Side b*tch game.. for the experienced, accomplished men ..

[mrgoodstuff]

Honesty is the best policy, and in the early phase of courtship, I'm convinced many women will go along with this.

However, in my experience, very few women will ever truly accept an "open" long-term relationship.

Whether they agree to it or not, inevitably, their heart and soul WILL demand exclusivity (because they are biologically programmed for exclusivity), and they WILL try to avenge/wreak emotional and physical havoc on you, even if they acquiesce to other lovers.

Disclaimer: I'm the world's biggest hypocrite. I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want a stable, live-in GF with whom I can share the many wonderments of a "normal" life...BUT I also want to experience the freedom and the thrill and the decadence of chasing women.

Currently I choose the easier route, the route of deception. It will likely catch up with me, but I'll be able to accept getting caught. Sad, but I am willing to risk losing the very women who truly love and care for me.

Sounds like a woman in 2021. Nowadays you can actually say this is how you want it and ladies will be ok with it.

 

[metalwater]

of course, I am against this. but do understand it.

if you want discretion, make sure she also needs discretion.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I've heard plenty of stories from older gentleman about having transactional affairs with younger women. Most of them I heard while I was an intern on a construction site. They'd have young women usually college age or 1-2 years removed, and be paying the girls car note or student loan bill. So they said. "Make it clear up front. I'll pick up your lease and we're going to screw. I'm not leaving my wife."

About five years ago I had an almost mentor. Older gentleman in his 60s. He was an engineer. He moved to the Middle East to work. Said they pay way more over there. Anyway, this guy introduced me to his family. Then one day he showed me a picture of his other wife and kids... a muslim woman from the country he was working at. I never got around to asking him how he juggled having two families on different continents. He did say though that he practices Islam only while he's over there (he's Christian) and it was an easy sell after that.

 

[BeExcellent]

I know 4 men personally who refuse to be exclusive. Three of these are in multi year LTRs and of those 3 one is married. They have an open marriage now but have been married almost 30 years. Theirs is a wack lifestyle to most other people. Then there are swingers and I know several couples who do that. The two unmarried men in LTRs both have live-in GFs who know about their occasional side dalliances but are OK with it. All 3 men are otherwise devoted partners and the women know this and the men love them.

The 4th man is a very close friend who is wild and refuses to settle into complete monogamy. He’s upfront about his lifestyle very early on so he’s selecting for women who will go along with his preferences and transparency. If the women drop off once they realize they can’t lock him down? Fine. Next.

Most men are not IDGAF enough to be this brutally honest about who they are. Therefore they are forever hiding an important part of who they are in addition to deceiving women who love and care for the men they *think* they know. It’s shjtty to discover after investing years into loving someone that they are not as advertised. That’s far more hurtful than being upfront from the jump.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'd say if you seriously need a different flavor, Observe the 100 mile rule, Make it a one off event, be safe (protected sex).

100 mile rule: outside of your social circle and out of town

One Off: One night stand or one weekend and never see them again. Take their number out of your phone

Safe Sex. No bringing home diseases or siring a kid.

Best way is the 21 legal brothels in Nevada. I seriously think it should be nationwide.

If you need to branch out more than once a year, you should really consider whether you should be in an LTR.

This sounds good. 100 mile rule. Other than work, what is the excuse to get that far away?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I have a bit more to offer I guess, I date women who are way out of my bracket financially, I have for the last 10 years, the thing for me more than anything is the will to ask questions... When you have it good enough, your will to ask diminishes greatly.

Ive said this before here on SS, but applies still.. One time my buddy told me that he would spend any extra money on his girlfriend and I laughed in his face, but I never considered why: he was eroding away her will to ask questions... For a price, he's got both ends of the equation simply willing to play a part. That isn't for me, but I get it.

 

[christie]

The vast amount of men do not cheat. They are hanging on to what they have. Divorce is severe punishment for men. Very severe.

Maintenance and child support can put you in a trailer park or sleeping on someone’s couch in a heartbeat.

Loyalty is more about ensuring the wife and kids survive and he gets acknowledgement for his hard work. Do not be fooled by the phrase...”Well men do it too!”

Social media is as damaging to men as it is for women. Just differently. If men left social media, women would become quite desperate. It would flip the world upside down. I haven’t been on social media in over five years. I don’t seem to be running out of a$$ to indulge in.

I believe you.

 

[Lookatu]

Social media is as damaging to men as it is for women. Just differently. If men left social media, women would become quite desperate. It would flip the world upside down.

^^^ Truth

As usual, men let things happen ultimately, then we b1tch and moan about it. If men stuck to social media to further their knowledge in various ways(information sharing of hobbies for example) and ignoring girls, instead of following girls stories and liking and commenting on them, we wouldn't be where we're at today.

