"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

She’s accepted her ex’s friend request. Is this a reason to be worried?

Barbu

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
23
Reaction score
5
Age
33
She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.

Part of me thinks that she may have unresolved feelings for him and I’m trying my best not to think of that. Maybe it’s just a friend request... I don’t know

What do you think is going on?

I really don’t want her to be hurt like last time.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,586
Reaction score
11,948
Location
DFW, TX
She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.

Part of me thinks that she may have unresolved feelings for him and I’m trying my best not to think of that. Maybe it’s just a friend request... I don’t know

What do you think is going on?

I really don’t want her to be hurt like last time.
Her? What about you? Why did he say "he still loves her"?
 

Barbu

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
23
Reaction score
5
Age
33
Her? What about you? Why did he say "he still loves her"?
It’s based on what he wrote in his “apology” she showed me. It made my skin crawl a bit, but I didn’t mention it to her.

In my opinion, that’s how it came across I mean.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,586
Reaction score
11,948
Location
DFW, TX
It’s based on what he wrote in his “apology” she showed me. It made my skin crawl a bit, but I didn’t mention it to her.

In my opinion, that’s how it came across I mean.
So your a friend? It depends on how they broke up. If he trashed her out and did her dirty, I don't think she should let her back in with that bullshyt. That statement is said because he knows she probably still has a softspot.

If they fell off and maybe she did something he didn't like or they were taking time off for whatever reason, and he comes back with that statement, fine.
 

Barbu

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
23
Reaction score
5
Age
33
So your a friend? It depends on how they broke up. If he trashed her out and did her dirty, I don't think she should let her back in with that bullshyt. That statement is said because he knows she probably still has a softspot.

If they fell off and maybe she did something he didn't like or they were taking time off for whatever reason, and he comes back with that statement, fine.
Yes we’ve known eachother since nursery. She’s very dear to me, and I wouldn’t want to see her hurt again.

We were both 20 when it happened, and she couldn’t quite understand what happened. He blocked her and vanished without any sort of explanation for her whatsoever.

He didn’t exactly say that he still loves her, but he told her he’s never stopped thinking about her and that she’s still very much in his hear - but, you can probably tell that’s as good as “I love you” wouldn’t you think?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,586
Reaction score
11,948
Location
DFW, TX
Yes we’ve known eachother since nursery. She’s very dear to me, and I wouldn’t want to see her hurt again.

We were both 20 when it happened, and she couldn’t quite understand what happened. He blocked her and vanished without any sort of explanation for her whatsoever.

He didn’t exactly say that he still loves her, but he told her he’s never stopped thinking about her and that she’s still very much in his hear - but, you can probably tell that’s as good as “I love you” wouldn’t you think?
Your still young, check it out and see what you think.
 

Barbu

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
23
Reaction score
5
Age
33
Your still young, check it out and see what you think.
What do you mean what I think?

I don’t think there’s anything I can really do other than continue to support her no matter what choice she makes. Even though it’s concerning me quite some bit...

I’m 25 now.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,190
Reaction score
1,147
Age
43
Location
New York City
She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.
download.jpg
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,190
Reaction score
1,147
Age
43
Location
New York City
Can I just say that I have no romantic inclination towards my friend.

What do you think is going on?
Are you genuinely concerned about her being "Hurt"? or do you have potential romantic / sexual feelings towards her at all?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Barbu

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
23
Reaction score
5
Age
33
Are you genuinely concerned about her being "Hurt"? or do you have potential romantic / sexual feelings towards her at all?
The former.

I witnessed what happened to her the first time, I stood there with her throughout these years, and I do not want her to be hurt again.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,190
Reaction score
1,147
Age
43
Location
New York City
The former.

I witnessed what happened to her the first time, I stood there with her throughout these years, and I do not want her to be hurt again.
In fairness, you nor anyone else knows the ex boyfriend's true intentions but if he discarded her like tissue paper, I'm not so sure his "I still love you" is that genuine. She definitely wants to "explore" things because she accepted his "friend request". If she truly wanted to keep the door closed on that chapter with him, she would have deleted and ignored it. You wont be able to change her mind about it either, she's going to do what she "feels" like doing. Unfortunately, people need to sometimes learn things the hard way.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,871
Reaction score
19,098
She was ditched by him like an old towel with no explanation whatsoever, and he’s waltzed back into her life saying sorry and telling her he still loves her.

She’s accepted his friend request.

Part of me thinks that she may have unresolved feelings for him and I’m trying my best not to think of that. Maybe it’s just a friend request... I don’t know

What do you think is going on?

I really don’t want her to be hurt like last time.
You are finished.
 

Barbu

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
23
Reaction score
5
Age
33
In fairness, you nor anyone else knows the ex boyfriend's true intentions but if he discarded her like tissue paper, I'm not so sure his "I still love you" is that genuine. She definitely wants to "explore" things because she accepted his "friend request". If she truly wanted to keep the door closed on that chapter with him, she would have deleted and ignored it. You wont be able to change her mind about it either, she's going to do what she "feels" like doing. Unfortunately, people need to sometimes learn things the hard way.
What you says is without a doubt the truth. Part of the reason his message made me so uneasy is because how could you love someone and do something that callous?

We can’t be certain, of course, however it’s not hard to assume he wants her back - but for what reason, that’s what’s entirely uncertain.

Yes, that’s why I think it isn’t “just a friend request” because, as you’ve said, she could have ignored it.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,190
Reaction score
1,147
Age
43
Location
New York City
What you says is without a doubt the truth. Part of the reason his message made me so uneasy is because how could you love someone and do something that callous?

We can’t be certain, of course, however it’s not hard to assume he wants her back - but for what reason, that’s what’s entirely uncertain.

Yes, that’s why I think it isn’t “just a friend request” because, as you’ve said, she could have ignored it.
Yes, she could have. Also, I know you stated that you have no romantic feelings towards her but if deep down you do, you better tell her now or you'll stay the "male girl friend" in her mind.
 

Barbu

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
23
Reaction score
5
Age
33
Yes, she could have. Also, I know you stated that you have no romantic feelings towards her but if deep down you do, you better tell her now or you'll stay the "male girl friend" in her mind.
I really don’t, plus I have my eyes set on another girl.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,586
Reaction score
11,948
Location
DFW, TX
What do you mean what I think?

I don’t think there’s anything I can really do other than continue to support her no matter what choice she makes. Even though it’s concerning me quite some bit...

I’m 25 now.
Thats you. Its not for you to control her. She will be able to see quickly if the guy has good intentions.
I really don’t, plus I have my eyes set on another girl.
The best way for them to learn is let them do what they want to do. Maybe it's not a bad thing, but trust me, letting them bump their head lets them learn.
 

Barbu

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
23
Reaction score
5
Age
33
Thats you. Its not for you to control her. She will be able to see quickly if the guy has good intentions.

The best way for them to learn is let them do what they want to do. Maybe it's not a bad thing, but trust me, letting them bump their head lets them learn.
You’re right, absolutely right.

I feel that maybe she’s hoping beyond hope that he’s changed.

I will leave her choose whatever she chooses and continue to support her when she needs supporting.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,586
Reaction score
11,948
Location
DFW, TX
You’re right, absolutely right.

I feel that maybe she’s hoping beyond hope that he’s changed.

I will leave her choose whatever she chooses and continue to support her when she needs supporting.
People can and do change, and you guys are young. So it's it will be whatever it's going to be.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Top