"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Feel Free To Criticize My Texting Game

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Plinco

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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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BPH

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Maybe it's because I'm not as needy as you are.
Dude...you've been hand-delivered a woman more than a decade younger than you who is basically offering herself on a platter to you...and you disqualify her because you want to dance...

Like, what are we doing here? Is this SoSuave or SoSalsa?
 

Sega Genesis

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I’m beginning to believe Plinco has Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. It fits when reading his posts.
Could be but also could be since his divorce some sort of fear of intimacy including sexual intimacy.

I mean no disrespect @Plinco but your reasoning sounds like a bunch of excuses and very poor ones. A lot of assumptions and you had never even met her and barely talked with her!

I didn't view her texts as "too mature" in fact they were quite playful and flirty!

I also didn't view her as "coming on too strong," this is avoidance on your part but why?

What are you afraid of? Do you even know?
 
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Could be but also could be since his divorce some sort of fear of intimacy including sexual intimacy.

I mean no disrespect @Plinco but your reasoning sounds like a bunch of excuses and very poor ones. A lot of assumptions and you had never even met her!

I didn't view her texts as "too mature" in fact they were quite playful and flirty!

I also didn't view her as "coming on too strong," this is avoidance on your part but why?

What are you afraid of? Do you even know?
One of the traits of Borderline Personality Disorder is a distorted sense of reality. We all agree this girl wants him but he doesn't see it that way and it’s driving us up a wall. We’ve all been following his journey and he’s been consistently detached from reality. Case closed you guys.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Sega Genesis

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We all agree this girl wants him but he doesn't see it that way
^I think he does see it, that's the problem! He sees it but he fears it, he is afraid of it. He talks a good game but when faced with the reality of it versus the fantasy, he looks for BS excuses to avoid it.

I mean seriously, to reject a compliant woman, 12 years younger, attractive (a 6 is decently attractive to most men) pretty much a sure thing because she wanted to have a drink instead of going dancing?

Really dude? Come on now. :rolleyes:
 
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For me she's somewhat attractive but through this conversation I feel like I'm being treated like an object.
This part here makes me believe he does have BPD. The conversation seemed fine and he somehow thinks he’s being treated like an object? Wtf? He’s delusional.
 
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He talks a good game but when faced with the reality of it versus the fantasy, he looks for BS excuses to avoid it.
Exactly what I said earlier about distorted reality of people with BPD. When faced with reality of it versus fantasy…. He doesn’t live in reality.
 

Plinco

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^I think he does see it, that's the problem! He sees it but he fears it, he is afraid of it. He talks a good game but when faced with the reality of it versus the fantasy, he looks for BS excuses to avoid it.
If that's true, then why did I have no problem getting intimate with this girl?


Maybe it's because I have to like the girl first. Right?

I mean seriously, to reject a compliant woman, 12 years younger, attractive (a 6 is decently attractive to most men) pretty much a sure thing because she wanted to have a drink instead of going dancing?

Really dude? Come on now. :rolleyes:
That doesn't make her entitled to have me. Everyone has their preferences and I generally like my women a lot younger than her.


I’m beginning to believe Plinco has Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. It fits when reading his posts.

Imagine having inner game so tight that it spins some of you people's hamster wheels. Has it occurred to you (or any of you) that I'm not as needy as you are and labeling me is your ego defense at work?
 

Sega Genesis

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@Plinco I didn't see the earlier thread about banging a girl half your age for 10 seconds at her family's home (no judgment about that you're entitled to prefer young girls as long as they're of legal age).

However with this girl, your reasoning/excuses were quite bizarre given you had never met her or barely spoke with her.

Like her wanting a drink instead of dancing? You gotta know that was a silly excuse along with the others (i.e. sounding "too mature?). Dude you are 42, and she didn't even, her messages were flirty and playful like a young girl.

Ok you didn't find her pictures attractive enough, she was a 6? That's fair but initially you showed interest in meeting her, you even double texted about getting together!

Why do that if you didn't find her pictures attractive?

I dunno it just seemed in this instance like you were ruining away (avoiding) versus wanting to move towards by at least meeting the girl, something low key and light.

Pictures don't always tell the whole story, you might have met and found her more attractive in person and her energy intriguing. Especially considering you're not exactly swimming with options.

It just seemed like you avoided when it became real (after showing interest when it was fantasy), that's why I posted what I did.

