The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Baibars]

I totally see where you’re coming from Max, & in most normal situations I’d totally agree with you.

My thing is we didn’t end on bad terms (at least I don’t think so!), but I had a lot going on outside my relationship at the time (my oldest sister got sick, my brother got AIDS, really heavy stuff you don’t talk about in the early stages of a relationship) which affected it.

I’m in a totally different place right now, I’d like to be able to say “hey, I’ve a new job working in the city you live now” (which I am) “i’ll be around in the area, if you want a drink feel free to join me...”

It’s not that I’m not still looking for someone new, but nobody else I’ve seen has interested me. I know we don’t always need or get resolution to everything in life, but I’d always wonder because I never got a chance to explain what was going on.

I just wonder if I should get in touch with her (or indeed anyone else) before lockdown ends & the world opens back up, or wait till it’s all back to normal before messaging girls again.

Doesn't matter she still left you and she had her reasons. Now you want to hit her up and you rationalize your emotions why it's ok to do that.
It's only ok if you have options and she hits you up. You're saying that you have no other options now and you would like to contact her because of that. This isn't a good position to be in if you want to contact an ex that dumped you and didn't even give you any signs of interest now.

 

[Max Baker]

I totally see where you’re coming from Max, & in most normal situations I’d totally agree with you.

My thing is we didn’t end on bad terms (at least I don’t think so!), but I had a lot going on outside my relationship at the time (my oldest sister got sick, my brother got AIDS, really heavy stuff you don’t talk about in the early stages of a relationship) which affected it.

I’m in a totally different place right now, I’d like to be able to say “hey, I’ve a new job working in the city you live now” (which I am) “i’ll be around in the area, if you want a drink feel free to join me...”

It’s not that I’m not still looking for someone new, but nobody else I’ve seen has interested me. I know we don’t always need or get resolution to everything in life, but I’d always wonder because I never got a chance to explain what was going on.

I just wonder if I should get in touch with her (or indeed anyone else) before lockdown ends & the world opens back up, or wait till it’s all back to normal before messaging girls again.

I know where you are coming from but its still not a good idea. I was in a bad headspace when i was with my ex. I had my own issues going on, although so did she but at least i acknowledged it and worked on them instead of jumping into another relationship quickly like she did. I turned my life around and made big changes to my life. I stuck around because she got sick and she saw and acknowledged the changes i made but it wasn't enough for her to come back. It got to the point where i walked away and stayed in no contact to preserve my own sanity. Best thing is, my ex knows i changed and she has to live with it now.

I would concentrate on yourself because if you are still thinking of contacting her you haven't recovered yet. Let some time pass and you'll probably find you won't want her anymore. Breakups happen for a reason or reasons.

Remember, there is always someone else better for you and also if she wants to talk to you she will find a way. You are the prize my friend.

 

[NSX-R]

That’s what i also thought. I’ve been myself lately very active on social maybe as a side effect showing her that I’m living the most that is possible during this stupid pandemic, which is true , also posted a couple of insta stories showing off my brand new AMG with a glimpse of the very sexy legs from a hb8 that I’m fcking atm . Obvious move to make her jealous but i believe it worked as intended. Other than that she has been seeing my insta stories as soon as i post them , it feels like she has post notifications for whatever i post on .

But since i don’t want to entertain the idea of us talking again i blocked her in every available form of communication we had for the first time and i do not intend to take that decision back as she used to do 6 times half a year ago lmfao . It’s officially over with her.

She reached out to me 2 days ago 4:00 in the morning through the Viber app which i forgot to block her there cause we never ever used to chat there and never thought that she would use it . So after everything that she has done to me she had the hypocrisy and texted me that she can’t understand why i blocked her and gave the blame to me that I’m lame . Lmfao .
Anyway i left it 2 days to pass without replying but today i thought i should give the final shot . Whole text went exactly like this
Her: I don’t understand why you blocked me
Her: For once again
Her: You are lame
(2 days pass)
Me: Hey N.
Me: I forgot
Me: I’m blocking you here as well , use a letter next time you want to talk to me .
“Blocked”

Many would just respond directly to her words and start writing essays on why she’s at fault or even emotionally respond by using insults and give her more excuses to remove any guilt she feels and confirm how lame you are .

I just didn’t give much attention at anything she said , didn’t fall into the drama trap , responded 2 days later by ignoring her and making her dry by no giving any validation and closed the case by holding solidly on my decision and in a way saying i don’t give a f. of your existence.

After 1.5 year of this shyt i believe it’s finally over, for the first time i don’t feel anything at all, i feel the winner even though it brought me down by many other potential relationships but any hardship is for good so I’m glad it ended that way with her feeling down and me being on top .

