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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

Barrister

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Men, stop over complicating No Contact. It’s actually very easy. The reason so many men make it complicated is because they are invested in some way or another.

Think about it, how many men are worried about going No Contact if a telemarketer doesn’t contact them? Exactly, because the man is not invested. Men also need to stop “applying” No Contact in hopes of getting the girl to come back. That has to be the weakest mindset ever.

No contact = Delete her number, delete her photos, block her number, delete anything related to her, no keeping tabs on her, and MOVE ON (forever).
While I agree with what you said in principle, nothing about No Contact is easy. You are weening yourself off of a "drug" - and most men are "addicts" to their exes in this same manner. The sex, the emotional rollercoaster these women put us through (generally caused by their cluster B traits), etc. -- all of these things are things that your brain is used to and thinks it needs. So suddenly cutting it off cold turkey is not easy in the least. It is still the RIGHT decision to make - but it is hard as hell.

Men have to realize it is the right decision though and that No Contact is the quickest way to heal and the quickest way for them to get their lives back on track. This thread is here for us to support men going through that and make them understand that speaking to their exes is feeding that addiction and making it impossible to move on. Hence why No Contact is so important post-breakup and must be maintained for healing to occur.
 

DontThinkTwice

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While I agree with what you said in principle, nothing about No Contact is easy. You are weening yourself off of a "drug" - and most men are "addicts" to their exes in this same manner. The sex, the emotional rollercoaster these women put us through (generally caused by their cluster B traits), etc. -- all of these things are things that your brain is used to and thinks it needs. So suddenly cutting it off cold turkey is not easy in the least. It is still the RIGHT decision to make - but it is hard as hell.

Men have to realize it is the right decision though and that No Contact is the quickest way to heal and the quickest way for them to get their lives back on track. This thread is here for us to support men going through that and make them understand that speaking to their exes is feeding that addiction and making it impossible to move on. Hence why No Contact is so important post-breakup and must be maintained for healing to occur.
Very true. We are also trained in the matrix to idolize love, find our soulmate, and serve women. I think our "protective instincts" for women play a huge role in men's attachment issues. And then if you aren't great with women, you're going to go through sex withdrawal. Then you see that girl is seeing other men and already moved on, so throw jealousy and territorial instincts in there. Perfect ****tail for depression.

"Men love idealistically. Women love opportunistically."
 

justanub

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Feel bad and regret that all the times spent together were wasted and feel that many more good times could be created in the future. Enjoyed the time spent together as i felt that she was my lover my friend and my other self that i could share all good things with. Feel like she was mine in heart and soul. All the laughs and joy we shared feel eternal and unforgettable all the hugging and nights shared together that I can never get back. Reason why I want to share this with her is because I miss her and want her to know that.





Want to call her and ask if she needs me to order food for her in case she doesn’t have any more money… Want to ask how she’s doing and if she’s ok…. Tell her i’m worried because she’s working late and has to get a driver to come pick her up…



Feel regret and miss the comfort and consistency of the relationship. Miss the late night calls and sleeping together while the call is ongoing
 

suavymente

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This is so toxic it isnt allowing me to sleep. I barely manage to fall asleep but I wake up after 3-4 hours and then my brain keeps on thinking what do I do? It's day 2 of breakup and no contact.
 

SoSuave666

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Feel bad and regret that all the times spent together were wasted and feel that many more good times could be created in the future. Enjoyed the time spent together as i felt that she was my lover my friend and my other self that i could share all good things with. Feel like she was mine in heart and soul. All the laughs and joy we shared feel eternal and unforgettable all the hugging and nights shared together that I can never get back. Reason why I want to share this with her is because I miss her and want her to know that.





Want to call her and ask if she needs me to order food for her in case she doesn’t have any more money… Want to ask how she’s doing and if she’s ok…. Tell her i’m worried because she’s working late and has to get a driver to come pick her up…



Feel regret and miss the comfort and consistency of the relationship. Miss the late night calls and sleeping together while the call is ongoing
There’s no such thing as relationship equity. All those memories you had are because of the different ways men and women love each other. Until you find another woman who is as good or better than your ex, you will look back at those memories idealistically. Eventually when you find someone new, you will look back on those memories with fondness, but emotional detachment.