Just sounds really off to me, that's all but good luck!
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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BackInTheGame78

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@Plinco I didn't see the earlier thread about banging a girl half your age for 10 seconds at her family's home (no judgment about that you're entitled to prefer young girls as long as they're of legal age).

However with this girl, your reasoning/excuses were quite bizarre given you had never met her or barely spoke with her.

Like her wanting a drink instead of dancing? You gotta know that was a silly excuse along with the others (i.e. sounding "too mature?). Dude you are 42, and she didn't even, her messages were flirty and playful like a young girl.

Ok you didn't find her pictures attractive enough, she was a 6? That's fair but initially you showed interest in meeting her, you even double texted about getting together!

Why do that if you didn't find her pictures attractive?

I dunno it just seemed in this instance like you were ruining away (avoiding) versus wanting to move towards by at least meeting the girl, something low key and light.

Pictures don't always tell the whole story, you might have met and found her more attractive in person and her energy intriguing. Especially considering you're not exactly swimming with options.

It just seemed like you avoided when it became real (after showing interest when it was fantasy), that's why I posted what I did.

Just sounds really off to me, that's all but good luck!

Example of why I find it so easy to meet women on OLD, this is what they deal with routinely. Also probably explains why they thank me for being "normal" so often :lol:
 
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Imagine having inner game so tight that it spins some of you people's hamster wheels. Has it occurred to you (or any of you) that I'm not as needy as you are and labeling me is your ego defense at work?
I’ve unfortunately grown up around people with Borderline Personality Disorder and have learned how to spot it. It took me longer with you since this was online. Again, accusing BPH and I of being needy? Delusional.
 
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Plinco

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I’ve unfortunately grown up around people with Borderline Personality Disorder and have learned how to spot it. It took me longer with you since this was online. Again, accusing BPH and I of being needy? Delusional.
Even professional psychiatrists are not supposed to diagnose someone from afar, let alone from an internet forum. This is also not the first time you've slandered me to discredit me, or covertly tried to convince me to do something that was against my interest. I've hardly called you out on it because I don't take you (and most of the people here) seriously.

I know a thing or two about BPH that you don't. Since I've face timed with him, I've seen that he has some issues going on that you wouldn't easily see here. Yes, he has a neediness problem.
 

Plinco

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@Plinco I didn't see the earlier thread about banging a girl half your age for 10 seconds at her family's home (no judgment about that you're entitled to prefer young girls as long as they're of legal age).

However with this girl, your reasoning/excuses were quite bizarre given you had never met her or barely spoke with her.

Like her wanting a drink instead of dancing? You gotta know that was a silly excuse along with the others (i.e. sounding "too mature?). Dude you are 42, and she didn't even, her messages were flirty and playful like a young girl.

Ok you didn't find her pictures attractive enough, she was a 6? That's fair but initially you showed interest in meeting her, you even double texted about getting together!

Why do that if you didn't find her pictures attractive?

I dunno it just seemed in this instance like you were ruining away (avoiding) versus wanting to move towards by at least meeting the girl, something low key and light.

I was on the cusp of wanting to bang this girl, but I've seen enough evidence that it wasn't worth it for me to go for it.

Pictures don't always tell the whole story, you might have met and found her more attractive in person and her energy intriguing. Especially considering you're not exactly swimming with options.
What makes you think I don't have options ;)
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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BPH

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I know a thing or two about BPH that you don't. Since I've face timed with him, I've seen that he has some issues going on that you wouldn't easily see here. Yes, he has a neediness problem.
I've tried to be patient with you when it comes to giving advice, but if you're gonna be like that and make jabs without even tagging me or replying, ok, let's talk about it...

What makes you think I don't have options ;)
You don't.

Before you "slept" with the one girl at her mom's house for 10 seconds, you hadn't been with a woman for more than a year. You are the most difficult client I've worked with, and I've worked with you significantly longer than anybody else.

You know why? The same reason this stupid a** thread has gone on for 11 pages (and continues); you do not listen.

People who have what you (supposedly) want, who you're asking for help, are giving you advice, and you routinely do not take it. Why that is, I do not know.

You throw around this "young at heart" bullsh** as if that's some magical excuse for being incompetent. Then, when you start making improvements and seeing success and women start wanting you, you're deciding they aren't worth your time because they'd rather f*** you than do this salsa ballroom mambo number 5 bullsh**...

