The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Grinderman]

I don't believe in 30, 60 or whatever days of no contact. I think we all should be implementing indefinite no contact. I mean, do you guys want to be friends or keep them as plates? If you can handle it more power to you but imo it will get complicated and messy at some point.

If you want them back then that's different. Let them reach out and go from there.

But the answer is to move on, focus on yourself and let them go. I know when its fresh and for sometime after that its hard but it does get a lot better and time helps you realize they aren't what you need in life. After all, if they were meant to be we wouldn't break up in the first place.

Stay strong guys. For me its been nearly 5 months of no contact. Feels great, yes i still think about her occasionally but i did live with her for 4 years and she did mess with my head for sometime after we split, so I'd like to think its normal. But i have no intention of ever contacting her again. I don't expect to ever hear from her again but then again who knows. I don't really care anymore.

Just like your life is better without the weed robbing your energy and polluting your soul, you're improving your life by leaving this female in your rearview mirror (bit of Pearl Jam "say things so much clearer, once you were in my rearview mirror". The weed is a distant memory just like she is slowly becoming. Burning in the embers of the past.

Scarily similar situation to yourself. The focus on your self, let them go is spot on. Look more through the windscreen focusing on where we are going with laser vision and determination, rather than looking at the rearview mirror, is the essence of letting go and moving on.

 

[NSX-R]

That’s completely true . I remember once i denied fcking her and was ignoring her for the whole night . I will never forget it . She was literally begging me to fck her and she even was pulling me so that I’ll respond. Didn’t respond at all but the next day we had one of the best sexual sessions ever .
In my current situation i don’t really care how she feels. My ego got rewarded when she started chasing and falling so low to respond after blocking her everywhere. I got what i wanted and the objective was complete.There is nothing else. I have literally zero feelings left for her . I wish i was feeling the same some time ago . Anyway I’m the winner .

Yesterday she reached out AGAIN begging me to unblock her from everywhere. Off course i didn’t, actually i haven’t seen it yet on iMessage and won’t be seeing it for the reason to not give her the slightest validation that i took the message . I’m in a position right now that i find it very funny but also sad because she got the rejection slap right in her face and she still tries to come in contact with me . Off course that’s not gonna happen. Personally i don’t believe she’s doing it just because she wants me back but because she wants to get her ego back and blame me for everything and let her subconscious feel ok after everything she’s done . Basic tactical female move . I let her live with the guilt, i don’t give a shyt about her at all anymore . The reason i update this post is because i want to show how low women can get and now it can get more lower .

 

[manfrombelow]

Yesterday she reached out AGAIN begging me to unblock her from everywhere. Off course i didn’t, actually i haven’t seen it yet on iMessage and won’t be seeing it for the reason to not give her the slightest validation that i took the message . I’m in a position right now that i find it very funny but also sad because she got the rejection slap right in her face and she still tries to come in contact with me . Off course that’s not gonna happen. Personally i don’t believe she’s doing it just because she wants me back but because she wants to get her ego back and blame me for everything and let her subconscious feel ok after everything she’s done . Basic tactical female move . I let her live with the guilt, i don’t give a shyt about her at all anymore . The reason i update this post is because i want to show how low women can get and now it can get more lower .

Downgrade her to plate, and use her to unload your *** at your desire.

 

[dude99]

Yesterday she reached out AGAIN begging me to unblock her from everywhere. Off course i didn’t, actually i haven’t seen it yet on iMessage and won’t be seeing it for the reason to not give her the slightest validation that i took the message . I’m in a position right now that i find it very funny but also sad because she got the rejection slap right in her face and she still tries to come in contact with me . Off course that’s not gonna happen. Personally i don’t believe she’s doing it just because she wants me back but because she wants to get her ego back and blame me for everything and let her subconscious feel ok after everything she’s done . Basic tactical female move . I let her live with the guilt, i don’t give a shyt about her at all anymore . The reason i update this post is because i want to show how low women can get and now it can get more lower .

Basic self centered, self entitled, selfish female behaviour. They aren't used to guys rejecting them and most women don't handle it well at all because their ego tells them they are supposed to be hurting you.

Like you said she wants her ego back. Not you. She wants to put herself back on the pedastle she believes she should be on.

Stay the course brother. Keep ignoring that message.

 

[dude99]

Downgrade her to plate, and use her to unload your *** at your desire.

Naaah. He shouldn't reward her with that. That would be giving her time and attention she doesn't deserve.