 

[2Rocky]

This sounds good. 100 mile rule. Other than work, what is the excuse to get that far away?

Don't you have hobbies that you can pursue/compete at regional or national levels? Interests that have conventions in Vegas?

As a well rounded man you should have activities and interests you do for yourself that don't involve your mate.

That is regardless of whether you want to philander or not.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Do not judge.

You have gone through the motions, been at this game for years and finally found a good, healthy LTR.
But once in a while you crave another woman, yet at the same time have no interest in leaving your LTR.

How would you go about it, how are the rules different? How would you maneuver around bedding an occasional stray if you and your girl live together, or are so close that “pop ups” are now acceptable?

and I don’t wanna hear “don’t do it”, “a man keeps his word” or none of that white knight, Disney movie Prince Charming bs.

The side b!tch game only works if you're cool enough for your "main b!tch" to know about the side b!tch and tolerate it. Since you don't fall in that category (otherwise, you wouldn't be asking this question), it's probably not going to work for you.

 

[2Rocky]

The side b!tch game only works if you're cool enough for your "main b!tch" to know about the side b!tch and tolerate it. Since you don't fall in that category (otherwise, you wouldn't be asking this question), it's probably not going to work for you.

I see a regular "Side *****" is seldom going to be happy with that role for very long. Unless the guy is her "side guy".

A female friend of a friend is her guy's side ***** but he treats her like his main. The main acts like she doesn't give a damn as long as her guy keeps footing the bill for her trips out of town with "girlfriends"

None of the 3 are physically very high on the chart in attractiveness either.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I see a regular "Side *****" is seldom going to be happy with that role for very long. Unless the guy is her "side guy".

A female friend of a friend is her guy's side ***** but he treats her like his main. The main acts like she doesn't give a damn as long as her guy keeps footing the bill for her trips out of town with "girlfriends"

None of the 3 are physically very high on the chart in attractiveness either.

Usually aren't. Most people are average or below.

 

[In2theGame]

Im going to read through this thread because I totally understand where OP is coming from but I also feel he should state this to his Girlfriend. I went/going through the same thing and I flat out told my GF that I sexually desire other Women. Right now I play with the idea

I always stumble upon same thing whenever I'm in ltr. It's in our nature, craving for more women. You're current gf may be really hot but it's just a matter of time when the better looking girl will walk by.

If you're not living together it's very possible to get a side girl and bang her occasionally.

She doesnt even need to be better looking. It could be that she has different sized t!ts or different shaped nice ass or her sexy charisma. The key word is different. Having the same thing over and over again does get stale.

 

[Blacksheep]

Do not judge.

You have gone through the motions, been at this game for years and finally found a good, healthy LTR.
But once in a while you crave another woman, yet at the same time have no interest in leaving your LTR.

How would you go about it, how are the rules different? How would you maneuver around bedding an occasional stray if you and your girl live together, or are so close that “pop ups” are now acceptable?

and I don’t wanna hear “don’t do it”, “a man keeps his word” or none of that white knight, Disney movie Prince Charming bs.

The same way we want to bang another women, women wants and do the same.

Thats very simple, just know that you are responsible for your acts and that you have to be able to handle the consequences.

I dont like lies, but I realized that basically everyone lies so, I dont expect much from people. I just try to be honest with myself.

Maybe thats a good tip, be honest with yourself. Do you want that? Go and do it. Or are you afraid of leaving her because you dont wanna be alone? The only person you can never lie is to yourself. If you find out youre lying to yourself and finding excuses to do something you dont agree, then you need to re-evaluate it.

Would you be with your gf knowing that she is having sex with other guys? Even if you never found it?

If you are that cold to dont feel anything, you wont have problems with that situation.

Btw, just making some questions to you, so you can think about it. Not judging or asking this so you can reply me. Just take those questions to help you evaluate that situation, if any of what I said made any sense to you.

 

[In2theGame]

I'm still scrolling through this thread because I know how OP feels and I myself feel this way even though my GF has treated me very well aside from that one crazy episode where she thought I was trying to fvck her friend. (From my last thread about a Man being satisfied with one Woman).

Here's the thing I'm finding out myself... I cannot be satisfied sexually with one Woman however I don't want to hide that fact by having a secret side chick. I feel like it would just be too much of an unnecessary pain in the ass to hide and lie. Some Men are fine with just having their one Woman but I know there are many many Men who desire multiple Women for sexual variety.

Men want their main Woman who they actually care for and love but drilling the same hole for the rest of your life is a pretty terrifying thought.

