The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Baji]

Okay, I'll definitely keep that in mind. I got dumped, she usually pulls the 'let's break up' card frequently, but this time I said enough is enough. But then we got to talking a while after(I reached out), and then she found out I had a fling with an ex during the time we were apart, she got mad, and I told myself I'm not going down this rabbit hole again. So I've muted and archived her chats everywhere, and deleted everything

 

[startstrongtoday22]

Okay, I'll definitely keep that in mind. I got dumped, she usually pulls the 'let's break up' card frequently, but this time I said enough is enough. But then we got to talking a while after(I reached out), and then she found out I had a fling with an ex during the time we were apart, she got mad, and I told myself I'm not going down this rabbit hole again. So I've muted and archived her chats everywhere, and deleted everything

First off, you do not owe her any explanation of what you did during the time you were apart. She is using you as validation. When you realize that she is contacting you, you just do not pick up, and let it go to voicemail - this will destroy her confidence. After all of contacting and you not answering, she will feel embarrassed and stop. You did a great job deleting everything.

You need to hit the gym, follow up a program like Jim Stoppani's, go hardcore, try intermittent fasting, make getting fit and buy new clothes if you need to make yourself feel better. Get on all the dating apps and just talk to girls, and meet them.

Naturally you will find someone who will care for you.

I've been in the same position as you man. PM Me if you need more personal advice.

 

[Baji]

Thank you so much for the advice. I will check Jim Stoppani out and try intermittent fasting as well. I will definitely PM you if anything comes up. Very glad to hear someone was also in my shoes, I know I can do this.

 

[Baji]

Day 1
I've been a bit back and forth with my ex since we broke up, and I'm taking the No Contact seriously from today. I'm going to get a gym membership, explore hobbies, and hang out with my bro's more often. I plan to write here once a week, but we'll see how it plays out

Day 4
So I've been doing a good job not thinking about her and doing other things. But I had a wet dream of her giving me a pretty intense BJ, so I've been in a mood. But I still don't feel like reaching out or even talking to her, I'm still spinning plates and enjoying letting game be my default (I haven't played game with anyone since the relationship started so I'm really rusty)

 

[Barrister]

Day 4
So I've been doing a good job not thinking about her and doing other things. But I had a wet dream of her giving me a pretty intense BJ, so I've been in a mood. But I still don't feel like reaching out or even talking to her, I'm still spinning plates and enjoying letting game be my default (I haven't played game with anyone since the relationship started so I'm really rusty)

Just rub one off (and don't fantasize about her while doing it) and move on, brother. If you are feeling especially horny in general, get on a dating app and start some swiping. These women aren't long term solutions, but they are low hanging fruit and can reach that "itch" you have right now so that you don't do anything to jeopardize your healing process as to your ex. Don't fall into the trap of makeup sex (which I have done myself many times).

 

[Baji]

Hey man, thanks for the insight. I was honestly looking forward to attempting makeup sex, but I'll definitely steer very far away from that now. Concerning 'rubbing one off', I've stopped doing that for over a year now, I realised it was way too easy, and having that alternative gave me less reason (I'm a bit shy and introverted) to talk to girls. So I'm trying to use the new drive to go out there and make magic happen, although no success so far.
I'm also considering reaching out to a plate I stopped spinning, we were really good on the friends-with-benefits thing, but I told her it's over because I wanted to get back with said ex (definitely was suffering from oneitis looking at this). Should I try to get her back on or I should just go out and find new plates to spin? (This is an open-ended question, I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts on this)

 

[Barrister]

Hey man, thanks for the insight. I was honestly looking forward to attempting makeup sex, but I'll definitely steer very far away from that now. Concerning 'rubbing one off', I've stopped doing that for over a year now, I realised it was way too easy, and having that alternative gave me less reason (I'm a bit shy and introverted) to talk to girls. So I'm trying to use the new drive to go out there and make magic happen, although no success so far.
I'm also considering reaching out to a plate I stopped spinning, we were really good on the friends-with-benefits thing, but I told her it's over because I wanted to get back with said ex (definitely was suffering from oneitis looking at this). Should I try to get her back on or I should just go out and find new plates to spin? (This is an open-ended question, I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts on this)

I agree that if you can resist masturbation then do so. But at the same time, it is the lesser of two evils if you are feeling tempted to talk to your ex.