 

[soulforge]

You dont need to tell her she is a selfish immature... you know what. She will see that as you still having feelings and are acting butt hurt.

Best approach if she reaches out is just to have no time for her. Being too busy for her tells her you owe her nothing, not even your time. Nothing. It tells her she isnt even an afterthought in your life and you have moved on.

Don't give them any satisfaction.. You don't need to ask any questions.. Only silence has an effect on them.. No contact means no contact

 

[Max Baker]

Don't give them any satisfaction.. You don't need to ask any questions.. Only silence has an effect on them.. No contact means no contact

Are you guys saying to ignore her if she ever contacts me again? Because i won't ever contact her that's for sure.

I'm asking this because I'm not sure what to do. Sometimes i think i miss her still and then i get angry at myself for thinking like that. I'm missing an illusion because my brain likes to play tricks on me. Everyone I've told in real life tells me she'll reach out at some point, but my brain can't comprehend that. Is it because even though i understand female nature, my brain can't comprehend it? I have days where i don't think about her and i don't care, but i still have fleeting moments where i do care. Anyway, I've got to continue to push on, not contact her and ill be ok. Even though i know its female nature and i know why she did it, it still shocks me how after being serious with me and wanting a family, how she was able to move on so quickly and live with a new bloke and carry on.
I just want to add I've had plenty of girlfriends before and I've moved on well. Its just that this girl was the first girl i lived with and my best friend. So its a little harder to get her completely out of my mind at this stage.

 

[Baibars]

Are you guys saying to ignore her if she ever contacts me again? Because i won't ever contact her that's for sure.

I'm asking this because I'm not sure what to do. Sometimes i think i miss her still and then i get angry at myself for thinking like that. I'm missing an illusion because my brain likes to play tricks on me. Everyone I've told in real life tells me she'll reach out at some point, but my brain can't comprehend that. Is it because even though i understand female nature, my brain can't comprehend it? I have days where i don't think about her and i don't care, but i still have fleeting moments where i do care. Anyway, I've got to continue to push on, not contact her and ill be ok. Even though i know its female nature and i know why she did it, it still shocks me how after being serious with me and wanting a family, how she was able to move on so quickly and live with a new bloke and carry on.
I just want to add I've had plenty of girlfriends before and I've moved on well. Its just that this girl was the first girl i lived with and my best friend. So its a little harder to get her completely out of my mind at this stage.

It's ok to have this feelings but don't act based on them. You're not fully over her. It doesn't matter if she reaches out ever or not. You have to come to the point were you don't care.
You have to focus on yourself, on your purpose and on other chicks. Do you know why she doesn't reach out? Because she doesn't care and she made many experiences with other guys after you.
The focus shouldn't be on No Contact. Focus should be on creating abundance and on yourself.
It's good that you learned about female nature but you still have this fake image of her you created in your head. This is not her.
The person she pretended to be and you got to know isn't her. It's her lovebombing you and being a chameleon in order to fit you.
It's not easy to accept but that's just reality.

 

[dude99]

Are you guys saying to ignore her if she ever contacts me again?

Yes.

 

[Max Baker]

It's ok to have this feelings but don't act based on them. You're not fully over her. It doesn't matter if she reaches out ever or not. You have to come to the point were you don't care.
You have to focus on yourself, on your purpose and on other chicks. Do you know why she doesn't reach out? Because she doesn't care and she made many experiences with other guys after you.
The focus shouldn't be on No Contact. Focus should be on creating abundance and on yourself.
It's good that you learned about female nature but you still have this fake image of her you created in your head. This is not her.
The person she pretended to be and you got to know isn't her. It's her lovebombing you and being a chameleon in order to fit you.
It's not easy to accept but that's just reality.

She's been with the one guy since we split. She is the insecure, clingy needy type and i did experience love bombing and the rest during the relationship. Plus she contacted me for the first 13 months of their relationship behind his back. I was the first to walk away yet she continued to contact me for another 5 or so months after that. I think she finally got the hint and stopped. It seems she had trouble letting go.

Everything else is spot on. It is hard to accept but and there are days where i do but there are moments where it still shocks me. But I'll get there.

 

[NSX-R]

She reached out to me 2 days ago 4:00 in the morning through the Viber app which i forgot to block her there cause we never ever used to chat there and never thought that she would use it . So after everything that she has done to me she had the hypocrisy and texted me that she can’t understand why i blocked her and gave the blame to me that I’m lame . Lmfao .
Anyway i left it 2 days to pass without replying but today i thought i should give the final shot . Whole text went exactly like this
Her: I don’t understand why you blocked me
Her: For once again
Her: You are lame
(2 days pass)
Me: Hey N.
Me: I forgot
Me: I’m blocking you here as well , use a letter next time you want to talk to me .
“Blocked”

Many would just respond directly to her words and start writing essays on why she’s at fault or even emotionally respond by using insults and give her more excuses to remove any guilt she feels and confirm how lame you are .

