Why do I not find my wife attractive?

[Plinco]

I'm going to do what I am going to do. If it doesn't work it doesn't work; lesson to me and everyone else here.

 

[TheCharmingGuy]

Well if you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do then why did you ask for advice online lol

 

[FuzzX]

I'm not understanding what this relationship was based on. What country are you guys from? Did she need a green card or something?

I'm assuming you're Japanese because of your handle or is that to do with the Price is Right?

I'm very much interested in the thought process here and what the catalyst was. I slept with my wife on the third date I believe. I didn't marry her till like 3 years later. Sex is a religious experience.

I can understand if she was rich, or you are a Chinese guy because of the competition. What other factors would cause you to do something like this? Were you guys close friends?

I'm going to do what I am going to do. If it doesn't work it doesn't work; lesson to me and everyone else here.

This sounds nefarious.

 

[Plinco]

I'm not understanding what this relationship was based on. What country are you guys from? Did she need a green card or something?

I'm assuming you're Japanese because of your handle or is that to do with the Price is Right?

I'm very much interested in the thought process here and what the catalyst was. I slept with my wife on the third date I believe. I didn't marry her till like 3 years later.



This sounds nefarious.

haha That's exactly it The Price is Right, except they spell it "Plinko"

I thought I described everything in the thread so far.

 

[FuzzX]

No, I've been over the entire thread thrice. My wife and I are both interested in this. How long have you been married and what possessed you and her to do this? IF you did get married, what was the wedding like? How much did you spend, how much debt was incurred? Were your family's know to one another? What do her parents do? What religion is this?

 

[metalwater]

you have 600+ mssg so you have read and know most of the stuff already.

maybe she is a unicorn and will(can not) come alive with you until she feels the spark from you. your spark is out because you don't recognize the lust from her. she doesn't have it yet.

just saying, IMHO she is decent-looking.

photos of your exes are very different than her. maybe you see her as innocent and don't want to take her because.. (just an idea)

if you still excited for other women and just not for her then it's mental, not physical.

part of taking care of her is giving to her physically and in spirit. don't just take her, join with her.
if you have time and have not ever seen it check out the book by david deida the way of the superior man.

not sure where you are on your journey, but this could be the most exciting and fulfilling thing you have ever done. know deep she is not an Angel, she is a woman with all the energy and then some that the past ones you know had.

look for the spiritual connection with her, and grow it from that.

if can not find it, cut her free.

 

[Plinco]

No, I've been over the entire thread thrice. My wife and I are both interested in this. How long have you been married and what possessed you and her to do this? IF you did get married, what was the wedding like? How much did you spend, how much debt was incurred? Were your family's know to one another? What do her parents do? What religion is this?

This is going to sound both pretty bad, but also good in a way too.

Let me explain the background in another way. I deliberately formed a relationship with a woman who was different from women that I have been with in the past, after coming to the conclusion that the women that I had been with would not be good mothers. So I went out and found a woman who was the opposite in character, but still compatible with our personalities (in other words, boring). I discovered that after banging slvts all my life that I don't feel sexually aroused with a boring woman, thus I'm having the problem that you see in this thread.

The wedding? Well it was during the peak of the rona and my grandparents did not want to be in a gathering of people, so we got married in a court house with the understanding that we will have a wedding ceremony in the future, but two months later I lost my job due the the rona shutdown and after being insulted with low paying job opportunities (and I mean big difference between what I was getting paid and what was being offered during the shutdown), I decided to go into business for myself. So there has been now wedding, no honeymoon, my family did not meet her family. Sounds sh!*y but then again I'm not in debt either.

 

[Plinco]

you have 600+ mssg so you have read and know most of the stuff already.

maybe she is a unicorn and will(can not) come alive with you until she feels the spark from you. your spark is out because you don't recognize the lust from her. she doesn't have it yet.

just saying, IMHO she is decent-looking.

photos of your exes are very different than her. maybe you see her as innocent and don't want to take her because.. (just an idea)

if you still excited for other women and just not for her then it's mental, not physical.

part of taking care of her is giving to her physically and in spirit. don't just take her, join with her.
if you have time and have not ever seen it check out the book by david deida the way of the superior man.

not sure where you are on your journey, but this could be the most exciting and fulfilling thing you have ever done. know deep she is not an Angel, she is a woman with all the energy and then some that the past ones you know had.

look for the spiritual connection with her, and grow it from that.

if can not find it, cut her free.

appreciate the advice, but I don't have time to read a book right now.

 

[FuzzX]

Well if you don't intend to have sex and she's not interesting to you, I would say go to the court house and get a divorce ASAP. It sounds like you just made a really big mistake. I have a feeling, I know where you are coming from. I had to re-wire my brain aswell. I much preferred the bad chicks who treated me like crap and I had to work hard to get their approval etc etc. Then I realized that I was feeding into the Western programming which told me that I need to be dating princesses and pieces of sh1t. I started dating submissive women and by the time I got to my wife, I didn't need any game at all. It felt like this skillset went completely un-used, and so it should. It's like buying a machine gun and getting trained for a war that never happens. You still 'want' to use that, but you realize that war is a terrible thing for all involved.