In the meantime, I would pass on the old plate. She likely will make you jump through a lot of hoops (drama) to get back what you had. Turn the leaf over and focus on the future with new plates. This can be an exciting time of positive change for you.

 

[Baji]

Hmmmn, I see your point. I'll definitely take on the adventure. Thank you so much again.

 

[Baji]

Day 4
So I've been doing a good job not thinking about her and doing other things. But I had a wet dream of her giving me a pretty intense BJ, so I've been in a mood. But I still don't feel like reaching out or even talking to her, I'm still spinning plates and enjoying letting game be my default (I haven't played game with anyone since the relationship started so I'm really rusty)

Day 19
Time really flies when you shift gears, realised I hadn't posted here in a while and I thinknits a good sign. I've reconnected with old friends i lost contact with because she used to be the only person I talked to. More in touch with family also. Not so much for hobbies and gyming because of work, but I'll start doing calisthenics very soon. I have a really good physique despite eating sh!t but I've made it a point to eat way better. And yeah I was searching for something in my chats and her profile came up and my heart rate spiked, but it quickly calmed down and I didnt think about it after that. Progress so far is immense and I'm enjoying the new phase.

 

[Baji]

Day 26
So I've started journalling to try and get my life together. I write down habits I notice aren't good, their frequency, and things I should be doing every day. I also mistakenly saw her chat a few days ago, I didn't open it but I glanced long enough to know that she didn't send any response, at first I felt weird, but then I remembered no contact isn't for me to give her the silent treatment so she comes crawling back, its for me to use this period to start the journey of becoming an absolute monster of a man, and it put me in the IDGAF zone real quick, and I've been good.

Also, I started talking with a girl I really vibed with in High school, she was 2 years below me, and we haven't spoken in 4 years. But we've really hit it off and I felt myself getting happy when she responds and anticipating it. Once I noticed that, I drastically reduced the time between responses and its been better. But its still a lowkey feeling. I guess its from an absence of plates, so I'm going to put in a lot more effort in that regard. Lets gooooooooooo!!!!

 

[Baji]

Day 26
So I've started journalling to try and get my life together. I write down habits I notice aren't good, their frequency, and things I should be doing every day. I also mistakenly saw her chat a few days ago, I didn't open it but I glanced long enough to know that she didn't send any response, at first I felt weird, but then I remembered no contact isn't for me to give her the silent treatment so she comes crawling back, its for me to use this period to start the journey of becoming an absolute monster of a man, and it put me in the IDGAF zone real quick, and I've been good.

Also, I started talking with a girl I really vibed with in High school, she was 2 years below me, and we haven't spoken in 4 years. But we've really hit it off and I felt myself getting happy when she responds and anticipating it. Once I noticed that, I drastically reduced the time between responses and its been better. But its still a lowkey feeling. I guess its from an absence of plates, so I'm going to put in a lot more effort in that regard. Lets gooooooooooo!!!!

Day 30
Yesterday, I cleaned my room.
It might not look like much, and no it wasn't a messy enough place to require a makeover. It was an act to establish control over the things I know I can control. It took about three days, and in that time I took apart everything and discarded all that I don't use or won't help me in my journey. I created a workstation and changed the style and feel of the room. And now, everytime I think about it, or walk into it, I know for sure that within me is the power and ability to change any and everything within my grasp. Even if it looks okay, it can always be better and I won't settle for mediocre. I'm slowly but surely moving forward, and I'm enjoying the journey.

