole but it felt like we were together for a while. I guess how do I get over the oneitis? Like logically I know she was trash but emotionally I want her back. 25% of the way there, hoping it starts to get better soon.
The more you get busy taking care of yourself and focus on yourself your work/hobbies and new stuff for yourself including new women, the less revellant she will be to you.
Also ignore her angry rant. What she is trying to do is keep your thoughts of her and it is a selfish thing for her to do. You have the right to like who and what you want. Just delete those messages without an answer. Block her too. She doesn't deserve an answer.
 

jamesfromhouston

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Hey guys!

Back again with my NC journey update as promised, every 30 days!

It's now been 5 months!

(You can see my past 30 day check-ins from NC day 0 to day 140 on Pages 605 & 606)

NC 150 Days

Contact & Breadcrumbs
No she has not reached out. Zero breadcrumbs. I remember reading a lot of people who have mentioned that girls usually turn around at some point. I created these bench marks, like "Oh I just have to wait until day 30. Then Day 60. Then Day 90...." and so forth. I now think, there really is no general rule and these benchmarks are stupid. Everyone is different. In my case, she has totally vanished from my life without a word. Most likely she has moved on or monkey branched to someone else. I do not expect to ever here from her again.

Them Feels After 5 Months
I don't really feel any pain anymore from the breakup or the lack of contact. It just isn't potent anymore. Surprisingly, I occasionally still think of her and miss her; yet, I've come to great realisation that I don't really miss her as a person. I miss those seemingly exciting moments of my life, mainly the sex. And aside from that, overall as a people, we aren't really compatible at all. She was full of red flags. So mostly, I've been projecting what I wanted to see on her, she represented adventure to me but as a person, she really was not that great and it would be hell if we were together on the long term.

Plates & Other Girls
On this front, I've actually slowed down. In the beginning 1 - 3 months of my journey, I furiously sought plates, lays and other girls. Had a couple of hook ups, crazy sex with some really hot girls. Those were some intense nights. Honestly as fun as it was, I just didn't really feel it made me feel permanently better in my NC journey, they were all temporary highs. Now that I have recently moved to another place that is currently in a more serious COVID lockdown, I am unable to go out anymore. So this has limited me interaction with plates. Although I've been restricted, it has also allowed me more time with myself and I feel working on myself and my career has really helped me feel much better in moving on than plates or lays. This is something I've mentioned previously as well.

More Red Pill
Because I've less time on plates and girls, I have become increasingly more red pill. The detachment gave clarity. I've also spent more time reading on SS forums as well as other books. I've come to discover greater red pill truths. This has made me more rational and less needy when it comes to girls. I now longer put them on pedestals, even the new girls that are currently orbiting my life. I have a sense of detachment and coolness. It feels alien to me at times, as I still feel a neediness or loneliness due to the lack of great female plates but I also realise that for most of my life prior to the break up, I've been kind of simpy or blue pilled. I used to chat with girls loads, shower them with attention, validation and my life almost revolved around them as a pursuit. Now I have a can't be f*cked attitude. I am not sure how this will impact my dating life but it certainly makes life simpler, makes my mind clearer.

Conclusions
This breakup and no contact has brought me closer to more self-growth. I made incredible improvements in my fitness, professional life as well as my philosophy. From this perspective, the girl seriously held me back and stunted my growth. The funny thing is I became more and more stagnant and was not even aware of it while I was in that relationship. But I guess the universe has its ways of correcting and bringing us to our true paths. I am just surprised I was not aware of it at the time, this reminds me of Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules Of Life, where one of his advice is for us to advise ourselves as if we are advising others. If you step back from your immediate situation and imagine you're someone else, was that girl even good for you? I now realise, no. I am also gaining great discoveries on the red pill path, this is something I hope to update more on in the next coming 30 days. I plan to practice and embrace red pill philosophy and see where it takes me in life!

Hope my bros are doing well.

