I'm reaching the same conclusion.
Some may argue against the need to game our LTR, but game, as I see it, is about establishing rapport and building/maintaining interest. If we can't maintain the interest and attraction that led to the LTR in the first place, the expiration date of it is sooner than later.
The point being that if game does not come easy to us, it's going to be a lot of deliberate effort put into one woman. In other words, we're naturally going to become invested to some degree and most men aren't mindful enough to know when they are starting to over-invest & emotionally compromise their game and also their ability to lead. Gradual over-investment happens as onenitus simultaneously creeps in. Frog in boiling water type of situation.
Falling in love (obsession) and developing onenitus blinds us, we subsequently lose both power and perspective. We almost need to be constantly detached, at least to the point where you can sustain a bird's eye view of the relationship indefinitely, in order to have that proper perspective to catch when the dynamic might be shifting in a undesirable way (assuming you want to stay in the LTR).
On the other hand, there's a different set of a problems that arise for us men who don't easily get attached, who can usually remain detached and less invested in the LTR than the girl at all times. One would think that a higher quality chick would eventually want her man to show that he is capable of displaying vulnerability, and to show through his actions more investment in her...to show that he's all in. If us men don't compromise to some degree at some point, this could negatively impact the relationship... But if we over-correct we run the risk of the problems already mentioned earlier...
Some form of a calibrated strategy is required to balance the apparent dichotomy, and thus, the constant need to game. And if the right game doesn't come naturally to us to some degree, we're operating at a disadvantage.
Most men seeking and entering LTRs are at that disadvantage.
I think this is the biggest learning gap in the manosphere and on Sosuave.
Over the years I've read a lot of posts from wise posters (and some dumb ones) saying that falling in love, developing crushes, feelings, and the like is the province of women, but not capital-M Men. Better to be detached for when the other shoe drops, or to keep her in "dread."
But those things (love, crushes) don't have to mean
obsession. It's framed that way around here because for so many former chumps, that's what it once meant. I see so many guys on SS self-flagellating because they got a crush on some chick or developed feelings. When what they could really be doing is enjoying these things for what they are and welcoming the challenge they bring to the self - how to handle it without compromising your interests.
Strategies don't work, IMO. Once you start strategizing, your relationship (plate or LTR) becomes a project, and you start investing in non-investment.
The only thing that has worked for me is:
Find your mission and follow it.
I can't stress this enough. Ninety-nine percent of everything else falls into place. I'm not saying you shouldn't think before you act, or seek advice. I'm just saying that all of the boogeymen that haunt Sosuave can be neutralized if you
Find your mission and follow it.
AMOGs, Chads, Dual Mating Strategies, being "cucked," wondering "how to play this," wondering if you should next, wondering if you should call her out, should you be nicer, should you commit...none of this shyt matters when you
Find your mission and follow it.
Heck, you can even take on a side bytch and have it all blow up in your face, but you'll be fine. (Circling back to the thread topic...I almost forgot.)