Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

I Don't Fight Over Women

ThisIsSparta

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So for instance if the right guy can 'impress' the woman here show he is better than the other guy and handle the situation well he will soon get a 1-1 date.

But all these 'pressure tactics' like getting 1-2-1 dates, not texting, isolating quickly these are tactics for low value guys it is just beginner beginner level.
Trying to impress women, jumping through their hoops and over their obstacles is the real beginner level.

Entering a womens frame is also beginner level. Pro´s set the frame for a date, the woman complies or is free to date a simp that is willing to jump through her hoops.

The quality of a woman is not defined by how many obstacles she puts up for a man that she is interested in.

Good luck with putting a woman on princess-lvl on date 2 (before she even svcked your dyck) by "duelling" yourself with another guy over her.
 
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Ricky

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I'm ok hanging out with her friends.. my wife used to do that with us and yes there were orbiters. I just hit on her friends too. I won them all over and actually made out with her friend first.

The less you show it phases you the better you look. Being fun and outgoing with her friends makes great social proof. Her friends will be interested in you which raises interest with your target. The orbiter like most AFC/simps will shoot himself in the foot many ways.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

I’m with @RazorRambo24 on this. She thought @jaymbrs was cool enough to invite to a group hangout that she was already going to.

Then OP gets bent that it isn’t a 1 on 1 date. Facepalm.

I have lots of friends. Men and women. I go do stuff with both male and female friends, and some of them are kinda protective. Not because they want to get with me, but because they know who I am and they don’t want someone trying to take advantage of me and my kind nature.

In fact I met my fiancé while out with a group that included 3 women and 4 men. He thought I was married to one of the guys, and so he asked. Guess what? He found out I wasn’t married and he asked me out straight away the next morning.

The man asks out the woman for dates. That’s what traditionally minded women expect. That did not happen here.

She is pretty and thin. Of course she has options. Women need men to be more direct.

“Hey let’s grab dinner”.

How hard is that really?
 

pipeman84

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1) she's not inviting you on a date.. get the memo yet? She's calling u to casual hangouts with her friends. Can't be upset at her inviting you to casual hangouts with her friends. she has no obligation to be alone..

2) she might be a little dense to not realize you like her, or you just haven't made it clear enough

3) As a man, traditionally, you are the one whos supposed to invite HER on a date. duh? Women don't set up dates, hence shes probably just feeling you out right now, and waiting for YOU to invite HER out.

4) She obviously thinks you're cool enough to invite you out and spend time with you. But you need to make a move otherwise you won't know where her head is at. i mean do you not have any cues or signs to how she feels about you?
You're making good points, BUT:
1. you've seen her photo, and @Giovanni SouthSide nailed it with the description.
2. it's poor taste to invite a guy to hang out when she's in a group of friends that includes a dude with obvious interest in her. Even without that photo which shows she has mileage on her, a +30yrs old woman knows that interactions with guys are for a romantic/sexual purpose, unless clearly specified otherwise (for instance work related).
 

Barrister

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This really comes down to why OP "assumed" this would be a 1 on 1 meeting. I don't think that is something you just assume - especially if a woman is asking you to an event. Normally speaking, rarely does a woman directly ask a man out on a 1 on 1 date. It happens, albeit very rarely. I would have assumed it was a social event - not vice versa.

And that begs the question that if OP was interested, why wasn't he asking her out 1 on 1 himself and skipping over all the fluff beforehand? Seemed like he was setting himself up to be placed into an orbiter/friend category by this woman.
 

Ricky

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Maybe she was testing him to see if he is the jealous and insecure type?

the way to pass the test is to not consider the orbiter a threat at all
 

SW15

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This really comes down to why OP "assumed" this would be a 1 on 1 meeting. I don't think that is something you just assume - especially if a woman is asking you to an event. Normally speaking, rarely does a woman directly ask a man out on a 1 on 1 date. It happens, albeit very rarely. I would have assumed it was a social event - not vice versa.

