The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Baji]

Day 1
I've been a bit back and forth with my ex since we broke up, and I'm taking the No Contact seriously from today. I'm going to get a gym membership, explore hobbies, and hang out with my bro's more often. I plan to write here once a week, but we'll see how it plays out

Day 4
So I've been doing a good job not thinking about her and doing other things. But I had a wet dream of her giving me a pretty intense BJ, so I've been in a mood. But I still don't feel like reaching out or even talking to her, I'm still spinning plates and enjoying letting game be my default (I haven't played game with anyone since the relationship started so I'm really rusty)

 

[Barrister]

Day 4
So I've been doing a good job not thinking about her and doing other things. But I had a wet dream of her giving me a pretty intense BJ, so I've been in a mood. But I still don't feel like reaching out or even talking to her, I'm still spinning plates and enjoying letting game be my default (I haven't played game with anyone since the relationship started so I'm really rusty)

Just rub one off (and don't fantasize about her while doing it) and move on, brother. If you are feeling especially horny in general, get on a dating app and start some swiping. These women aren't long term solutions, but they are low hanging fruit and can reach that "itch" you have right now so that you don't do anything to jeopardize your healing process as to your ex. Don't fall into the trap of makeup sex (which I have done myself many times).

 

[Baji]

Hey man, thanks for the insight. I was honestly looking forward to attempting makeup sex, but I'll definitely steer very far away from that now. Concerning 'rubbing one off', I've stopped doing that for over a year now, I realised it was way too easy, and having that alternative gave me less reason (I'm a bit shy and introverted) to talk to girls. So I'm trying to use the new drive to go out there and make magic happen, although no success so far.
I'm also considering reaching out to a plate I stopped spinning, we were really good on the friends-with-benefits thing, but I told her it's over because I wanted to get back with said ex (definitely was suffering from oneitis looking at this). Should I try to get her back on or I should just go out and find new plates to spin? (This is an open-ended question, I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts on this)

 

[Barrister]

Hey man, thanks for the insight. I was honestly looking forward to attempting makeup sex, but I'll definitely steer very far away from that now. Concerning 'rubbing one off', I've stopped doing that for over a year now, I realised it was way too easy, and having that alternative gave me less reason (I'm a bit shy and introverted) to talk to girls. So I'm trying to use the new drive to go out there and make magic happen, although no success so far.
I'm also considering reaching out to a plate I stopped spinning, we were really good on the friends-with-benefits thing, but I told her it's over because I wanted to get back with said ex (definitely was suffering from oneitis looking at this). Should I try to get her back on or I should just go out and find new plates to spin? (This is an open-ended question, I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts on this)

I agree that if you can resist masturbation then do so. But at the same time, it is the lesser of two evils if you are feeling tempted to talk to your ex.

In the meantime, I would pass on the old plate. She likely will make you jump through a lot of hoops (drama) to get back what you had. Turn the leaf over and focus on the future with new plates. This can be an exciting time of positive change for you.

 

[Baji]

Hmmmn, I see your point. I'll definitely take on the adventure. Thank you so much again.

 

[Baji]

Day 4
So I've been doing a good job not thinking about her and doing other things. But I had a wet dream of her giving me a pretty intense BJ, so I've been in a mood. But I still don't feel like reaching out or even talking to her, I'm still spinning plates and enjoying letting game be my default (I haven't played game with anyone since the relationship started so I'm really rusty)

Day 19
Time really flies when you shift gears, realised I hadn't posted here in a while and I thinknits a good sign. I've reconnected with old friends i lost contact with because she used to be the only person I talked to. More in touch with family also. Not so much for hobbies and gyming because of work, but I'll start doing calisthenics very soon. I have a really good physique despite eating sh!t but I've made it a point to eat way better. And yeah I was searching for something in my chats and her profile came up and my heart rate spiked, but it quickly calmed down and I didnt think about it after that. Progress so far is immense and I'm enjoying the new phase.

 

[Baji]

Day 26
So I've started journalling to try and get my life together. I write down habits I notice aren't good, their frequency, and things I should be doing every day. I also mistakenly saw her chat a few days ago, I didn't open it but I glanced long enough to know that she didn't send any response, at first I felt weird, but then I remembered no contact isn't for me to give her the silent treatment so she comes crawling back, its for me to use this period to start the journey of becoming an absolute monster of a man, and it put me in the IDGAF zone real quick, and I've been good.

Also, I started talking with a girl I really vibed with in High school, she was 2 years below me, and we haven't spoken in 4 years. But we've really hit it off and I felt myself getting happy when she responds and anticipating it. Once I noticed that, I drastically reduced the time between responses and its been better. But its still a lowkey feeling. I guess its from an absence of plates, so I'm going to put in a lot more effort in that regard. Lets gooooooooooo!!!!

 

[Baji]

Day 26
So I've started journalling to try and get my life together. I write down habits I notice aren't good, their frequency, and things I should be doing every day. I also mistakenly saw her chat a few days ago, I didn't open it but I glanced long enough to know that she didn't send any response, at first I felt weird, but then I remembered no contact isn't for me to give her the silent treatment so she comes crawling back, its for me to use this period to start the journey of becoming an absolute monster of a man, and it put me in the IDGAF zone real quick, and I've been good.

Also, I started talking with a girl I really vibed with in High school, she was 2 years below me, and we haven't spoken in 4 years. But we've really hit it off and I felt myself getting happy when she responds and anticipating it. Once I noticed that, I drastically reduced the time between responses and its been better. But its still a lowkey feeling. I guess its from an absence of plates, so I'm going to put in a lot more effort in that regard. Lets gooooooooooo!!!!

Day 30
Yesterday, I cleaned my room.
It might not look like much, and no it wasn't a messy enough place to require a makeover. It was an act to establish control over the things I know I can control. It took about three days, and in that time I took apart everything and discarded all that I don't use or won't help me in my journey. I created a workstation and changed the style and feel of the room. And now, everytime I think about it, or walk into it, I know for sure that within me is the power and ability to change any and everything within my grasp. Even if it looks okay, it can always be better and I won't settle for mediocre. I'm slowly but surely moving forward, and I'm enjoying the journey.