I think back on all my relationships with fondness and as learning experiences. But I have no emotional attachment anymore, I don’t want the women anymore. You will feel the same over time. I recommend taking some time for yourself. But then you need to go out and meet and engage with women. It will be difficult at first, but in combination with no contact it is absolutely the right way to go.
 

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dude99

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Feel bad and regret that all the times spent together were wasted and feel that many more good times could be created in the future. Enjoyed the time spent together as i felt that she was my lover my friend and my other self that i could share all good things with. Feel like she was mine in heart and soul. All the laughs and joy we shared feel eternal and unforgettable all the hugging and nights shared together that I can never get back. Reason why I want to share this with her is because I miss her and want her to know that.





Want to call her and ask if she needs me to order food for her in case she doesn’t have any more money… Want to ask how she’s doing and if she’s ok…. Tell her i’m worried because she’s working late and has to get a driver to come pick her up…



Feel regret and miss the comfort and consistency of the relationship. Miss the late night calls and sleeping together while the call is ongoing
I hate to say this but your mentality will only get you used. You need to focus on you. You are living the disney fantacy in your head and it will get you used and friendzoned every time. Focus on Fixing and helping and feeding you. Not her. Who cares if she doesn't have enough money for food and stuff. Women use you and play dirty. When you try to be the white night you get soiled.

She is history. Focus on a better you so with future women you don't get used.
 

European-DJ

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It’s so interesting to read the excuses and justifications that are used for reaching out to exes. I hope everyone comes back to revisit their journey, it’ll hopefully be insightful.

Unless you lived together, have kids together or anything as strong as this, there’s little to no reason to reach out to her.

“ohh, but she has my old worn down boxers” - you don’t need them mate.
“I got bad results from the doctors” - share it with your family or friends mate…
“She wrote me good morning / I love you” - stop interpreting it as a call to reconcile, it’s not, and whatever message you send will be sent some sort of expectations which never materialize.

Take your distance. In most cases they are hurting too and NOT because they are cracking to get bask together, but because a break-up is fought for anyone. You are removing an object from your life typically very suddenly who you spend a material amount of time with.

Crack on with NC. I promise once you are at day 50 / 60 you will be in a much better position that now. There will be one day towards the end where you will be feeling like ****, this is because deep down inside everyone is doing this to get an ex back initially, and once that day is passed I promise you that so will your deep-rooting feelings towards you ex be.
 

justanub

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Hitting it up with a new chick hotter than my ex. The pain doesn’t seem as obvious anymore…
 

suavymente

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Caved today... Called once but no answer. Its so difficult everything reminds me of her even my blanket still smells of her p*ssy, felt like she was the one.
 

justanub

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Guess moving on is the only option left, what a pity… I feel bad for her tbh, I pretty much ruined her the amount of sex we had the orgasms I gave her doubt she’ll ever forget but oh well guess life just goes on.
 

indiff

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This is so toxic it isnt allowing me to sleep. I barely manage to fall asleep but I wake up after 3-4 hours and then my brain keeps on thinking what do I do? It's day 2 of breakup and no contact.
This was me when I was bluepilled. Totally felt helpless and even got flu symptoms because I didn’t sleep much and my heart was racing. It was the first time I was this invested in a girl and the breakup was just unfathomable.

It gets easier if you cut all contact with her, keep yourself busy. I wasn’t able to focus at work so I just kept going on dates that I got from the apps. That’s where I learnt more about women’s nature and then got redpilled once I read Rollo’s books.
 

justanub

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This was me when I was bluepilled. Totally felt helpless and even got flu symptoms because I didn’t sleep much and my heart was racing. It was the first time I was this invested in a girl and the breakup was just unfathomable.