 

[Lookatu]

Here's the thing I'm finding out myself... I cannot be satisfied sexually with one Woman however I don't want to hide that fact by having a secret side chick. I feel like it would just be too much of an unnecessary pain in the ass to hide and lie.

If you are this type, there are a couple angles you can try at the risk of losing your current girl. I know lot of guys have this issue.
1. If you act or show that you're depressed and you've been going out with your gal for awhile, she'll pick up on this. This will create a situation where you can start a dialogue about your depression. This is where you can talk about your feelings of being with other women. Some will be receptive to it and some will not. However they will know it is affecting you and it will give both of you a chance to either try something new or go your separate ways.

2. If you haven't been going out with your main girl for awhile and you feel like you need to move on with someone else yet are torn between breaking up or not. Break up with her first but give her your reasons for doing so. Sometimes if a girl really likes you, she will entertain continuing to see you(at whatever capacity you two agree to).

I've done both with previous plates and gf's and it's worked some times. Just note that there is a finite timeframe for this to last and it won't be forever.

I had my first RP moment when a gal I was seeing told me I could see others as long as I wore condoms with them. After a few of these moments, I really believed in the fact that women would rather share an Alpha rather than be monogamous with one Beta.

 

[In2theGame]

If you are this type, there are a couple angles you can try at the risk of losing your current girl. I know lot of guys have this issue.
1. If you act or show that you're depressed and you've been going out with your gal for awhile, she'll pick up on this. This will create a situation where you can start a dialogue about your depression. This is where you can talk about your feelings of being with other women. Some will be receptive to it and some will not. However they will know it is affecting you and it will give both of you a chance to either try something new or go your separate ways.

2. If you haven't been going out with your main girl for awhile and you feel like you need to move on with someone else yet are torn between breaking up or not. Break up with her first but give her your reasons for doing so. Sometimes if a girl really likes you, she will entertain continuing to see you(at whatever capacity you two agree to).

I've done both with previous plates and gf's and it's worked some times. Just note that there is a finite timeframe for this to last and it won't be forever.

I had my first RP moment when a gal I was seeing told me I could see others as long as I wore condoms with them. After a few of these moments, I really believed in the fact that women would rather share an Alpha rather than be monogamous with one Beta.

Good post. Appreciate the info man. Last week I was laying on the bed at her place and she kept trying to get sexual with me but I just wasn't interested. I was interested in looking at my Investments. I don't know but maybe I was just not in the mood but ultimately she got a a little frustrated and I told her that I was just not sexually aroused at the moment. Forget it, she went on about how Im not attracted to her and she feels bad now etc. then started crying. I did feel bad because I dont want my girlfriend to feel like this but ...... I just wasnt aroused.

 

[AttackFormation]

I'm still scrolling through this thread because I know how OP feels and I myself feel this way even though my GF has treated me very well aside from that one crazy episode where she thought I was trying to fvck her friend. (From my last thread about a Man being satisfied with one Woman).

Here's the thing I'm finding out myself... I cannot be satisfied sexually with one Woman however I don't want to hide that fact by having a secret side chick. I feel like it would just be too much of an unnecessary pain in the ass to hide and lie. Some Men are fine with just having their one Woman but I know there are many many Men who desire multiple Women for sexual variety.

Men want their main Woman who they actually care for and love but drilling the same hole for the rest of your life is a pretty terrifying thought.

Can't you just tell your girlfriend this stuff? I mean, why do random guys on the internet get to know this stuff, but you guys' girlfriends don't haha. I've never been in a relationship, but intuitively I feel that even having to hide this to "make it work" or whatever doesn't make sense. If you tell her then either you'll work forth a solution or it'll end somehow... both of those seem better to me than hiding things from each other just to maintain a purgatory of a relationship.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

This thread is bull****. If you want to see multiple women, there's absolutely NO NEED to ever lie about it and do it in the sneaky, unethical way you're advocating. Just be honest and upfront with women you meet that you're not looking for anything serious or monogamous, then you can pursue multiple women to your heart's content.

Doing it in the way you suggest is NOT the way to go about it and will just lead to unnecessary stress, as well as play on your conscience. A real man never needs to lie to women or about his romantic/sexual intentions, end of story

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

So, with a plate, if she asks what I did the other night, it’s advised for me to be honest and say that I was in a date with another girl?

You don't have to mention specifics about what you do with other girls - your plates won't appreciate that and you'll just end up shooting yourself in the foot. BUT - if you do want to play the field then you DO need to make that clear at the start with each plate to avoid unnecessary drama later on down the line.

I never understand why guys believe they have to lie to women or manipulate them. It's just better to be a real, honest and direct guy.