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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

Billy James

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Thank you everyone for the support. I really appreciate it.

Today she left me quite the nasty voice mail. I haven't returned any of her phone calls and she knows I am ignoring her. She says I owe her an explanation for my behaviour. I just deleted it and didn't return the call.

Today I also did what was necessary. I cancelled the hall for the wedding. Don't think it will be possible to get the deposit back. But marrying her is out of the question now also. I have been advised to never give her another chance.
 

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bcude

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I have been advised to never give her another chance.
That's good advice.
You're doing good, she will probably blow up completely knowing what she did and not being able to reach you. Her mind is spinning into overdrive right now.
What makes you say "it's complicated"? You have children?
 

Billy James

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That's good advice.
You're doing good, she will probably blow up completely knowing what she did and not being able to reach you. Her mind is spinning into overdrive right now.
What makes you say "it's complicated"? You have children?
No, by complicated I meant we have the day picked the hall rented, wedding invitations sent out rsvp's collected everything was in motion and finalized. Basically a lot of money put down on a wedding that now isn't going to happen.
 

Mauser96

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No, by complicated I meant we have the day picked the hall rented, wedding invitations sent out rsvp's collected everything was in motion and finalized. Basically a lot of money put down on a wedding that now isn't going to happen.
You are still HUNDREDS of thousands ahead my friend. Unless you want kids, I would think long and hard about EVER getting married.
 

MountainSlide

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You are still HUNDREDS of thousands ahead my friend. Unless you want kids, I would think long and hard about EVER getting married.
Divorce is an expensive proposition. As well as alimony and child support. You’ll be poor lol supporting some Arby’s sandwich bytch who cheated on you and monkey branches off to another dude.
 
