"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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She’s accepted her ex’s friend request. Is this a reason to be worried?

Barbu

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She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.

Part of me thinks that she may have unresolved feelings for him and I’m trying my best not to think of that. Maybe it’s just a friend request... I don’t know

What do you think is going on?

I really don’t want her to be hurt like last time.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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mrgoodstuff

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She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.

Part of me thinks that she may have unresolved feelings for him and I’m trying my best not to think of that. Maybe it’s just a friend request... I don’t know

What do you think is going on?

I really don’t want her to be hurt like last time.
Her? What about you? Why did he say "he still loves her"?
 

Barbu

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Her? What about you? Why did he say "he still loves her"?
It’s based on what he wrote in his “apology” she showed me. It made my skin crawl a bit, but I didn’t mention it to her.

In my opinion, that’s how it came across I mean.
 

mrgoodstuff

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It’s based on what he wrote in his “apology” she showed me. It made my skin crawl a bit, but I didn’t mention it to her.

In my opinion, that’s how it came across I mean.
So your a friend? It depends on how they broke up. If he trashed her out and did her dirty, I don't think she should let her back in with that bullshyt. That statement is said because he knows she probably still has a softspot.

If they fell off and maybe she did something he didn't like or they were taking time off for whatever reason, and he comes back with that statement, fine.
 

Barbu

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So your a friend? It depends on how they broke up. If he trashed her out and did her dirty, I don't think she should let her back in with that bullshyt. That statement is said because he knows she probably still has a softspot.

If they fell off and maybe she did something he didn't like or they were taking time off for whatever reason, and he comes back with that statement, fine.
Yes we’ve known eachother since nursery. She’s very dear to me, and I wouldn’t want to see her hurt again.

We were both 20 when it happened, and she couldn’t quite understand what happened. He blocked her and vanished without any sort of explanation for her whatsoever.

He didn’t exactly say that he still loves her, but he told her he’s never stopped thinking about her and that she’s still very much in his hear - but, you can probably tell that’s as good as “I love you” wouldn’t you think?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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mrgoodstuff

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Yes we’ve known eachother since nursery. She’s very dear to me, and I wouldn’t want to see her hurt again.

We were both 20 when it happened, and she couldn’t quite understand what happened. He blocked her and vanished without any sort of explanation for her whatsoever.

He didn’t exactly say that he still loves her, but he told her he’s never stopped thinking about her and that she’s still very much in his hear - but, you can probably tell that’s as good as “I love you” wouldn’t you think?
Your still young, check it out and see what you think.
 

Barbu

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Your still young, check it out and see what you think.
What do you mean what I think?

I don’t think there’s anything I can really do other than continue to support her no matter what choice she makes. Even though it’s concerning me quite some bit...

I’m 25 now.
 

In2theGame

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She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.
download.jpg
 

In2theGame

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Can I just say that I have no romantic inclination towards my friend.

What do you think is going on?
Are you genuinely concerned about her being "Hurt"? or do you have potential romantic / sexual feelings towards her at all?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Barbu

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Are you genuinely concerned about her being "Hurt"? or do you have potential romantic / sexual feelings towards her at all?
The former.

I witnessed what happened to her the first time, I stood there with her throughout these years, and I do not want her to be hurt again.
 

In2theGame

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The former.

I witnessed what happened to her the first time, I stood there with her throughout these years, and I do not want her to be hurt again.
In fairness, you nor anyone else knows the ex boyfriend's true intentions but if he discarded her like tissue paper, I'm not so sure his "I still love you" is that genuine. She definitely wants to "explore" things because she accepted his "friend request". If she truly wanted to keep the door closed on that chapter with him, she would have deleted and ignored it. You wont be able to change her mind about it either, she's going to do what she "feels" like doing. Unfortunately, people need to sometimes learn things the hard way.
 

BackInTheGame78

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She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.

Part of me thinks that she may have unresolved feelings for him and I’m trying my best not to think of that. Maybe it’s just a friend request... I don’t know

What do you think is going on?

I really don’t want her to be hurt like last time.
You are finished.
 

Barbu

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In fairness, you nor anyone else knows the ex boyfriend's true intentions but if he discarded her like tissue paper, I'm not so sure his "I still love you" is that genuine. She definitely wants to "explore" things because she accepted his "friend request". If she truly wanted to keep the door closed on that chapter with him, she would have deleted and ignored it. You wont be able to change her mind about it either, she's going to do what she "feels" like doing. Unfortunately, people need to sometimes learn things the hard way.
What you says is without a doubt the truth. Part of the reason his message made me so uneasy is because how could you love someone and do something that callous?

We can’t be certain, of course, however it’s not hard to assume he wants her back - but for what reason, that’s what’s entirely uncertain.

Yes, that’s why I think it isn’t “just a friend request” because, as you’ve said, she could have ignored it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

In2theGame

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What you says is without a doubt the truth. Part of the reason his message made me so uneasy is because how could you love someone and do something that callous?

We can’t be certain, of course, however it’s not hard to assume he wants her back - but for what reason, that’s what’s entirely uncertain.

Yes, that’s why I think it isn’t “just a friend request” because, as you’ve said, she could have ignored it.
Yes, she could have. Also, I know you stated that you have no romantic feelings towards her but if deep down you do, you better tell her now or you'll stay the "male girl friend" in her mind.
 

Barbu

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Yes, she could have. Also, I know you stated that you have no romantic feelings towards her but if deep down you do, you better tell her now or you'll stay the "male girl friend" in her mind.
I really don’t, plus I have my eyes set on another girl.
 

mrgoodstuff

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What do you mean what I think?

I don’t think there’s anything I can really do other than continue to support her no matter what choice she makes. Even though it’s concerning me quite some bit...

I’m 25 now.
Thats you. Its not for you to control her. She will be able to see quickly if the guy has good intentions.
I really don’t, plus I have my eyes set on another girl.
The best way for them to learn is let them do what they want to do. Maybe it's not a bad thing, but trust me, letting them bump their head lets them learn.
 

Barbu

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Thats you. Its not for you to control her. She will be able to see quickly if the guy has good intentions.

The best way for them to learn is let them do what they want to do. Maybe it's not a bad thing, but trust me, letting them bump their head lets them learn.
You’re right, absolutely right.

I feel that maybe she’s hoping beyond hope that he’s changed.

I will leave her choose whatever she chooses and continue to support her when she needs supporting.
 

mrgoodstuff

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You’re right, absolutely right.

I feel that maybe she’s hoping beyond hope that he’s changed.

I will leave her choose whatever she chooses and continue to support her when she needs supporting.
People can and do change, and you guys are young. So it's it will be whatever it's going to be.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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