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cola

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Do not judge.

You have gone through the motions, been at this game for years and finally found a good, healthy LTR.
But once in a while you crave another woman, yet at the same time have no interest in leaving your LTR.

How would you go about it, how are the rules different? How would you maneuver around bedding an occasional stray if you and your girl live together, or are so close that “pop ups” are now acceptable?

and I don’t wanna hear “don’t do it”, “a man keeps his word” or none of that white knight, Disney movie Prince Charming bs.
 
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AttackFormation

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An entire community complaining about women and relationships, only to knowingly commit the same acts they complain about. It's a pretty disgusting species we are, but hey.. you are far from being either the first or the last. This is what we are. As we say... look at actions, not words.
 

cola

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An entire community complaining about women and relationships, only to knowingly commit the same acts they complain about. It's a pretty disgusting species we are, but hey.. you are far from being either the first or the last. This is what we are. As we say... look at actions, not words.
I get where you’re coming from. This thread isn’t for everybody. If the topic triggers you morally your objections are respected.

Let’s face it. A certain percentage of us need multiple partners and a certain percentage are content with one. That’s male and female.
 

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Hamurabimbi

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I don’t live with my GF. So it’s not that hard. The side is an ex-. She’s fine with being a side. You’d be surprised how many girls are fine with being a side. I was. Yeah. I wouldn’t use OLD though. I did that for a bit. Nerve wracking.
 

AttackFormation

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I get where you’re coming from. This thread isn’t for everybody. If the topic triggers you morally your objections are respected.

Let’s face it. A certain percentage of us need multiple partners and a certain percentage are content with one. That’s male and female.
How would you react if you found out she was already being unfaithful before you decided to be? haha! that would be fun...

And don't try to BS yourself out of this with saying you are just "meeting your natural needs". If you merely wanted multiple women you could break up, make it open, or polyamorous. This is about your amoral hedonism and nothing else, at least just own up to that. Not only do you contaminate the forum with your hypocrisy, but you are too spineless to admit to doing so. Now I won't bother you any more, I don't have any futile delusions that anything will change... as I said, this is what we are. Peace...
 
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Roober

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"Men will always want other women" - David Deida

I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. Any man who disagrees is either a damn fool or a liar. For me, there is one important piece that must be handled first. You must be able to be completely independent of your woman.

What I mean is that you can live your life, completely unchanged, if she were not in it. You must make enough money to support yourself. You must have the mental strength to be on your own. And, you must have the resources to clear your life if she becomes a problem. Own your own house. Have her rent from you. Keep all finances separate.

If you have a tight handle on your finances, and can afford all of your expenses and maintain a decent life,then you're there. Additionally, you must have cash to pay for a moving company to get her out. Because for me, if it's over, I'm calling a moving company to move her $hit out of my house ASAP. Personally, it's much less of a headache to do it this way. If my lady did something horrible, I could literally have her out of my life within a week, and refurnish my house by the end of the month. An inconvience? Certainly. An impossibility? No chance.

With that said, cheating is more about opportunity than it is about seeking it out. And where there is opportunity, women "will move mountains to be with you." This means they will do all sorts of crazy stuff, modify their schedules, etc. to see you. And it's just a matter of creating more opportunities, spending more time out what the the guys, chatting up women at work, grabbing a bite at a restaurant after work, anything... The big key is zero consistency. If the woman expects you home at 6pm every day, when you're late, it's going to be difficult. If you keep your life random, then there is no way of knowing what you're up to. If you pass out on a buddy's couch, there's no way to tell who's couch you slept on and whether or not you were alone.

Every guy would jump at the chance of a hot woman creating opportunities. It's just part of life. The key is understanding the consequences and being able to handle them of you're caught. I have kids, so there is obviously much more hesitation because there's others I have to consider. It's all a simple matter of risk management, just like judging red flags when courting a woman. Reduce your risk as much as possible, then gamble with the set of consequences you think you can handle. Because when you pursue a woman outside your relationship, that is no different than rolling the dice at the craps table.

So, to summarize...
1. Be able to drop her
2. Keep your life random and busy
3. Also good... Minimize texts, emails, and phone calls
 
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cola

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This is about your amoral hedonism and nothing else, at least just own up to that.
I 100 percent own up to that.. I get tired of the same p*ssy can’t help it. If we were on an iPhone I’d end that last sentence with the shrug emoji.

in my defense it’s literally the example that’s been set for me. My grandfather had a mistress for years that my grandmother just pretended didn’t exist because he always took care of home. I guess being able to work part time (or not at all) while granddaddy hauls In the big bucks was a fair trade off for her.
Men in my family take care of home, drag their ass to work everyday, put in that over time and as a consolation get their d*ck sucked in Vegas or New Orleans a couple times a year.
 
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EyeBRollin

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No need to defend. Monogamy is unnatural. All men desire new pvssy.

Whatever you do, don’t embarrass your wife. Keep it discreet. Do it on a work trip out of town. Pay in cash. No sloppy shvt. Buy a burner pay phone. Etc etc. Also, women get less leverage in relationships over time.

