TheProspect
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- Feb 5, 2016
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I agree with your points. My post was from a risk-adverse "protect yourself" perspective, which at the extreme end would just be to not even attempt an LTR.I think this is the biggest learning gap in the manosphere and on Sosuave.
Over the years I've read a lot of posts from wise posters (and some dumb ones) saying that falling in love, developing crushes, feelings, and the like is the province of women, but not capital-M Men. Better to be detached for when the other shoe drops, or to keep her in "dread."
But those things (love, crushes) don't have to mean obsession. It's framed that way around here because for so many former chumps, that's what it once meant. I see so many guys on SS self-flagellating because they got a crush on some chick or developed feelings. When what they could really be doing is enjoying these things for what they are and welcoming the challenge they bring to the self - how to handle it without compromising your interests.
Strategies don't work, IMO. Once you start strategizing, your relationship (plate or LTR) becomes a project, and you start investing in non-investment.
The only thing that has worked for me is:
Find your mission and follow it.
I can't stress this enough. Ninety-nine percent of everything else falls into place. I'm not saying you shouldn't think before you act, or seek advice. I'm just saying that all of the boogeymen that haunt Sosuave can be neutralized if you
Find your mission and follow it.
AMOGs, Chads, Dual Mating Strategies, being "cucked," wondering "how to play this," wondering if you should next, wondering if you should call her out, should you be nicer, should you commit...none of this shyt matters when you
Find your mission and follow it.
Heck, you can even take on a side bytch and have it all blow up in your face, but you'll be fine. (Circling back to the thread topic...I almost forgot.)
Personally speaking, I see myself entertaining a relationship again if the conditions are right. Although given my direction in life at the moment, it wouldn't be for a couple years at least. But any relationship I do get in would have to develop naturally and not through strategizing. I don't want to have to constantly think about how to maintain it.
"Find your mission and follow it." In the last few months I've chosen to go on a different path in life that I'm excited about, that's totally independent of women and dating. Oddly enough, I feel by focusing on that mission, any LTR I do get into, I wouldn't have the time, energy, or willingness to make it a project, as you put it, as the mission is the focus. Rather, a relationship would be secondary to my mission, and I would be good with or without one.