 

[NSX-R]

Basic self centered, self entitled, selfish female behaviour. They aren't used to guys rejecting them and most women don't handle it well at all because their ego tells them they are supposed to be hurting you.

Like you said she wants her ego back. Not you. She wants to put herself back on the pedastle she believes she should be on.

Stay the course brother. Keep ignoring that message.

Thank you brother . I’m that kind of person when i take a decision i keep it , only reason i was softer with her was because feelings were involved and it was too late to back off . First few weeks were hard but right now I’m better than ever before .

Downgrade her to plate, and use her to unload your *** at your desire.

No reason to do that cause to be called as a plate means that i should promote her and not demote her . Big difference. Plus i don’t want even the slightest contact with her .

 

[Goldrex]

Day 1. I’m trying to exit a toxic relationship with a bpd chick. Even though I know I’m being used and manipulated it still hurts to let her go. The last few weeks have been f*cking awful, but every time I’m almost okay alone she like knows to text me and bring me back in. I’m hoping with the help of the forum I can maintain the strength to keep no contact. I’m sure I’ll be updating regularly.

 

[Asseater]

Day 1. I’m trying to exit a toxic relationship with a bpd chick. Even though I know I’m being used and manipulated it still hurts to let her go. The last few weeks have been f*cking awful, but every time I’m almost okay alone she like knows to text me and bring me back in. I’m hoping with the help of the forum I can maintain the strength to keep no contact. I’m sure I’ll be updating regularly.

What will really make things easier is blocking her, speaking from personal experience. Good luck on being resolute and staying no contact.

 

[dude99]

Day 1. I’m trying to exit a toxic relationship with a bpd chick. Even though I know I’m being used and manipulated it still hurts to let her go. The last few weeks have been f*cking awful, but every time I’m almost okay alone she like knows to text me and bring me back in. I’m hoping with the help of the forum I can maintain the strength to keep no contact. I’m sure I’ll be updating regularly.

If she is a true BPD you have to cut and ignore everything from her from now on. They are not capable of healthy relationships with people. Period. Not capable.

You will have hard days but once you clear your head you will see how toxic she was and you will be glad she is gone. We have all been there. We have all had a nasty toxic relationship and any cluster b's, bpd in your example, are never ever worth your time effort or caring. They will do nothing but suck the life out of you.

Stay no contact. And when she does reach out, because she will, hurting you is entertainment to them, you just ignore deletw, block, swipe left and have nothing to do with her.

The guys here are great support. Reach out and they can offer you emotional support.

It gets better.

 

[Baibars]

To be honest i didn't count the days i'm not talking to my Ex anymore but i'm not talking to her since last summer. She constantly disrespected me and used the kids as a weapon so i decided to stop talking to her. I went to a lawyer and now i'm in a custody battle with her.
She's a toxic ****, her mom has bpd and 3 kids from 3 men. My Ex has chosen the same path. I would say that i'm pretty much over her.

Yesterday i was checking my blocked contacts on IG and WhatsApp. I unblocked my Ex because she doesn't care that i have her blocked anyway.
I saw that she has her new bf's name linked on her IG profile. I felt bad for a moment but then just closed it. This girl is damaged and when i was chasing her when i was a blue pill simp, she already had sex with other guys. Now she's playing the good girl role and pretends to be religious.
However i have a lot of work to do on myself and i feel like i made some progress. I don't really feel the urge to contact her but i still think about her and the past sometimes.
She hates me and wants to take all my parental rights that's what she's trying to get through her lawyer. I still don't see her as my enemy somehow even though she treated me like trash and doesn't even regret it and will never. I mean i still didn't fully accept this fact.

I would espescially like to get some advice from @dude99 and @derby1

 

[derby1]

To be honest i didn't count the days i'm not talking to my Ex anymore but i'm not talking to her since last summer. She constantly disrespected me and used the kids as a weapon so i decided to stop talking to her. I went to a lawyer and now i'm in a custody battle with her.
She's a toxic ****, her mom has bpd and 3 kids from 3 men. My Ex has chosen the same path. I would say that i'm pretty much over her.

Yesterday i was checking my blocked contacts on IG and WhatsApp. I unblocked my Ex because she doesn't care that i have her blocked anyway.
I saw that she has her new bf's name linked on her IG profile. I felt bad for a moment but then just closed it. This girl is damaged and when i was chasing her when i was a blue pill simp, she already had sex with other guys. Now she's playing the good girl role and pretends to be religious.
However i have a lot of work to do on myself and i feel like i made some progress. I don't really feel the urge to contact her but i still think about her and the past sometimes.
She hates me and wants to take all my parental rights that's what she's trying to get through her lawyer. I still don't see her as my enemy somehow even though she treated me like trash and doesn't even regret it and will never. I mean i still didn't fully accept this fact.