And that begs the question that if OP was interested, why wasn't he asking her out 1 on 1 himself and skipping over all the fluff beforehand? Seemed like he was setting himself up to be placed into an orbiter/friend category by this woman.
I recently met a woman through a mutual friend. I got a little 1 on 1 time with her but not enough to make anything happen. The next day she invited me out to a sports bar to watch a big boxing match. I assumed it would just be her and her friends again.
He didn't assume it would be a one-on-one meeting. The key phrase in the first post was "not enough time to make anything happen". If a woman is comfortable enough inviting a man to a public event, that's a woman who is worth asking for a one-on-one date.

Most men won't ever be directly asked on a date by a woman. You'd have to be around a 98th percentile guy for that to happen.

The biggest mistake was not asking out at the end of the first interaction. OP dodged a bullet though as this is a career woman with an advanced degree. Better to make a mistake on a not so great prospect than a better prospect. OP can learn from this. Not at all in a big deal in life.
 

RazorRambo24

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You're making good points, BUT:
1. you've seen her photo, and @Giovanni SouthSide nailed it with the description.
2. it's poor taste to invite a guy to hang out when she's in a group of friends that includes a dude with obvious interest in her. Even without that photo which shows she has mileage on her, a +30yrs old woman knows that interactions with guys are for a romantic/sexual purpose, unless clearly specified otherwise (for instance work related).
There's so much lack of experience in this thread its not even funny.

If you have not experienced a girl inviting you out to meet her friends, you are just not social enough. Sorry but it happens and it happens often. Not a big deal. If someone doesn't make it a date, it wont be a date. Normal women don't make the first move, the guy has to. Best they can do is give you a hint they are into you by making opportunities to allow you to work off of.


Anything else is just cynical "women are bad and evil" scarcity/weak mentality/victim mindset.

OP might have some things to work on and jus might lack the experience of a girl inviting him out to meet her friends. He might not be social enough in knowing how to handle the situation or to communicate with the girl well enough. He also probably hasn't made a move or made his intentions clear.. and is just hoping she makes the first move..

Girls who are social and have good healthy friendships would invite u out to see what her friends think about you because its just a smart thing to do as a woman, to have your friends opinions. Girls who just want fun don't do this. It's usually something a woman does when she's looking for something serious.

The photo has absolutely 0 to do with anything.. That's just deluded thinking. If anything she looks like a sweet girl to me and i'm far from your average joe. I've dealt with more woman than most people even have a chance to interact with.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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If you have not experienced a girl inviting you out to meet her friends, you are just not social enough.

Girls who are social and have good healthy friendships would invite u out to see what her friends think about you because its just a smart thing to do as a woman, to have your friends opinions. Girls who just want fun don't do this. It's usually something a woman does when she's looking for something serious.
You clearly misunderstood the situation OP was in.

She wasn't inviting him out to meet her friends.

She wasn't "looking for something serious".

WTF are you talking about?
 

BeExcellent

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Some of you guys are so socially clueless it’s painful.

OP if you like the girl ASK HER OUT on a DATE.

Simple. If she says yes then great! Go out with her.

If she says anything else:

-No
-I’ve got to clip my dog’s toenails
-I’ve got to babysit my niece
-Oh I’m just SO busy

Etc.

Then she’s NOT interested. Save your time & find out if she is interested.

This is not an awkward girl with low self esteem. You have competition. And the competition already has you running with your tail between your legs.

You are your own worst enemy here.

My guy found out I wasn’t married and made a move. He knew other men were interested in me. He didn’t care. He made a move, a ballsy one at that. And he kept making moves.

Make a move. The rest is all weak BS. Get an answer up or down. This saves time. Value your time.
 

RazorRambo24

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You clearly misunderstood the situation OP was in.

She wasn't inviting him out to meet her friends.

She wasn't "looking for something serious".

WTF are you talking about?
"WTF are you talking about" -- clearly something you wouldn't understand homie

She invited him out and had friends there who made very clear they were just friends with her. You and every other weak scarcity/beta male insecure thinker have a weird perspective that she invited him out to like cuck him or something.. I'm sorry if your experience with women has been THAT bad --that you cannot understand my perspective, as a guy who is confident and been in similar situations and does not see it as a big deal.. Just like anything, you gotta know how to navigate the situation.