 

[Baji]

Day 30
Yesterday, I cleaned my room.
It might not look like much, and no it wasn't a messy enough place to require a makeover. It was an act to establish control over the things I know I can control. It took about three days, and in that time I took apart everything and discarded all that I don't use or won't help me in my journey. I created a workstation and changed the style and feel of the room. And now, everytime I think about it, or walk into it, I know for sure that within me is the power and ability to change any and everything within my grasp. Even if it looks okay, it can always be better and I won't settle for mediocre. I'm slowly but surely moving forward, and I'm enjoying the journey.

Day 40
Soo, things are going pretty great. Getting rid of my bad habits, and making progress in life generally. I realised that me and said ex had a lot of pictures and videos saved on the cloud (506). So I went up there and deleted every single one, and deleted them from my recently deleted as well. It felt slightly weird, I saw in my notes something she wrote to me a while back that moved me a little, but digging a bit more and I saw something my Beta self wrote, cancelled out whatever was coming up real quick. No nostalgia, or wishing for everything to be back the way they were. Just me clearing out old things to create space for new ones. So, we keep pushing!

 

[soulforge]

Nearly 6 weeks NC... My advice is don't date Eastern European Chicks, they pretty damn agressive haha.

Getting some clarity back into my life and actually glad I got rid of her.. She definitely was not LTR material.

Plus at her age 24 she could have easily got pregnant and I would have been tied to her for many many years. Dodged a fukin bullet!

 

[soulforge]

Does this NC get any easier?

When the girl is really hot, it's alot difficult to get over her. Most days I am good, however mornings for me are difficult.

This is when she comes into my mind alot.

She was 24 years old with a amazing body, not that easy to replace.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Does this NC get any easier?

It does, when you find a girl who is hotter and younger.

 

[soulforge]

It does, when you find a girl who is hotter and younger.

Bruv my ex is 24 years old and hot... How am I going to go any younger at my age of 47 lol

 

[Baji]

Day 40
Soo, things are going pretty great. Getting rid of my bad habits, and making progress in life generally. I realised that me and said ex had a lot of pictures and videos saved on the cloud (506). So I went up there and deleted every single one, and deleted them from my recently deleted as well. It felt slightly weird, I saw in my notes something she wrote to me a while back that moved me a little, but digging a bit more and I saw something my Beta self wrote, cancelled out whatever was coming up real quick. No nostalgia, or wishing for everything to be back the way they were. Just me clearing out old things to create space for new ones. So, we keep pushing!

Day 57
3 days to the end, just 3 days to the end and she decided to call. I feel very weird and off, a bit anxious too, generally not good vibes. Feels like everything was for naught because I still have feelings for her. But I know that’s just my inner b!tch talking.
I’ve made so much progress in these 2 months, so much. I’m not gonna let that slip for NOBODY, so I missed both calls and didn’t read the text message. I’ll probably look at it at the end of the week, or not at all. I don’t expect all the feelings I have to disappear, a lot of time, energy and emotions went into it and it’s not easy letting it all go. But I’ll get there slowly and surely.

 

[soulforge]

Day 57
3 days to the end, just 3 days to the end and she decided to call. I feel very weird and off, a bit anxious too, generally not good vibes. Feels like everything was for naught because I still have feelings for her. But I know that’s just my inner b!tch talking.
I’ve made so much progress in these 2 months, so much. I’m not gonna let that slip for NOBODY, so I missed both calls and didn’t read the text message. I’ll probably look at it at the end of the week, or not at all. I don’t expect all the feelings I have to disappear, a lot of time, energy and emotions went into it and it’s not easy letting it all go. But I’ll get there slowly and surely.

Depending on what this chick did to you, and how long the break up was, stick to your guns.

Going back to exes rarely works out.

 

[member160292]

Lol dude, take your own advice

 

[Baji]

Depending on what this chick did to you, and how long the break up was, stick to your guns.

Going back to exes rarely works out.

I’m not going back, not at all.