This whole thread is ridiculous, and I hope none of the younger guys follow your example.

EDIT: My "neediness" problem is that I get a little outcome-dependent when I haven't been with anybody new in a while. My "problem" is not even in the same universe as your problems.
 

Plinco

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I've tried to be patient with you when it comes to giving advice, but if you're gonna be like that and make jabs without even tagging me or replying, ok, let's talk about it...
You asked me not to tag you. You want me to start tagging you again?

When we did our second face time call, I asked you what were your goals with women. You said that you wanted to sleep with a lot of women. When I pressed you on why that is, you couldn't give me a straight answer.

Another time I asked you what was your vision for your coaching business, and what makes you passionate about what your doing. Again, couldn't give me a straight answer. You thought about it and tried to answer on the spot; obviously this is something you didn't ask yourself before.

I don't think you're stupid. I think you should do some more self-reflection and some journaling.

As far as the neediness goes, I've seen and heard several times or more that you prioritize sleeping with women than doing things like making friends or having a sense of integrity. Again, my suggestion is to do some self-reflection.

You don't.
I do

You know why? The same reason this stupid a** thread has gone on for 11 pages (and continues); you do not listen.
How about I make it 30 pages just to p!ss you off


I understand that you don't like me personally, and that's okay. That doesn't mean that I'm not someone you can learn from.
 

BPH

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You asked me not to tag you. You want me to start tagging you again?
I asked you not to tag me if you're not going to listen to me when I come and reply. But what you did was throw a jab there, essentially to say, "trust me, he has problems".

When we did our second face time call, I asked you what were your goals with women. You said that you wanted to sleep with a lot of women. When I pressed you on why that is, you couldn't give me a straight answer.
You didn't "press" me...I've said time and time again on this forum that I like to sleep with a lot of women because I enjoy the variety without the attachments, difficulties, and obligations of a relationship.

Another time I asked you what was your vision for your coaching business, and what makes you passionate about what your doing. Again, couldn't give me a straight answer. You thought about it and tried to answer on the spot; obviously this is something you didn't ask yourself before.
Same thing here. I told you I wanted to help guys who don't have the proper guidance so they wouldn't have to figure it out on their own, the way I had to. You "pressed" me because I guess that wasn't a good enough answer for YOU. You seem to believe I need to have a grand vision, as if I'm going on a crusade to change the world.

Do you have a grand vision for your lawn business? Are you going to revolutionize the way your mowers cut grass? You think everything has to be deeper than it really is - as evidenced by your unwillingness to go on a date with a woman who wants to sleep with you because you want to dance...

As far as the neediness goes, I've seen and heard several times or more that you prioritize sleeping with women than doing things like making friends or having a sense of integrity. Again, my suggestion is to do some self-reflection.

I have a few good ones; I don't need more. I have no idea what you're talking about in terms of integrity.

I understand that you don't like me personally, and that's okay. That doesn't mean that I'm not someone you can learn from.
I don't dislike you personally, but you are an extremely frustrating individual. You supposedly want success with women, but when it's given to you, you'd rather dance...

If there's anything to learn from you, it's what NOT to do...
 

BillyPilgrim

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I asked you not to tag me if you're not going to listen to me when I come and reply. But what you did was throw a jab there, essentially to say, "trust me, he has problems".



You didn't "press" me...I've said time and time again on this forum that I like to sleep with a lot of women because I enjoy the variety without the attachments, difficulties, and obligations of a relationship.



Same thing here. I told you I wanted to help guys who don't have the proper guidance so they wouldn't have to figure it out on their own, the way I had to. You "pressed" me because I guess that wasn't a good enough answer for YOU. You seem to believe I need to have a grand vision, as if I'm going on a crusade to change the world.

Do you have a grand vision for your lawn business? Are you going to revolutionize the way your mowers cut grass? You think everything has to be deeper than it really is - as evidenced by your unwillingness to go on a date with a woman who wants to sleep with you because you want to dance...




I have a few good ones; I don't need more. I have no idea what you're talking about in terms of integrity.



I don't dislike you personally, but you are an extremely frustrating individual. You supposedly want success with women, but when it's given to you, you'd rather dance...

If there's anything to learn from you, it's what NOT to do...
He's only dancing. Don't tell John though.

 
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Even professional psychiatrists are not supposed to diagnose someone from afar, let alone from an internet forum.
As an armchair psychologist, I can say with 100% certainty that you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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