No, he’s a victim of emotional abuse and beat down by it…
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Oh no he's not healthy. His Mom basically abandoned him when she ran off with her younger toyboy lover when he was around 10. He was always a quiet kid. Wouldn't say boo to to a goose kind of thing.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
You might think so, but....
I rest my case. The guy is a codependent wreck himself, and that's how they found each other.
So you obviously think young child abandonment by a mother doesn’t cause emotional abuse or injury…
He was abandoned by the mother and now wifey abandons him to go bang other men.
I call that emotional abuse…
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AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
Nah, I thought that he was already damaged before he met his wife and it wasn't the wife who turned him from hero to zero and codependence, and indeed that was the case.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
From what I understand it's his first relationship.
Yes his unhealthy codependence was started by the emotional damage done by the mother, and now he’s getting downright emotional abuse from his wife. Codependence always has a causative factor involved…
The seeds were sown in childhood and his wife watered them.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
I find it hard to have sympathy in these cases. You can't help someone who sabotages themselves knowingly.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You call him codependent but don’t realize it has psychological implications and now you say he sabotages himself… smh
It’s like blaming a crippled person for not being able to walk correctly.
That's why I stay way out of it. Haven't seen him since he was 12 ish. He knows the score but also knows he won't see his kids again if he leaves her. She's already made that clear