954 days of NC
Guys, first of all I apologize for my English, I am not a native speaker. I have been reading So Suave (+Roissy & Rollo) for a couple of years, and the advice I read literally changed my life. As in my country there is literally no guy so capable in explaining intersexual dynamics, I really do believe that some of the articles I read have helped me to become a better person, even if I read them as a non-native speaker and most probably, there is a subtle nuance I failed to understand.
My story is rather simple: we have known each other since college (so more than 20 years), but since we finished college we rarely saw each other as she went to study abroad and came home only for holidays. I have been into her since we met for the first time, but since she left our country I started to date girls, lift weights, travel a lot, till I realised I had finally forgot her (after losing so many years lingering like a fool). But........3 years ago she decided to come back for good as someone in her family had passed away. She became more and more friendly and dropped subtle hints that she was interested in more than a friendship (though deep down inside she clearly knew I was into her since we met for the first time and I might be an easy catch). So, we got together, time flew, but still we rarely saw each other, she was always busy, always had something to do, etc....till that moment in which she stopped responding to text messages. I saw it coming, because during the last week she was less and less interested (too busy to go out with me, but she still had time to meet her friends). A mutual friend who knew some of her co-workers told me that she might be into a guy who was her boss at the time, and one of her relatives confirmed me. Please be aware that I did not do anything that would be qualified as beta: I did not supplicate, ask her why we don't see each other more often, why is she texting so rarely, etc. It was obvious I am a bit bothered by the situation, but I had plenty of things to do and I did not confront her.
From the moment she stopped responding I knew I was screwed and that I will never get her back. I was like yeah, it's clear that she was never really interested in me so what can I do, life goes on, I don't need closure because she will tell me some bull**** about things not working anymore (but when you see someone so rarely you can't even talk about a relationship tbh )).
So I never texted her to see what's happening, and during the first 3 weeks I received the following messages:
Her: (after a week): Hey, how are you?
Me: Fine, out with the boys, drinking some beers. How about you?
Her: I went out with a friend
Me: Cool
Her: -
One week after, I posted something on instagram, she texts:
Her: Is this your friend's coffeeshop?
Me: Yep, he is a friend but also a work colleague
Her: enjoy
Me: thanks
Exactly another week from this moment, she texts:
Her: Happy birthyday! Not sure why you distanced yourself/stopped texting, but I hope you're ok, happy and healthy!
Me: Thanks for the birthday wish!
954 days of NC have passed, and I still don't feel quite ok. It's still difficult to accept that someone is gone, that you'll never see the girl you truly liked again. I can't lie, I didn't feel depressed or so low that I couldn't get out, I always did my best to keep moving and forget about what happened. From time to time, I still dream about her and feel awkward in the mornings.
During the past months I have been thinking: I unfollowed her and her relatives on social media, I didn't see any photo of her for 3 years, I don't even know whether she is still home or somewhere else in Europe. How will I feel when I see she is getting married/or she already has kids?
My question is...how do you move on for good and stop dreaming about someone? How do you accept it's over and you're just a memory that will probably fade away as time goes by? How do you accept that she deserves to be happy, and if she is not happy with you, she will be with someone else...
Thank you!