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art1210

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I haven't been here for quite some time but it looks like it's the time to face the truths so it might be a bit of a long post about 2 girls I've ever had feelings for. Removing any feelings I had for both of them have been and still is the hardest thing I ever had to do, especially as both of them walked out of my life only 3.5 months apart so the second I was forgetting about the 1st girl and was getting better, the 2nd one yanked me back down again.
  • Around Day 110- girl I met 3 years ago
    • We weren't really together as she moved away after like a year but we kept on seeing each other every couple of weeks so it was more like FWB
    • She had some things I didn't necessarily like in her (like drinking a lot and being a bit of a party girl) but we've never had a single argument in the last 3 years
    • She was very feminine, allowed me to choose where to go / what to do, gave me a number of gifts and paid for me a number of times - basically a great girl
    • We spent a lot of time together travelling to other countries and I did have big feelings for her but she wasn't in my city anymore so neither of us started the conversation about "what are we?"
    • I was meant to see her in August 2019 but the fate decided differently (power cut that affected the whole city which hadn't happened for 10 years before, an airport that got flooded which created a queue of 500 people to get through security and my flight being the only one cancelled out of 30-40 flights - all 3 things happened in a space of 3h) and I could feel something changed that weekend, compared to the past 3 years
    • She then stopped initiating contact, flaked when I invited her to travel with my friends to celebrate my birthday and didn't want me to visit her again so I knew she met someone else
    • Last time I saw her was when she visited my city 3.5 months ago - went out with her and her friend who then slipped information by mistake that she had a boyfriend (which I suspect she met during the weekend that I was meant to see her)
    • Wished her all the best the next morning, unfollowed on Insta and haven't heard from her since
    • I drank a lot of alcohol, ate tons of **** food, cried and didn't go to a gym for about a week or two
    • I think about her from time to time but in more of a "damn, it's a shame it finished in that way as I still miss her a bit" - not going to break NC as what hurt most it the fact that I've heard all the info from her friend that I met 2h before rather than her
  • Day 8- a girl I met 2 years ago
    • She moved here to learn English for a couple of months
    • We started hanging out more and more, both of us started to really like each other and while we were parting ways she said "I really like you, it's just that I'm leaving this country soon" but neither of us wanted to start LDR
    • I absolutely liked the whole package as she was not only gorgeous but we had great banter, fun and connection that I've never felt apart from her and the girl above
    • She left the country 1.5 years ago but we kept in touch regularly (every week to 3 weeks) - she knew I was seeing other girls but it didn't work out with any of them as I couldn't find the same connection (funny enough, this girl ****ed me up to the level where I couldn't even get hard with other girls in bed)
    • I visited her twice and both times felt like we just saw each other a week before - we were cuddling again, I spanked her ass when she misbehaved and the whole vibe was just very fun and flirty
    • She had some things that I should've spotted earlier and just walk away though (I did once but she reeled me back in)- she always wanted me to confirm I miss her and compliment her without her saying these things back, she comes from a sexually repressed culture (prays, doesn't drink, is a virgin, hasn't even smoked shisha) so any sort of sexual innuendos and flirting was just ignored, she didn't put much effort into the whole thing (hasn't visited me once, forgot my birthday twice yet wanted me to remember hers)
    • I even thought of moving to her country as a new adventure but decided against it based on her lack of effort...she also said she couldn't move away from her family (which seemed to be true as she was homesick a couple of times when she was in my city)
    • I invited her to visit a new country with me about 2 months ago and things changed some time after this - she became less flirty and less responsive but we kept on talking every so often
    • She then ignored 2 of my texts in a space of a week a month ago (I just declined to get into her frame and say "yes, I miss you a lot" as I could feel she started taking me for granted too much) so I suspected she met someone else, based on the same pattern with the girl above
    • I texted her in a friendly way a week ago to ask her how 2020 was treating her, we chatted for a bit and then I asked her to tell me if she was seeing anyone new - she confirmed that "she was getting close to someone" so I just wished her all the best as I suspected that was the case. She asked me 3 min after "what about you?" so I knew she cared a bit as she wouldn't have bothered to even ask about it if she had met the "most amazing guy ever"...but I just replied a couple of hours after "Well...I rejected 2 girls as I cared more about you but it looks like they're back in the game now. Anyways, take care bumblebee!" as I wanted to show that I'm moving on based on her decision. No response after that so going NC all the way.
    • I drank a bit of alcohol, ate some **** food, cried and didn't go to a gym for 3 days but I'm getting back up again
    • I suspect she will message me at certain point as she did for New Years Day (she was defo thinking about me in the evening as who the hell texts "Happy New Year! Hope you had a good party yesterday!" at 7pm on New Years Day) - if not then maybe that's for the better as I feel like I was into her more than she was into me which is not a good foundation for a relationship with a girl that I'd need to move for
All in all, the last 3.5 months has been really hard on me and I'm not sure when my mood will get better. I ****ed a girl last Friday, went out with another girl on Sat, I'm working on my game but it's going to take me months before I can get girls that I really want.
 

Robert28

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This girl popped in and out of my life for the past year. We never were official but I met her family and her best friend. It was weird because this girl didn’t meet my friends not a single time, even though I tried to set up meetings. It was weird, she never came to my house either. But she’d come and go, for instance we’d hangout for 2-3 months regularly and talk every other day and then she’d get distant for a couple weeks, but this distance kept getting longer and longer each time I noticed. She came around for the final time around Halloween and we made it through New Years. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since Jan 15, this is the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other or talking to each other. I asked her to hangout the weekend after Jan 15 but she said “we might can do something”, never heard a word and still haven’t. So I was smart enough to know not to chase and go no contact permanently because I didn’t want to do this anymore of her walking in and out of my life. Blocked and deleted her number. Oh this is day 13 or 14 I think. Dunno if she’s reached out or not since she’s blocked
 

Mauser96

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This girl popped in and out of my life for the past year. We never were official but I met her family and her best friend. It was weird because this girl didn’t meet my friends not a single time, even though I tried to set up meetings. It was weird, she never came to my house either. But she’d come and go, for instance we’d hangout for 2-3 months regularly and talk every other day and then she’d get distant for a couple weeks, but this distance kept getting longer and longer each time I noticed. She came around for the final time around Halloween and we made it through New Years. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since Jan 15, this is the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other or talking to each other. I asked her to hangout the weekend after Jan 15 but she said “we might can do something”, never heard a word and still haven’t. So I was smart enough to know not to chase and go no contact permanently because I didn’t want to do this anymore of her walking in and out of my life. Blocked and deleted her number. Oh this is day 13 or 14 I think. Dunno if she’s reached out or not since she’s blocked
Nothing lost. If she really wants to see you she will knock on your door
 