I would espescially like to get some advice from @dude99 and @derby1

You must continue this path, even if you feel uncomfortable, Disengage, you never want this woman to know she controls your happiness.

What I want you to do is visualise, you contacting her in anyway shape or form, and picture her laughing at you & your message, then counter blocking you..

I then want you to picture yourself smashing your room up in a blue pill rage, and beating yourself up at giving her the honour of destroying you a 2nd time

find new hobbies & better people to surround yourself with

Sit alone in your apartment and use affirmations "This is bloody great I love being alone" repeat 100 times

I hope that makes sense

 

[Grinderman]

Day 1. I’m trying to exit a toxic relationship with a bpd chick. Even though I know I’m being used and manipulated it still hurts to let her go. The last few weeks have been f*cking awful, but every time I’m almost okay alone she like knows to text me and bring me back in. I’m hoping with the help of the forum I can maintain the strength to keep no contact. I’m sure I’ll be updating regularly.

Whatever emotions or states of minds your having difficulty with, the key is to cultivate the opposite....

Where you codependent in the relationship? (dependent on another/her)....you must vision you as an independent man and move towards that vision. What do you look like as an independent man? Free, happy, self reliant, financial freedom, own place, own friends....what does it look live for you? MOVE TOWARDS IT!!!

Feeling lonely (without her or in general) you simply must move towards being a man who is confortable in his own company. Painful loneliness becomes.....BLISSFUL SOLITUDE!! What do you like to do in your own company? read? journal? series? music? long philosophical walks in nature? WHAT IS IT FOR YOU?? MOVE TOWARDS IT!!! When you find this sweet spot of blissful solitude......you can become fussy fo the company you keep. Your alone time becomes valuable.

Feeling hurt? cultivate well being. Move towards looking after yourself and giving yourself the self-care that you need (Mothering yourself in a way)

MOVE AWAY FROM THE DARKNESS AND MOVE TOWARDS THE LIGHT!! THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT!! BELIEVE IT!!

 

[Barrister]

NC - Day 80 (no contact broken)

She called today and I picked up. First time we had spoken in almost 3 months. We were cordial but it was clear she was fishing to see whether I was seeing other people. She did this under the guise of “referring me a client” but that took all of 2 minutes. We then spoke for 20 mins on other things.

Part of me enjoyed hearing from her. I feel like this is only for validation on her part. I know I’m not completely over her yet so it’s dangerous. She’s likely already in an LTR with someone else.

 

[Mike41090]

NC - Day 80 (no contact broken)

She called today and I picked up. First time we had spoken in almost 3 months. We were cordial but it was clear she was fishing to see whether I was seeing other people. She did this under the guise of “referring me a client” but that took all of 2 minutes. We then spoke for 20 mins on other things.

Part of me enjoyed hearing from her. I feel like this is only for validation on her part. I know I’m not completely over her yet so it’s dangerous. She’s likely already in an LTR with someone else.

When my girlfriend dumped me over a year ago, the second she left my house I automatically treated it like she was seeing someone else and did not initiate anything with her since. My ex eventually reached out after six months to send condolences for a family member passing away, then a month later in regards to the protests. I was friendly both times, but was also convinced she was fishing regardless of who passed away. Regardless of her reaching out or whatever, if she has the balls to dump you, she should also have the balls to bring up getting back together. If she doesn’t, then keep the train moving. And even if she did you should politely decline. Avoid the drama.

 

[Barrister]

When my girlfriend dumped me over a year ago, the second she left my house I automatically treated it like she was seeing someone else and did not initiate anything with her since. My ex eventually reached out after six months to send condolences for a family member passing away, then a month later in regards to the protests. I was friendly both times, but was also convinced she was fishing regardless of who passed away. Regardless of her reaching out or whatever, if she has the balls to dump you, she should also have the balls to bring up getting back together. If she doesn’t, then keep the train moving. And even if she did you should politely decline. Avoid the drama.

I broke up with her because she wasn’t pulling her weight and was talking to an orbiter far too much. I made some posts about it a few pages back. I know I need to limit this or risk getting burned badly.

 

[dude99]

To be honest i didn't count the days i'm not talking to my Ex anymore but i'm not talking to her since last summer. She constantly disrespected me and used the kids as a weapon so i decided to stop talking to her. I went to a lawyer and now i'm in a custody battle with her.
She's a toxic ****, her mom has bpd and 3 kids from 3 men. My Ex has chosen the same path. I would say that i'm pretty much over her.