I just didn’t give much attention at anything she said , didn’t fall into the drama trap , responded 2 days later by ignoring her and making her dry by no giving any validation and closed the case by holding solidly on my decision and in a way saying i don’t give a f. of your existence.

After 1.5 year of this shyt i believe it’s finally over, for the first time i don’t feel anything at all, i feel the winner even though it brought me down by many other potential relationships but any hardship is for good so I’m glad it ended that way with her feeling down and me being on top .

She just texted on my number still asking why i blocked her and asking what’s my email. For real? After rejecting her she’s still coming for more and continues this show .

Off course no reply from my part and zero interest for her . But it’s so funny that she still keeping up this stupid game .

 

[dude99]

She just texted on my number still asking why i blocked her and asking what’s my email. For real? After rejecting her she’s still coming for more and continues this show .

Off course no reply from my part and zero interest for her . But it’s so funny that she still keeping up this stupid game .

She is still looking to get validation from you. Keep ignoring.

 

[NSX-R]

She is still looking to get validation from you. Keep ignoring.

She’s got some thousands of instagram followers giving her daily validation but it seems mine is the one she still wants. Well that validation ran out so she ain’t getting any more of it . I do really hope that she starts realizing it that i have moved on .

 

[Max Baker]

She’s got some thousands of instagram followers giving her daily validation but it seems mine is the one she still wants. Well that validation ran out so she ain’t getting any more of it . I do really hope that she starts realizing it that i have moved on .

She'll get the hint at some point. Mine took a while but they eventually get there. Keep going mate love your work.

 

[NSX-R]

She'll get the hint at some point. Mine took a while but they eventually get there. Keep going mate love your work.

I appreciate it bro . Yeah eventually they have no other choice but to move on . Sometimes i have the urge to respond, Not because i feel something for her but just to mess up with her psychology and bring her ego really down but that goes along with the validation and drama she wants. If i respond she gets the drama most women want plus i play with the fact she won’t ever leave me alone and I don’t want that . Radio silence.

 

[dude99]

I appreciate it bro . Yeah eventually they have no other choice but to move on . Sometimes i have the urge to respond, Not because i feel something for her but just to mess up with her psychology and bring her ego really down but that goes along with the validation and drama she wants. If i respond she gets the drama most women want plus i play with the fact she won’t ever leave me alone and I don’t want that . Radio silence.

Ignoring her messes with her psychology even more. Moving on and living a great life messes with it the most because it shows you dont need or want her.

 

[NSX-R]

Ignoring her messes with her psychology even more. Moving on and living a great life messes with it the most because it shows you dont need or want her.

That’s completely true . I remember once i denied fcking her and was ignoring her for the whole night . I will never forget it . She was literally begging me to fck her and she even was pulling me so that I’ll respond. Didn’t respond at all but the next day we had one of the best sexual sessions ever .
In my current situation i don’t really care how she feels. My ego got rewarded when she started chasing and falling so low to respond after blocking her everywhere. I got what i wanted and the objective was complete.There is nothing else. I have literally zero feelings left for her . I wish i was feeling the same some time ago . Anyway I’m the winner .

 

[Mauser96]

Love this thread.

Guys it will take some time, but eventually you will feel :

"I'm mot sure I'd ever take her back"

then it will evolve to
"I'd never take her back! What was I thinking!"

But the key during, and after you reach this stage, is SELF-IMPROVEMENT.

Imagine how good it will feel when they see you again, by chance, 6 months later ....and you have lost 20 pounds of fat, put on a few pounds of muscle....................and don't even acknowledge their existence as you walk on by.

 

[Barrister]

NC - Day 60

So I finally am hitting the milestone of day 60 today. I can say that I feel infinitely better than I did 30 days ago. Honestly, the single most important thing is just the passage of time. Had you asked me 30 days ago how I’d feel by day 60 I would never have expected to feel as good as I do at this juncture.

This isn’t to say I don’t still think about her. I still have people bring her up to me and some memories still pop into my head here and there. However, the almost constant thoughts of her and agonizing over the failure of the relationship that were present 30 days ago is gone now. I’m seeing other women and doing my own thing.

It gets better guys. Even though this challenge is technically 60 days I have zero intention of breaking no contact. I honestly think the challenge should be more like 180 days to ensure full healing.