It gets easier if you cut all contact with her, keep yourself busy. I wasn’t able to focus at work so I just kept going on dates that I got from the apps. That’s where I learnt more about women’s nature and then got redpilled once I read Rollo’s books.
True but it’s hard to constantly remind yourself. Sometimes I wish it weren’t so, that this one is different or maybe that I should be different. Yeah no, time will heal this. Biggest lesson I learned from this is I should always be spinning plates oneitis is real and it’s ****ed up. Can’t believe I got oneitis at the age of 26 also after having had sex with over 40 women.
 

spred

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True but it’s hard to constantly remind yourself. Sometimes I wish it weren’t so, that this one is different or maybe that I should be different. Yeah no, time will heal this. Biggest lesson I learned from this is I should always be spinning plates oneitis is real and it’s ****ed up. Can’t believe I got oneitis at the age of 26 also after having had sex with over 40 women.
I got oneitis when I was 18, 30 and now 44. Meeting orher women and knowing your value are solutions.
 

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Raggendecanton

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I got oneitis when I was 18, 30 and now 44. Meeting orher women and knowing your value are solutions.
Too be honest. Isn't getting oneitis part of life and what most of us brought here in the first place? I got oneitis when i was 18 25 and atm at 29. But everytime i got better afterwards and i get better girls, even though it really really sucks after the breakup. But for me, its really hard too not get complacent when life gets tough, but everytime i got complacent, i got dumped. So i am working on that, although i do question sometimes if its ever really possible too never be complacent again and always spin plates. Life gets in the way sometimes, all about acceptance for me.
 

justanub

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Quick update; after 3 weeks of NC I feel ashamed I stayed with her for so long. We briefly got back together the 2nd week however the second she showed an ounce of disrespect I reinitiated NC. Now that I am able to think clearly, all the ****ed up things she did is coming to the surface. No way am I getting back together with her no matter what.
Anyway it feels good to be single, working out hitting up new chicks and old contacts as well, all will be good boys.
 

BuckledWheel

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Having broken up with one of the hottest girls I ever went out with & I mean she would have done anything for me. She was starting to have the “where are we going with this relationship” I wouldn’t commit & she called it a day. I cut all ties, blocked my number from her. At the time I never used social media. Fast forward 5 years I get a message on IM fb with this “Hi how are you, do you remember me?” I checked her out on social media & she still looked pretty good & had a kid in tow. I never answered her message. It’s best to forget these chicks. Let someone else deal with their emotions. If it happens be resolute & stick to it.
 

justanub

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After one month of no contact she calls me at 4:30 AM saying she’s drunk and wants to talk to me. ( Calls me from her friends phone bcs i blocked her everywhere) Got pissed, woke up told her there’s nothing to talk about, we are not getting back together. She’s all like no I’m happy rn blah blah i just wanna talk to you, can hear bitchy friend in the background saying ****. Bang i hang up. Get call back minute later, “why are u so rude i just wanna talk to you blah blah drunk talk. So i say go ahead talk. Random bla bla so i tell her look u wanna talk, call back when you’re sober. Get this, she says she’s not drunk proceeds to ask her friend i only drank 2 ****tails right? hear them laughing so i get tired hang up again. And block the friends number. She starts sending me text messages “Please i just want to talk” “Please pick up” I mute the chat and go back to sleep. (No idea how she managed to contact me on whatsapl, clearly remember blocking her )
Afterwerds find out she already tried calling me like 30 times that night through whatsapp.

Anyway, I got over her already since a few days ago. After this drunk call even more so. Feels good. Honestly i dont even know what I saw in her. Girls like these arent relationship material.
At this stage I kind of pity her, she’s going down the drain and even though I dont want to get back together with her, I somehow feel responsible.
 

DarwinTaurus

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I got dumped a week ago after a 6 month relationship... via text. Was gutted. I was out with friends when it occurred. Texted back and forth, then blocked, after trying to end amicably. My heart was broken.

Relented, unblocked a few days later when my head was together, just wanted to reiterate the amicable ending. She offered the cliched 'lets be friends'. Said I would like that. Two days later, she texted me, said she was thinking about me, and a side health issue, she would support me visiting the doctor, and we could have a drink and talk later. Thanked her for that.

Thinking of texting her Tuesday, for a catch-up Thursday, just to see the reaction. If I get brushed off, well, then, thats it.

I know that this breaks the 'no-contact rule', however, I really did fall for this woman.
 
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