No, he’s a victim of emotional abuse and beat down by it…
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
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You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Oh no he's not healthy. His Mom basically abandoned him when she ran off with her younger toyboy lover when he was around 10. He was always a quiet kid. Wouldn't say boo to to a goose kind of thing.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
You might think so, but....
I rest my case. The guy is a codependent wreck himself, and that's how they found each other.
So you obviously think young child abandonment by a mother doesn’t cause emotional abuse or injury…
He was abandoned by the mother and now wifey abandons him to go bang other men.
I call that emotional abuse…
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AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
Nah, I thought that he was already damaged before he met his wife and it wasn't the wife who turned him from hero to zero and codependence, and indeed that was the case.
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From what I understand it's his first relationship.
Yes his unhealthy codependence was started by the emotional damage done by the mother, and now he’s getting downright emotional abuse from his wife. Codependence always has a causative factor involved…
The seeds were sown in childhood and his wife watered them.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
I find it hard to have sympathy in these cases. You can't help someone who sabotages themselves knowingly.
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You call him codependent but don’t realize it has psychological implications and now you say he sabotages himself… smh
It’s like blaming a crippled person for not being able to walk correctly.
That's why I stay way out of it. Haven't seen him since he was 12 ish. He knows the score but also knows he won't see his kids again if he leaves her. She's already made that clear