"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Did I Play This Right?
- Thread starter foolyoufool
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
foolyoufool
Don Juan
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Yeah man this is too much I'm not contacting her unless she reaches out at this point.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Remember they are supposed to be chasing YOU!
Masculinity
Master Don Juan
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What I would have said:
me: Where were ur parties?
her: All in ---
her: If I had known you didn't go last night, I would have invited you too
her: I'm glad you had fun
me: you just wanted to get me drunk and try to get lucky with me but thanks for the thought
her: I don't need to get you drunk to have you want to sleep with me
her: but no worries lmao
me: I wouldn't be so sure
her: Well I guess I can never be 100 percent sure but the majority of guys will sleep with a girl even if they don't like her
her: So
me: Wow you have a pretty messed up view of guys
her: I know a lot of guys who have straight up told me that was the case
me: Sounds like you're getting an upgrade with me ; ]
her: Not even guys I dated, but just guys I've talked to as friends
her: So you wouldn't sleep with me then?
me: Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how you play your cards.
her: Wow Okay
me: I like to take things slow
her: Okay
me: I want to see you again soon
her: I'm busy the next 12 days working
her: but after that I'm free
me: Mmm...probably won't work out. You're busy. I totally understand. When you're ready, you know where to find me. If my schedule allows, maybe we'll hangout.
PS: Good job on the "maybe, maybe not" response to her asking if you would want to sleep with her. That was gold.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
foolyoufool
Don Juan
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- Feb 9, 2012
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- 4
Thanks, I love the last line of yours. "When you are ready, you know where to find me." I'm not so sure that "maybe, maybe not" was the right move because she felt like I rejected her, but I wanted to play it mysterious and not so predictable. Gotta calibrate for each different girl is my theory.