-James
 

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Foe

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The funny thing is I became more and more stagnant and was not even aware of it while I was in that relationship.
Yeah I can relate dude, I'm only in week 3 NC and I still very much feel the sting of it though admittedly not as much as before. Its hard not to feel somewhat responsible knowing I let my **** go a bit and on the flip side it is rewarding getting it back together. My ex lives about 2km away and her place is on the way to pretty much everything and I find myself looking to see if her car is there. ****ing pathetic. I'm also preparing to see the new guy (small suburb) which I know she cant wait to rub it in my face. Anyway its great to see you doing so well.
 

jamesfromhouston

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Yeah I can relate dude, I'm only in week 3 NC and I still very much feel the sting of it though admittedly not as much as before. Its hard not to feel somewhat responsible knowing I let my **** go a bit and on the flip side it is rewarding getting it back together. My ex lives about 2km away and her place is on the way to pretty much everything and I find myself looking to see if her car is there. ****ing pathetic. I'm also preparing to see the new guy (small suburb) which I know she cant wait to rub it in my face. Anyway its great to see you doing so well.
Dude, you can do it. I did exactly what you did, can relate to searching for signs of her. There's nothing pathetic about it. In fact, I still occasionally do stalk online though not as intensely. Being with someone, especially for a period of time or especially when the sex was great is very much an addiction for us. It messes us up mentally. Red pill teachings are true too, I feel we men are much more "romantic" a sex, we start to instill so much sentimental value into the relationship but when you objectively step back, maybe you'll realise she was not exactly on the same wavelength, especially if she can branch so easily. For me, I honestly realised, she was not the best person for me, conflict of values; the thing I really miss I believe is sex with her, her sexual value and these "passionate" and "joyful" moments I created in my mind when I was experiencing the relationship, where I saw her as almost a goddess. But truth is pretty ugly. Once I was pulled out, after months, I start to realize I was in denial of what it really was. So yes dude, honestly, its over. It may be week 3 but you will start to care less and less; and you will start to see the truth more and more. You will become someone else than the person you are today, someone better, someone who has grown. If she came back today, I honestly don't think I could take her back at all. At most, I'd **** her because she was a hottie but she should have remained a fling or fwb; it should have been like this in the first place. It was my mistake to be romantic and see the romance of this relationship. I now realise as men we need to carefully choose who we enter relationships with, it is one of our greatest gifts and not all girls can engage us on this wavelength and deserve it.
 

Goldrex

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Yesterday was 3 weeks. She text me twice in those 3 weeks but I never replied. Today she showed up at my house, telling me she was so sorry. I asked sorry about what and she told me she was so mad about me leaving her she filed sexual assault charges on my base. She said she regretted it and she was really sorry and she would tried to withdraw her statement. I was in utter shock, like I’ve heard of girls getting revenge like that but it’s never happened to me before. To top it all off she also told me she’s pregnant with my kid. Like I don’t even know what to do right now.
 

jamesfromhouston

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Hey gents.

Back again, as I said, every 30 days, I'll check in.

Wow can you believe it?

NC 180! (6 Months)

Its already been half a year since the break up and the start of NC for me.

(Also 6 months since I first discovered and stumbled on the SS community and RP knowledge).

I am a disbelief that this much time has passed, in a way the break up seems like it was just yesterday, yet it also seems like another lifetime.

Contact

So, to start off with, she did not contact me EVER throughout the past 6 months. Not a single breadcrumb left. No attempts. I had always thought she would break at some point; she was so clingy to me before and practically obsessed with me. So this is a great surprise. There were some saying that 6 months is the magic number of when they come, well, not in my case. Absolute 0.

Emotions

Although I no longer feel the pain of the breakup anymore, even after 6 months, I still think about her from time to time. This I am very surprised by even after 6 months. Though I notice these thoughts have sort of changed. Its not so much the bad yearning I spoke about in my earlier NC updates; or is it a feeling that I had previously, of thinking how good it would be if we can be back together again. Instead, its more like a subtle curiosity of whether she thinks about me, how she is and also flashbacks of some of our really exciting times together. Yet actively, my mind has become so much more rational now than ever before, I see all the red flags she had and would not want to be with her ever again even if she came back. Definitely, my emotions are under control and I have so much clarity now.

Improvement

My career is now at new heights and I won't deny that the break up and the pain fueled most of my momentum of developing my own profession further. I really wanted to become better and in a way I have now achieved this. From noticing how much momentum and progression I've experienced, I now realized how stagnant I had become in the previous relationship. It was like my life force was gradually being sucked out of me; she truly was betatizing me, I was getting too comfortable, if the relationship were to continue, I would probably be a loser. I've also become more fit than I ever had been in the past 2 years. Looking back to old photos of myself, I realized how fat I had become. Now I've lost many kgs weight and gained a more athletic body. My overall look has improved. I work out everyday. One thing I have noticed though, especially in terms of fitness is that my momentum of working out has now gradually diminished. The insane drive I had at the beginning of the NC has more or less gone now. Break up truly is a fuel. Those were some dark times but truly some memorable times of fighting spirit. I am now learning to stick to my commitment, sooner or later, the negativity goes away and funnily enough, you'll miss it because of how much intensity it brought to your life.