Yesterday i was checking my blocked contacts on IG and WhatsApp. I unblocked my Ex because she doesn't care that i have her blocked anyway.
I saw that she has her new bf's name linked on her IG profile. I felt bad for a moment but then just closed it. This girl is damaged and when i was chasing her when i was a blue pill simp, she already had sex with other guys. Now she's playing the good girl role and pretends to be religious.
However i have a lot of work to do on myself and i feel like i made some progress. I don't really feel the urge to contact her but i still think about her and the past sometimes.
She hates me and wants to take all my parental rights that's what she's trying to get through her lawyer. I still don't see her as my enemy somehow even though she treated me like trash and doesn't even regret it and will never. I mean i still didn't fully accept this fact.

I would espescially like to get some advice from @dude99 and @derby1

I remember giving advice to a user named Roober here on how to deal with the BPD ex.
Here is some of what i told him

1. Any issues in the past, just refuse to discuss. Simply answer "that topic is history and i will never discuss that with you again.." stick to that. Stick to your guns. They like to pick fights even about stuff that was over with 2 years ago. Do not defend your self. Just tell them that topic is closed.

2. If she is BPD Cut as much of her out of your life as possible. Discuss your kids and if she attempts any other topic just say no.

3. Get a lawyer for your childs sake. Let anything else that needs to be discussed, let the lawyer tell her. Not you..she will only attempt to pick a fight with you.

Stick to your guns. Ignore..delete and under no circumstances entertain taking her back.

I.will see if i can find the original message to T
Roober because i had some excellent points that i do not recall them all but ill post the link

 

[Baibars]

I remember giving advice to a user named Roober here on how to deal with the BPD ex.
Here is some of what i told him

1. Any issues in the past, just refuse to discuss. Simply answer "that topic is history and i will never discuss that with you again.." stick to that. Stick to your guns. They like to pick fights even about stuff that was over with 2 years ago. Do not defend your self. Just tell them that topic is closed.

2. If she is BPD Cut as much of her out of your life as possible. Discuss your kids and if she attempts any other topic just say no.

3. Get a lawyer for your childs sake. Let anything else that needs to be discussed, let the lawyer tell her. Not you..she will only attempt to pick a fight with you.

Stick to your guns. Ignore..delete and under no circumstances entertain taking her back.

I.will see if i can find the original message to T
Roober because i had some excellent points that i do not recall them all but ill post the link

thats what im doing right now.
I don’t talk to her and only communicate through lawyer. Seems like I’m still not fully over her since I got a little emotional when I saw her with her new guy in social media but I didn’t do some dumb sh*t . Getting back with her is no option for me even if she wanted.

 

[dude99]

thats what im doing right now.
I don’t talk to her and only communicate through lawyer. Seems like I’m still not fully over her since I got a little emotional when I saw her with her new guy in social media but I didn’t do some dumb sh*t . Getting back with her is no option for me even if she wanted.

Here is the link to the post. Hopefully i did this right. Read his post to get the context of my answers. Hope it is of some help
.

Help with ex-wife?

Let me start by saying we have two kids together, so completely removing myself is not an option. Background -Dated 5 years, married 9 years -Split in January 2016 -Two boys, 4 and 6 -223 schedule and 50% custody -I walked out and she still holds resentment -In final stages of divorce, but she...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Baibars]

Here is the link to the post. Hopefully i did this right. Read his post to get the context of my answers. Hope it is of some help
.

Help with ex-wife?

Let me start by saying we have two kids together, so completely removing myself is not an option. Background -Dated 5 years, married 9 years -Split in January 2016 -Two boys, 4 and 6 -223 schedule and 50% custody -I walked out and she still holds resentment -In final stages of divorce, but she...

www.sosuave.net

thank you. It definitely helps when it comes to dealing with her but this guys story is different and he was the one that left the relationship. In my case I was dumped and she doesn’t care anyways but when we were talking she treated me like dirt and constantly took advantage of me then I decideds stop talking to her.

 

[Goldrex]

So I broke no contact and without with her today/yesterday. Big mistake. Night ended ****ty like usual but when I tried to leave she called the cops and told them I was suicidal. Cleared by city cops, get back home on base and then base cops show up. She called city police and MPs to get back at me. I should’ve listened to you guys and stayed away but I didn’t have the willpower to do it. It’s after midnight so today marks day 1 again for me.