Mauser96

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She has never been to my house, doesn’t know where I live lol
I guess you won't hear from her then and can forget about her
 
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Sponty

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It's been 4 and 1/2 months since we broke up, she monkey branch back to an ex husband. The sex was amazing but she was starting to get disrespectful and I put her in her place which she didn't like and monkey branch back to her ex who she divorced to be with me. She tried to commit suicide 3 weeks after the breakup I was only notified because I was still on the call list at the time. She blocked me on everything for first 2 months. Then unblocked me on facebook and liked a photo of mine in the middle of the night. I can only assume she looks at my facebook while her ex husband is away at work. Just like week recommend friends at on instagram it looks like she unblocked me on instagram. I know I should have but I looked at her instagram, she went and made it public I think she wanted me to see everything.

Apparently she is on some 2 month vacation in europe and north africa with her 2 year old son that her husband is paying for while he stay back in the states and works. 90% of her posts are about being a happy family and so happy she is with her ex husband. It is all bull**** and lies and I can see that, I feel sorry for her. I know she depressed I see it in some of her photos, she is not smiling. Apparently she also made her facebook public aswell I assume because she wants me to see it. Deep down I know she will contact me in the future after the money runs out or she gets into another fight with her ex husband. I'm just so far gone and have my own problems never a chance between us ever again.

Since then though I got an EX (before the last one) of mine pregnant and have been having an on again off again thing going. She finally just shut me down saying she isn't attracted and there is no spark and we are just friends having a baby. I decided to take a job a couple hours away and she is losing her mind melting down.
 

Mauser96

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Since then though I got an EX (before the last one) of mine pregnant and have been having an on again off again thing going. She finally just shut me down saying she isn't attracted and there is no spark and we are just friends having a baby. I decided to take a job a couple hours away and she is losing her mind melting down.
Bad move. Get a DNA test so you know how badly this is going to fvck up your life.

Maybe it isn't yours
 

bcude

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It's been 4 and 1/2 months since we broke up, she monkey branch back to an ex husband. The sex was amazing but she was starting to get disrespectful and I put her in her place which she didn't like and monkey branch back to her ex who she divorced to be with me. She tried to commit suicide 3 weeks after the breakup I was only notified because I was still on the call list at the time. She blocked me on everything for first 2 months. Then unblocked me on facebook and liked a photo of mine in the middle of the night. I can only assume she looks at my facebook while her ex husband is away at work. Just like week recommend friends at on instagram it looks like she unblocked me on instagram. I know I should have but I looked at her instagram, she went and made it public I think she wanted me to see everything.

Apparently she is on some 2 month vacation in europe and north africa with her 2 year old son that her husband is paying for while he stay back in the states and works. 90% of her posts are about being a happy family and so happy she is with her ex husband. It is all bull**** and lies and I can see that, I feel sorry for her. I know she depressed I see it in some of her photos, she is not smiling. Apparently she also made her facebook public aswell I assume because she wants me to see it. Deep down I know she will contact me in the future after the money runs out or she gets into another fight with her ex husband. I'm just so far gone and have my own problems never a chance between us ever again.

Since then though I got an EX (before the last one) of mine pregnant and have been having an on again off again thing going. She finally just shut me down saying she isn't attracted and there is no spark and we are just friends having a baby. I decided to take a job a couple hours away and she is losing her mind melting down.
Uh oh, what a mess. All i can say is that women who put in an effort to make it look like they're happy family now on social media are usually the opposite trying to tell themselves something. Truly happy families don't need to show it, just like wealthy people don't have an urge to show off their riches. She sounds like a trainwreck tbh, stay away for your own sanity.
Also interesting that her ex-husband took her back just like that, they probably wont last.
 

Sponty

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Bad move. Get a DNA test so you know how badly this is going to fvck up your life.