Affairs are more likely to be exposed the longer they go on. Do your dirt and move on. Don’t go having full relationships with the side chick. Get in and get out.
 

cola

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How would you react if you found out she was already being unfaithful before you decided to be? haha! that would be fun...

And don't try to BS yourself out of this with saying you are just "meeting your natural needs". If you merely wanted multiple women you could break up, make it open, or polyamorous. This is about your amoral hedonism and nothing else, at least just own up to that. Not only do you contaminate the forum with your hypocrisy, but you are too spineless to admit to doing so. Now I won't bother you any more, I don't have any futile delusions that anything will change... as I said, this is what we are. Peace...
I just had another thought in the shower..

It’s perfectly ok to meet a girl, take her on dates, and eventually sleep with her knowing you have no intentions of being with her long term, all the while lying by omission by not flat out saying that from the beginning .. then having her unwillingly be a member of your harem of girls..

But it’s so “taboo” to get a little side action once or twice a year on your wife/girlfriend.. makes no sense to me.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

Own it and be transparent about it. There is no need to lie to your LTR or make her feel insecure or embarrassed.

But this requires honesty. How afraid of losing her are you? Are you prepared to have that difficult conversation?

No judgement here, mind. I know men who are transparent and operate this way. They are in multi year LTRs and they have not compromised their integrity.

How would she handle such a discussion and how afraid to lose her are you?
 

cola

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Advice from the old lady:

Own it and be transparent about it. There is no need to lie to your LTR or make her feel insecure or embarrassed.

But this requires honesty. How afraid of losing her are you? Are you prepared to have that difficult conversation?

No judgement here, mind. I know men who are transparent and operate this way. They are in multi year LTRs and they have not compromised their integrity.

How would she handle such a discussion and how afraid to lose her are you?
Hey BeExcellent,
Believe it or not this thread doesn’t really apply to me persay. Just thought it was an interesting topic of conversation.
 

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How would you react if you found out she was already being unfaithful before you decided to be? haha! that would be fun...

And don't try to BS yourself out of this with saying you are just "meeting your natural needs". If you merely wanted multiple women you could break up, make it open, or polyamorous. This is about your amoral hedonism and nothing else, at least just own up to that. Not only do you contaminate the forum with your hypocrisy, but you are too spineless to admit to doing so. Now I won't bother you any more, I don't have any futile delusions that anything will change... as I said, this is what we are. Peace...
Daaaaaaaamn. Were you cheated on before? lmao you really went off on him
 

BadBoy89

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Do not judge.

You have gone through the motions, been at this game for years and finally found a good, healthy LTR.
But once in a while you crave another woman, yet at the same time have no interest in leaving your LTR.

How would you go about it, how are the rules different? How would you maneuver around bedding an occasional stray if you and your girl live together, or are so close that “pop ups” are now acceptable?

and I don’t wanna hear “don’t do it”, “a man keeps his word” or none of that white knight, Disney movie Prince Charming bs.
LOL. I've said it so many times; men want the comfort and stability with the LTR, but they want the sex and excitement with the hot young girl.

It's tough if a man lives with the girl, or she is allowed to pop in. I always recommend a man live separately from his wife, spend four days a week together, the other three live separately. OP - You don't have to bring her back home, go to a nice hotel and smash. It's not that hard to get a hot girl alone.

I'm also with you on this. In a LTR, I would smash any hot young girl I could.
 
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stringpuller

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Do not judge.

You have gone through the motions, been at this game for years and finally found a good, healthy LTR.
But once in a while you crave another woman, yet at the same time have no interest in leaving your LTR.

How would you go about it, how are the rules different? How would you maneuver around bedding an occasional stray if you and your girl live together, or are so close that “pop ups” are now acceptable?

and I don’t wanna hear “don’t do it”, “a man keeps his word” or none of that white knight, Disney movie Prince Charming bs.
Cola been there and done it. The stress is not worth it.
Cultivate a good secs life with your LTR or get out.
It is far better for your secs life to always have a bit of dread going in the background, naturally through having other females around.
It doesnt take much.
 

ThisIsSparta

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The siren call never stops....... for me there is allway that temptation to have something new.
Its not even about lack or bad quality of sex in the LTR, but for the sake of having something different now and then.

OLD is difficult these days when you want to cheat. My wife for example has 3 friends(which i know of) that are on various platforms riding the ****-carousel. Its a minefield, you cant show your face there. Its better to find opportunities offline (work, sports, hobbies, shopping....).

I wouldnt go into full blown affairs(long term side beach), unless you are really indifferent to the fate of your LTR, as it is more likely for them to escalate when she finds out that she wants more. For me, it worked to have 3-5 fvck-dates and then next before someone gets attached. After all its about having something new from time to time, and not a second LTR.

Mindset is important. You have to be prepared to part ways with your LTR, financially and emotionally. Even if you dont want it to end, the mindset is important when you have to create opportunities(time and space) and deal with allegations (never excuse, only deny).
In my experience, unless she catches you red-handed you are fine. Most women find an excuse to work her mind arround the fact that something stinks as long as she is really into you. After all she is at least supposed to know that you have options IF she ever started to act up anyway.
 
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