Why do I not find my wife attractive?

[mrgoodstuff]

I mean if you had real confidence in your deck game you'd know these things.

d1ck game

 

[Plinco]

Okay, so I figured it out and in essence this is the issue:

What I drew out on 'paper' for the kind of girl I was looking out for did not reflect who I truly was, but what would work statistically for the sake of having children. I was not aware that I was lying to myself this whole relationship that I had with her until I realized that I do not at all find her sexually attractive. In order to find her attractive, I need to change my inner convictions.

Once someone is red-pilled, one can only change one's convictions toward rationality. In other words, one can only become more rational in changing or identifying oneself.

There's no way I can change my convictions in a rational manner in such a way to find her attractive. Therefore I'm afraid that divorce is inevitable

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Pic of said 'unattractive ' wife?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I just realized something. The added pressure and stress of her demands and wanting a family that I am not ready to have is what makes me not want to have sex with her. Whenever I get angry or stressed out I don't feel sexual.

Sounds like accidentally on purpose pregnancy waiting to happen.

 

[Plinco]

Pic of said 'unattractive ' wife?

Why do I not find my wife attractive?

I'm going to do what I am going to do. If it doesn't work it doesn't work; lesson to me and everyone else here.

www.sosuave.net

 

[Plinco]

Sounds like accidentally on purpose pregnancy waiting to happen.

Except I don't feel like having sex with her

 

[Plinco]

Update:

she is trying hard to convince me to stay with her. Trying to convince me that love does not necessarily equal sex.

 

[Solomon]

The problem was, that the physical attraction wasn't there to begin with. She is compatible in terms of our personalities, but not in a sexual way. If I could find her attractive physically, that would be great, otherwise she is more of a maid in my house.

Why the heck would you get married to a woman you're not sexually attracted too? did you think "in time" you would?

Sorry OP don't feel sorry for you, you put yourself in this predicament

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Gotta be a troll

 

[Zimbabwe]

She's not that bad looking, more of a plain Jane. It doesn't help that she dresses like an old lady and wears no makeup.

I think the OP is just used to dating a certain type of woman, and married this one only because she was a traditional Christian.

I get it OP, you feel guilty about potentially leaving her.

 

[Plinco]

She's not that bad looking, more of a plain Jane. It doesn't help that she dresses like an old lady and wears no makeup.

I think the OP is just used to dating a certain type of woman, and married this one only because she was a traditional Christian.

I get it OP, you feel guilty about potentially leaving her.

You hit it right on the nail

 

[Plinco]

Update: I've been talking to her about everything that I have been thinking and she's getting the realization that I'm probably going to end up leaving her. She's been begging me to stay with her

 

[Plinco]

This whole thread is bizzare.

I agree, troll

I'm not a troll

Edit:

If you are serious about making an accusation then prove it.

 

[Plinco]

You’re confusing a forum with an academic discussion.

I should not have to prove that I'm not a troll

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Been married for over a year and have not had sex, not because she didn't want it, but because I did not want to do it with her.

Why did you marry her in the first place?

You only been married for only a year - you must have ignored some pretty big red flags and still married her even though you knew you were not really sexually attracted to her, right?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

This is what this feels like.
Why on earth did you give your ultimate, life changing commitment to a woman who didn't meet your basic needs? Because sex is a basic need for all men.

Simp 2.0?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

she is trying hard to convince me to stay with her. Trying to convince me that love does not necessarily equal sex.

The only reason women and men connect and interact is primarily because of sex. trying claim anything else is simply being delirious.

Women and men are very different and we do not naturally have the same interests so without sex there would be no reason to interact with each other..

Women sit down and talk and share their feelings, create drama (which creates more feelings) and this is way they bond with each other and form relationships. They are less logical beings and very much the prisoners of their social life.

We guys we do fun shi't together like playing football, basketball or riding mountain bikes (or whatever)and bond that way.
Less talking, more doing. We do not sit around and share out feelings because we are rational logical beings and emotions means less to us.

Give me one reason we would talk to women if it wasn't for the sex?
(No need to answer that because we all already know it).

 

[Plinco]

Simp 2.0?

I'm not a simp, I made a stupid decision

 

[rockeyyyadav]

I don't find my wife sexually attractive. Been married for over a year and have not had sex, not because she didn't want it, but because I did not want to do it with her. There's nothing wrong with the way she looks, but she does not have any confidence in the way she looks (body issues) and I think this is the root of it.
Here are some observations:

Observations of what and possibly why I am attracted to:

• Strong, but submissive libidos. Or they may be aggressive and sexualized, but the relationship does not last long.
• Brunettes who appear to be “smarter and healthier” maybe appear more confident and high energy.
• They have been mostly young, but some are in their 30’s. Most have been brunettes, but some blondes.
• Young, pretty, and confident, but also submissive in bed.
• Girls who appear to be high maintenance. Perhaps as a sign of high value, high confidence (respect ~ sex).
• I look at obtaining women as a symptom of self-improvement, and if I stay with her, then I will not self-improve (?)

Observations of my relationship with her, and possible causes:

• She is socially awkward and has body image issues, the girls I was with before didn’t have that problem.
• The relationship makes demands from me that I view as aggressive toward me, such as getting emotionally involved, to slow down, giving into demands that are not a part of my goals. She is emotionally involved because she cares more about me, which I am not used to.
• She is boring when she talks to me. Probably because she sits at home all day, and has few friends.
• During attempted sex, she does not feel aroused enough by my actions. Probably because I don’t act in a way that I find her attractive.

Possible root causes:

My libido draws from my core values, but does not match with my expected values, that is, living aggressively. My libido corresponds with my ambitions.



I have to see her as sexualized (confident with her body), submissive in bed, not getting in my way. I expect a woman to be turned on sexually by me being aggressive.

thank for give some information

 

[jimwho]

Give me one reason we would talk to women if it wasn't for the sex?
(No need to answer that because we all already know it).

There's the whole making of the sandwich thing....