Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Dude...you've been hand-delivered a woman more than a decade younger than you who is basically offering herself on a platter to you...and you disqualify her because you want to dance...
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Could be but also could be since his divorce some sort of fear of intimacy including sexual intimacy.
One of the traits of Borderline Personality Disorder is a distorted sense of reality. We all agree this girl wants him but he doesn't see it that way and it’s driving us up a wall. We’ve all been following his journey and he’s been consistently detached from reality. Case closed you guys.
^I think he does see it, that's the problem! He sees it but he fears it, he is afraid of it. He talks a good game but when faced with the reality of it versus the fantasy, he looks for BS excuses to avoid it.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
This part here makes me believe he does have BPD. The conversation seemed fine and he somehow thinks he’s being treated like an object? Wtf? He’s delusional.
Exactly what I said earlier about distorted reality of people with BPD. When faced with reality of it versus fantasy…. He doesn’t live in reality.
If that's true, then why did I have no problem getting intimate with this girl?
www.sosuave.net
That doesn't make her entitled to have me. Everyone has their preferences and I generally like my women a lot younger than her.I mean seriously, to reject a compliant woman, 12 years younger, attractive (a 6 is decently attractive to most men) pretty much a sure thing because she wanted to have a drink instead of going dancing?
Really dude? Come on now.
She could treat me like an object and I would make sure she chokes on my object
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I’ve unfortunately grown up around people with Borderline Personality Disorder and have learned how to spot it. It took me longer with you since this was online. Again, accusing BPH and I of being needy? Delusional.
Even professional psychiatrists are not supposed to diagnose someone from afar, let alone from an internet forum. This is also not the first time you've slandered me to discredit me, or covertly tried to convince me to do something that was against my interest. I've hardly called you out on it because I don't take you (and most of the people here) seriously.
What makes you think I don't have options
I've tried to be patient with you when it comes to giving advice, but if you're gonna be like that and make jabs without even tagging me or replying, ok, let's talk about it...
You don't.What makes you think I don't have options
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You asked me not to tag you. You want me to start tagging you again?
I do
How about I make it 30 pages just to p!ss you off
I asked you not to tag me if you're not going to listen to me when I come and reply. But what you did was throw a jab there, essentially to say, "trust me, he has problems".
You didn't "press" me...I've said time and time again on this forum that I like to sleep with a lot of women because I enjoy the variety without the attachments, difficulties, and obligations of a relationship.
Same thing here. I told you I wanted to help guys who don't have the proper guidance so they wouldn't have to figure it out on their own, the way I had to. You "pressed" me because I guess that wasn't a good enough answer for YOU. You seem to believe I need to have a grand vision, as if I'm going on a crusade to change the world.
I don't dislike you personally, but you are an extremely frustrating individual. You supposedly want success with women, but when it's given to you, you'd rather dance...
As an armchair psychologist, I can say with 100% certainty that you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
After getting a divorce with a woman who had been living with me for four years, I'd been out of the game for that long. I was under a lot of stress after COVID because I had almost lost everything that I worked for up until then. I had been out of the game for years and forgotten how to even talk to people. To make things more challenging, I no longer had a friend circle and lost my youthful appearance. My success with women before then had a lot to do with my situation that I no longer have. I had to learn everything learn (and still learning) everything from the ground up. You mentioned that passing your knowledge on how to be good with women was your motivation for your coaching business; I learned a few things from you too. However learning from basically scratch has been a blessing is disguise.
I've said on this forum that you teach people how to treat you. This level of disrespect I get from you is my fault. I've talked a little bit with you but as you can see I didn't make this clear enough. I think I've slandered you once that I can think of, which was after you said this. How many times have you talked to me like this? At least a few.
What I was looking for was a level of self-understanding and this level of honesty:
For example,
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.