Plates

One area of my life that I am currently taking a slight L is the plate/sex life. I recently relocated to a new country with an intense lockdown going on. This has made it impossible for me to go out for weeks. So I've not had access to plates or sex. I have actually become quite affected by this. There is an overall sense of loneliness and worthlessness at times. I went from someone who used to go out with plates every week. Now I am literally stuck with Instagram and OLD, waiting for the lockdown to be over. Yet I have also been reading more into RP material and SS, this has also made me want to change my ways and become more independent. Maybe, I rely my self worth, entertainment and sense of fulfillment too much on women. Perhaps this period and relocation is a challenge for me to become an independent man. Can't deny though, this feeling is a beetch.

RP Journey

I have been giving a lot of thoughts to the RP materials I have been immersing myself into. It seriously feels like an awakening. It is all still very new to me, there is still a lack of understanding, sometimes doubts, but I can see how much more RP I have been. I can also see how truthful the RP really is. I notice significant mental shifts in me; reviewing who I was before the break up and NC, I was seriously so beta and BP. Yet the transformation is difficult, there is still much that feels alien to me. There is also a lot that I got used to that was second nature to me and now I am fighting agaisnt my own instincts and nature to behave in certain ways. E.g. giving girls attention, or being a chat buddy. Yet this is what growth is about. I don't know how much value RP will bring to me as with recent lockdowns I don't have much opportunity to really see more interaction with girls, but I will integrate it into my life and wait for the opportunities to experience life again in its fullest ways with RP clarity once the situation allows.

Concluding Thoughts

I'll end with this. Although my life is going great, there isn't much action in terms of the girls. I desperately want some sexual adventure; especially one of the same proportion of the girl I began NC with, yet I am also aware, much of this is neediness and the current circumstances and great lays and people come in time. I am definitely in a much better place in life and in handling my emotions over the NC and breakup I've experienced. I am a different man!

See you guys in the next 30 days.

James
 

jamesfromhouston

Don Juan
Joined
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Hello gents.

Here I am again. Crazy to think I've been doing this every month this year.

I guess my main intentions are to help others with my own introspection; this is a tough path.

NC 210 (7 Months)

Things have definitely stalled and dipped recently since my last update.

The ex has not reached out or breadcrumbed me. It has been absolute silence. I am picturing she probably has monkey branched and totally forgotten about me. It makes me a bit down to not have received anything at all; mainly making me believe like I did not matter at all. At the same time, it is also part of my awakening from my deluded romantic mind to see the truth of women.

The momentum of my work out and self-improvement has tanked significantly; I am still keeping to most of my routines as before (e.g. working out, learning, etc.) however I don't do it with as much intensity and passion as before. As a result, I've started to gain some weight, but it is still largely under control. I am just feeling a bit burnt out and also the pain that propelled me to improve has largely gone. I am fighting to maintain the same momentum of improvement now, I don't plan to give up.

I am currently suffering a horrible dry spell with women. I've recently moved somewhere that has very strict COVID measures and for the most part of the past 2 months, I was in lockdown. So I've not had any contact and interaction with girls for quite awhile now. It certainly does not help me with my NC journey because I am not able to meet others; I've had to largely face this at home and by myself. I've also been adopting more RP mentality and have avoided OLD and not invested very much into it. The result of it is I am quite lonely when it comes to women. I am looking forward for the days when I can get back out there, date and meet women. Yet I've also tried to see the positivity of it, I've tried to see this as a challenge to face breakups alone without distraction and focus on working on me. I can't deny it definitely isn't easy and has made it more challenging for me.

Maybe because of the dry spell, I recently have been thinking about the ex a bit more than usual. I guess I really long for one of those exciting and passionate relationships with a girl. I know much of my past relationship with the ex was largely me romanticizing it but it certainly felt great back then when it was happening; I've not had much luck lately because of circumstance.

Anyway, I'll check out for now.
 
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