Maybe it isn't yours
I got DNA test at 14 weeks they are now able to take some of the mother's blood and filter the babies blood non invasive. It cost me around 900 dollars and also gave us the gender which thank god it's a baby boy.
 

Mauser96

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I got DNA test at 14 weeks they are now able to take some of the mother's blood and filter the babies blood non invasive. It cost me around 900 dollars and also gave us the gender which thank god it's a baby boy.
So it is yours.

How did this happen?
With 14 forms of birth control? Not trying to be a d!ckkkkk here...…...
 
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Mike41090

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Around day 73. Still think about her a lot not going to lie, but this is is the second time we broke up and for good. Neither of us have uttered a word or seen each other since which I prefer. We share a ton of mutual friends. I’ve only spoken about the breakup to my inner circle within inner circle (people we do not share friends with by I trust to be tight lipped). Literally have dropped off the face of the earth in her world. I haven’t even bought up the breakup to our mutual friends because I already know they’re aware, no need to conversate over a dead horse. I’ll let her have to explain to everyone lol. I have been happy being alone for the past month and have been focusing on myself.
 

Mike41090

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Have not unfollowed or unblocked her or any of that (I have not stalked her btw).Just going about my life like the relationship never happened lol I feel this has been a good approach for me, any thoughts?
 

Sponty

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All i can say is that women who put in an effort to make it look like they're happy family now on social media are usually the opposite trying to tell themselves something.She sounds like a trainwreck tbh, stay away for your own sanity.
Also interesting that her ex-husband took her back just like that, they probably wont last.
I feel bad for him to be honest, after we broke up I noticed her gmail was logged into my laptop I checked her history (low move I should have just logged her out and moved on) I found every night, she would look at my facebook and then go watch porn for 1-2 hours. I have since logged out as it was unhealthy of me to be checking in on her and I need to move on etc etc...

So it is yours.
How did this happen?
With 14 forms of birth control? Not trying to be a d!ckkkkk here...…...
It most certainly mine.
I didn't see the signs, 3 weeks after I was broken up she was joking around about having a baby on text. Couple of weeks later I took her out for a night in the city for being such a good friend we ended up having a few drinks and made out. I figured I was safe to get totally drunk because she has 2 kids at home and she is not going to wake them to sex. Anyways we get back to her place and the kids are gone she had her mother grab them for the weekend. She strips down naked and begging me for sex, I put the only condom I have on. She asks me to take it off because it ruins all the feelings, comes over and rips the condom off throws it in the trash. Next thing I know I'm banging her and she begging me to put a baby inside her. I was pretty drunk rebounding and not thinking straight.
 

bcude

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Have not unfollowed or unblocked her or any of that (I have not stalked her btw).Just going about my life like the relationship never happened lol I feel this has been a good approach for me, any thoughts?
Your head seems to be at a good place, just don't go out of your way to avoid her. That also sends a message. Indifference and living well is the best approach.
 

bcude

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I feel bad for him to be honest, after we broke up I noticed her gmail was logged into my laptop I checked her history (low move I should have just logged her out and moved on) I found every night, she would look at my facebook and then go watch porn for 1-2 hours. I have since logged out as it was unhealthy of me to be checking in on her and I need to move on etc etc...



It most certainly mine.
I didn't see the signs, 3 weeks after I was broken up she was joking around about having a baby on text. Couple of weeks later I took her out for a night in the city for being such a good friend we ended up having a few drinks and made out. I figured I was safe to get totally drunk because she has 2 kids at home and she is not going to wake them to sex. Anyways we get back to her place and the kids are gone she had her mother grab them for the weekend. She strips down naked and begging me for sex, I put the only condom I have on. She asks me to take it off because it ruins all the feelings, comes over and rips the condom off throws it in the trash. Next thing I know I'm banging her and she begging me to put a baby inside her. I was pretty drunk rebounding and not thinking straight.
Oh jesus, already had 2 kids. Really wanted another one and used you for it. Alcohol is never an excuse sir. Women sooner or later tell you everything you need to know if you just observe and listen to them and their actions. She literally told you she wanted a baby over text and executed the plan at the first opportunity.
 
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