If you want to take the blue pill and eat the steak, well, nobody is going to fault you for that, it's your default programming. Just know that in a couple of years, you'll end up with nothing and probably be facing divorce rape of all funds and your business. [I wouldn't be concerned with money], but that's how modern women roll. A trad woman is there to be your partner, she is not a slvt or a piece of garbage, so let her find a man that can make use of her talents. I'm not trying to insult you but realistically, you'll either stay and die single or you get married, suppress those urges and move on into other avenues (I have 101 hobbies) as a result. I have a TON of free time because I don't need to sleep with one eye open anymore and sex doesn't cloud my thoughts.

I dont think those are good pictures, I bet your wife is very pretty in a short skirt... throw some nerd glasses on her.

 

[Lookatu]

I discovered that after banging slvts all my life that I don't feel sexually aroused with a boring woman, thus I'm having the problem that you see in this thread.

This is VERY important for all the young players here that eventually wanna get married or get into a serious LTR.

We often talk about girls that has slept around a lot having pair bonding issues. Well for guys that sleep around a lot, I would say they might have potential sex bonding issues in a LTR/marriage situation. I see it all the time.

As they say, you can turn a housewife into a ho, but you can't turn a ho into a housewife.

OP, if you're not willing or able to turn your housewife into a ho then I'm afraid it's best that you split.

Have you talked to her about it and is she just not sexual(low libido) or just inexperienced? If the latter, it's fully on you.

 

[Plinco]

This is VERY important for all the young players here that eventually wanna get married or get into a serious LTR.

We often talk about girls that has slept around a lot having pair bonding issues. Well for guys that sleep around a lot, I would say they might have potential sex bonding issues in a LTR/marriage situation. I see it all the time.

As they say, you can turn a housewife into a ho, but you can't turn a ho into a housewife.

OP, if you're not willing or able to turn your housewife into a ho then I'm afraid it's best that you split.

Have you talked to her about it and is she just not sexual(low libido) or just inexperienced? If the latter, it's fully on you.

Yes, 100% as I am learning the hard way now.

It's a little on her, but I think it's mostly on me to make a change in the way I operate, to an extent.

 

[Plinco]

Bump

I have failed so far, but not giving up just yet.

One common thing she complains about is that I don't support her enough emotionally. The problem is, that I am not at all an emotional guy.

When I go to do things my way, and act more in a way that is natural to me, which is being more aggressive, which she does not like.

I can give it more tries, but I'm afraid it is not looking good.

 

[Plinco]

Rich Cooper usually says that men love to complicate their lives and rationalize why they do it. This is what this feels like.
Why on earth did you give your ultimate, life changing commitment to a woman who didn't meet your basic needs? Because sex is a basic need for all men. This is not to point fingers, it's a valid question. I'm assuming you dated and vetted her for a while before you gave her the ring.
I've experienced the same. In my earlier blue pill days i had a hot gf that i wasn't really sexually craving and it was because of her personality, demands and off-putting behavior. It took a while for me to realise but behavior can make you turn your head away from an otherwise attractive woman.
This unfortunately only has one solution since your feelings for her will never change. Divorce her for both of your sake and never make the same mistake again. You can't be living like this. A woman absolutely needs to pass the boner test, that is fundamental.

I get it. You're like me, you're analytical, try to dissect everything and look for answers to why this is, which is good to a certain point. But desire is pretty simple and basic and we can clearly see that your desire for her was never there from the beginning. I'm not for dissolving an established marriage but somewhere you've to see the situation you're in for what it is and cut your losses.

She met a checklist, and I looked at the situation as an obligation. Then I thought the only thing I have to do now is find her sexually attractive, which shouldn't be hard because she is good looking 'on paper.'

 

[bat soup]

She met a checklist, and I looked at the situation as an obligation. Then I thought the only thing I have to do now is find her sexually attractive, which shouldn't be hard because she is good looking 'on paper.'

What you need to do is get some sheets of A3 paper and put it on the bed.

 

[Plinco]

What you need to do is get some sheets of A3 paper and put it on the bed.

nah that wouldn't work either haha

 

[bat soup]

nah that wouldn't work either haha

I think the best thing to do would be to admit that you made a mistake and get divorced. It's better to do that now, rather than continue making bad decisions that will make you miserable for the rest of your life, such as getting her pregnant and mixing your assets.

Now it's hard to do, maybe, but if you're not ready for that yet then I'd suggest taking a trip somewhere alone so that you can clear your head and think about it.

 

[jimwho]

Maybe stop being so serious about the situation. Fix it, bring her coffee in the morning in bed. Makes you feel good and she will too. Go on dates. People need to like each other to have fun in the sack.

 

[Plinco]

Maybe stop being so serious about the situation. Fix it, bring her coffee in the morning in bed. Makes you feel good and she will too. Go on dates. People need to like each other to have fun in the sack.

I don't think that will do it. Tried things like that already. Having fun does not make me attracted to her physically.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

This is her

She looks like an innocent highschool girl.

That wouldnt be my type either. Leaving the still obvious question aside (WHY THE HELL DID YOU MARRY HER?!), the good news are, she is not ugly..... so a type change/change of style might fix a lot on her looks.

 

[Plinco]

She looks like an innocent highschool girl.

That wouldnt be my type either. Leaving the still obvious question aside (WHY THE HELL DID YOU MARRY HER?!), the good news are, she is not ugly..... so a type change/change of style might fix a lot on her looks.

Yes, objectively her looks is not the problem.