"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She’s accepted her ex’s friend request. Is this a reason to be worried?

Barbu

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She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.

Part of me thinks that she may have unresolved feelings for him and I’m trying my best not to think of that. Maybe it’s just a friend request... I don’t know

What do you think is going on?

I really don’t want her to be hurt like last time.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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mrgoodstuff

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She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.

Part of me thinks that she may have unresolved feelings for him and I’m trying my best not to think of that. Maybe it’s just a friend request... I don’t know

What do you think is going on?

I really don’t want her to be hurt like last time.
Her? What about you? Why did he say "he still loves her"?
 

Barbu

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Her? What about you? Why did he say "he still loves her"?
It’s based on what he wrote in his “apology” she showed me. It made my skin crawl a bit, but I didn’t mention it to her.

In my opinion, that’s how it came across I mean.
 

mrgoodstuff

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It’s based on what he wrote in his “apology” she showed me. It made my skin crawl a bit, but I didn’t mention it to her.

In my opinion, that’s how it came across I mean.
So your a friend? It depends on how they broke up. If he trashed her out and did her dirty, I don't think she should let her back in with that bullshyt. That statement is said because he knows she probably still has a softspot.

If they fell off and maybe she did something he didn't like or they were taking time off for whatever reason, and he comes back with that statement, fine.
 

Barbu

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So your a friend? It depends on how they broke up. If he trashed her out and did her dirty, I don't think she should let her back in with that bullshyt. That statement is said because he knows she probably still has a softspot.

If they fell off and maybe she did something he didn't like or they were taking time off for whatever reason, and he comes back with that statement, fine.
Yes we’ve known eachother since nursery. She’s very dear to me, and I wouldn’t want to see her hurt again.

We were both 20 when it happened, and she couldn’t quite understand what happened. He blocked her and vanished without any sort of explanation for her whatsoever.

He didn’t exactly say that he still loves her, but he told her he’s never stopped thinking about her and that she’s still very much in his hear - but, you can probably tell that’s as good as “I love you” wouldn’t you think?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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mrgoodstuff

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Yes we’ve known eachother since nursery. She’s very dear to me, and I wouldn’t want to see her hurt again.

We were both 20 when it happened, and she couldn’t quite understand what happened. He blocked her and vanished without any sort of explanation for her whatsoever.

He didn’t exactly say that he still loves her, but he told her he’s never stopped thinking about her and that she’s still very much in his hear - but, you can probably tell that’s as good as “I love you” wouldn’t you think?
Your still young, check it out and see what you think.
 

Barbu

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Your still young, check it out and see what you think.
What do you mean what I think?

I don’t think there’s anything I can really do other than continue to support her no matter what choice she makes. Even though it’s concerning me quite some bit...

I’m 25 now.
 

In2theGame

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She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.
download.jpg
 

In2theGame

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Can I just say that I have no romantic inclination towards my friend.

What do you think is going on?
Are you genuinely concerned about her being "Hurt"? or do you have potential romantic / sexual feelings towards her at all?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Barbu

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Are you genuinely concerned about her being "Hurt"? or do you have potential romantic / sexual feelings towards her at all?
The former.

I witnessed what happened to her the first time, I stood there with her throughout these years, and I do not want her to be hurt again.
 

In2theGame

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The former.

I witnessed what happened to her the first time, I stood there with her throughout these years, and I do not want her to be hurt again.
In fairness, you nor anyone else knows the ex boyfriend's true intentions but if he discarded her like tissue paper, I'm not so sure his "I still love you" is that genuine. She definitely wants to "explore" things because she accepted his "friend request". If she truly wanted to keep the door closed on that chapter with him, she would have deleted and ignored it. You wont be able to change her mind about it either, she's going to do what she "feels" like doing. Unfortunately, people need to sometimes learn things the hard way.
 

BackInTheGame78

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She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.

Part of me thinks that she may have unresolved feelings for him and I’m trying my best not to think of that. Maybe it’s just a friend request... I don’t know

What do you think is going on?

I really don’t want her to be hurt like last time.
You are finished.
 

Barbu

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In fairness, you nor anyone else knows the ex boyfriend's true intentions but if he discarded her like tissue paper, I'm not so sure his "I still love you" is that genuine. She definitely wants to "explore" things because she accepted his "friend request". If she truly wanted to keep the door closed on that chapter with him, she would have deleted and ignored it. You wont be able to change her mind about it either, she's going to do what she "feels" like doing. Unfortunately, people need to sometimes learn things the hard way.
What you says is without a doubt the truth. Part of the reason his message made me so uneasy is because how could you love someone and do something that callous?

We can’t be certain, of course, however it’s not hard to assume he wants her back - but for what reason, that’s what’s entirely uncertain.

Yes, that’s why I think it isn’t “just a friend request” because, as you’ve said, she could have ignored it.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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In2theGame

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What you says is without a doubt the truth. Part of the reason his message made me so uneasy is because how could you love someone and do something that callous?

We can’t be certain, of course, however it’s not hard to assume he wants her back - but for what reason, that’s what’s entirely uncertain.

Yes, that’s why I think it isn’t “just a friend request” because, as you’ve said, she could have ignored it.
Yes, she could have. Also, I know you stated that you have no romantic feelings towards her but if deep down you do, you better tell her now or you'll stay the "male girl friend" in her mind.
 

Barbu

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Yes, she could have. Also, I know you stated that you have no romantic feelings towards her but if deep down you do, you better tell her now or you'll stay the "male girl friend" in her mind.
I really don’t, plus I have my eyes set on another girl.
 

mrgoodstuff

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What do you mean what I think?

I don’t think there’s anything I can really do other than continue to support her no matter what choice she makes. Even though it’s concerning me quite some bit...

I’m 25 now.
Thats you. Its not for you to control her. She will be able to see quickly if the guy has good intentions.
I really don’t, plus I have my eyes set on another girl.
The best way for them to learn is let them do what they want to do. Maybe it's not a bad thing, but trust me, letting them bump their head lets them learn.
 

Barbu

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Thats you. Its not for you to control her. She will be able to see quickly if the guy has good intentions.

The best way for them to learn is let them do what they want to do. Maybe it's not a bad thing, but trust me, letting them bump their head lets them learn.
You’re right, absolutely right.

I feel that maybe she’s hoping beyond hope that he’s changed.

I will leave her choose whatever she chooses and continue to support her when she needs supporting.
 

mrgoodstuff

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You’re right, absolutely right.

I feel that maybe she’s hoping beyond hope that he’s changed.

I will leave her choose whatever she chooses and continue to support her when she needs supporting.
People can and do change, and you guys are young. So it's it will be whatever it's going to be.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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