No, he’s a victim of emotional abuse and beat down by it…
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Oh no he's not healthy. His Mom basically abandoned him when she ran off with her younger toyboy lover when he was around 10. He was always a quiet kid. Wouldn't say boo to to a goose kind of thing.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
You might think so, but....
I rest my case. The guy is a codependent wreck himself, and that's how they found each other.
So you obviously think young child abandonment by a mother doesn’t cause emotional abuse or injury…
He was abandoned by the mother and now wifey abandons him to go bang other men.
I call that emotional abuse…
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AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
Nah, I thought that he was already damaged before he met his wife and it wasn't the wife who turned him from hero to zero and codependence, and indeed that was the case.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
From what I understand it's his first relationship.
Yes his unhealthy codependence was started by the emotional damage done by the mother, and now he’s getting downright emotional abuse from his wife. Codependence always has a causative factor involved…
The seeds were sown in childhood and his wife watered them.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
I find it hard to have sympathy in these cases. You can't help someone who sabotages themselves knowingly.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
You call him codependent but don’t realize it has psychological implications and now you say he sabotages himself… smh
It’s like blaming a crippled person for not being able to walk correctly.
That's why I stay way out of it. Haven't seen him since he was 12 ish. He knows the score but also knows he won't see his kids again if he leaves her. She's already made that clear