"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Not sexually interested in current LTR

Murk

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Is marriage in the long term cards or just LTR?
Yes marriage too, I told her some prenup might be in place and she is not bothered by that (green flag).
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Murk

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Just an FYI-divorce rate is significantly higher among couples that cohabitate prior to marriage.
Hmm that’s interesting. I feel we need the cohabitation to see if this can work, I’ve never lived with a gf before. I might get sick of her and not want this after 6 months.
 

EyeBRollin

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Hmm that’s interesting. I feel we need the cohabitation to see if this can work, I’ve never lived with a gf before. I might get sick of her and not want this after 6 months.
Are you looking to make things work or looking to get rid of her? Sounds like the latter…
 

Murk

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Are you looking to make things work or looking to get rid of her? Sounds like the latter…
I’m looking to see if my fear of commitment is pushing a good woman away, someone who I know I love.

Isn’t moving in like a litmus test of a relationship? Maybe deep down I’m just buying some extra time, I’m definitely open to going all the way with this though.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Bokanovsky

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If we were each others firsts and had a kid, would be different, but knowing where shes been and how much of a slut she used to be, makes me apathetic towards the relationship.

Sign of the times I guess...

Peace and live to all
Not a difficult choice.
 

Bokanovsky

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I was in the same position as you, and I’m the same age. However we were having sex and it was good I just found my ex facially not great sometimes, gorgeous others. I felt I could do better as a good looking 6’2 entrepreneur making good money, why settle for my 30+ year old LTR.

I had the tough convo where I said there’s no spark and “you’re not my happily ever after”. Hardest thing I’ve done, maybe I was too harsh. Anyway we kept seeing each other through covid lockdowns last year and ended up semi together without the title.

We broke up again in January mutually but kept in contact and having sex. Now she’s moving on I kind of feel I made a mistake and maybe should stop being so shallow as we have a great connection she’s my best friend and very feminine/loyal/submissive/traditional.

Its very confusing to always feel you can do better, my previously relationship was the same, didn’t really find my gf attractive, cheated on her, toxic and ended horribly.

It’s okay to settle with not a super model right?
She doesn't have to be a supermodel but you shouldn't feel like you could do much better either.
 

svencandy

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Thanks for the replies, good advice in here.
It's officially over. Guess I'll try to upload some field reports.

New relationship experience, it's a natural thing, for natural purposes.

Her negative attitude and treating those lower than her has always been there, but gets worse as she moves up the ladder.

Blinded by her looks I guess.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

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