It seems OP was just in his head and mad/jealous that she had a guy friend there so instead of socializing with her and her friend and then stealing her/taking her aside and making some moves or telling her he was hoping she was by herself so he could get to know her-- (which is weird becuase hes the one who should set up a date, if she invites him out, shes not obligated to be alone like I Mentioned as she didnt say it was a date and girls dont make the first move)

OP just didn't know how to navigate/socialize so he just gave up and got angry at the girl. Like bro, the dude told you hes just a friend... its not his fault or the girls fault.. OP may just not be socially calibrated enough to deal with the situation or look past it and still ask her out on a proper date like a man.

The people who get it, know. (basic social dynamics) For the rest of you, hopefully you guys learn to see things clearly and not with some weird resentful victim mindset.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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"WTF are you talking about" -- clearly something you wouldn't understand homie

She invited him out and had friends there who made very clear they were just friends with her. You and every other weak scarcity/beta male insecure thinker have a weird perspective that she invited him out to like cuck him or something.. I'm sorry if your experience with women has been THAT bad --that you cannot understand my perspective, as a guy who is confident and been in similar situations and does not see it as a big deal..
Whoah...relax homie. Don't get so worked up homie. We don't want to have another incident like last night where you start angrily blowing up my inbox homie.

It seems OP was just in his head and mad/jealous that she had a guy friend there guys learn to see things clearly and not with some weird resentful victim mindset.
It's called deceit by omission. Look it up. Try education yourself for once instead of preaching all the time.

OP thought it was going to be him and her. Going by OP's posts, he ain't no spring chicken homie. Therefore, it seems he was mislead.

Yeah, he didn't ask the right questions. However, he shouldn't have to. In this instance, she seemed to have gained some trust from him...and through their conversation, it was implied that it was 1 on 1. You know why? She invited him out and she didn't tell him there was going to be anyone else there. She didn't say, "come on out, I'd like you to meet some of my friends" like you stated in your first comment. She invited him out, didn't tell him about the situation. She ****ed with him. It was on purpose. She knew she was deceiving him. If she didn't know, she's an idiot. Either way, while you're someone who'd be there spending your time trying to lap that BPD pvssy up, I'm bouncing to greener pastures. I have better things to do.
 

pipeman84

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Girls who are social and have good healthy friendships would invite u out to see what her friends think about you because its just a smart thing to do as a woman, to have your friends opinions.
Her friends, not her orbiters. There's a big difference.
The photo has absolutely 0 to do with anything.. That's just deluded thinking. If anything she looks like a sweet girl to me and i'm far from your average joe.
The photo adds a lot of context, because it makes it clear we're not dealing with a sweet innocent girl who unknowingly mislead OP or OP got the wrong idea and that orbiter guy was in fact just a protective friend as you and @BeExcellent imply. Yeah right. :lol:
 

BadBoy89

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There's so much lack of experience in this thread its not even funny.

If you have not experienced a girl inviting you out to meet her friends, you are just not social enough. Sorry but it happens and it happens often. Not a big deal. If someone doesn't make it a date, it wont be a date. Normal women don't make the first move, the guy has to. Best they can do is give you a hint they are into you by making opportunities to allow you to work off of.


Bro that was ambush by the girl.

That wasn‘t: ”Come meet my friends because I’m in love with you and want to have sex with you”,
That was: (To tell the guy she was with) “Hey, this guy is also interested in me and it helps my confidence, step your game up.”


Anything else is just cynical "women are bad and evil" scarcity/weak mentality/victim mindset.
In my opinion, its reality.

OP might have some things to work on and jus might lack the experience of a girl inviting him out to meet her friends. He might not be social enough in knowing how to handle the situation or to communicate with the girl well enough. He also probably hasn't made a move or made his intentions clear.. and is just hoping she makes the first move..

Girls who are social and have good healthy friendships would invite u out to see what her friends think about you because its just a smart thing to do as a woman, to have your friends opinions. Girls who just want fun don't do this. It's usually something a woman does when she's looking for something serious.
Man I got to give it to you, you are very positive in your thinking.

If a chick like that invited me out with a guy friend and 2 girls, you know how fast Id be out of there and how fast I would tell her off?

You got patience too.

The photo has absolutely 0 to do with anything.. That's just deluded thinking. If anything she looks like a sweet girl to me and i'm far from your average joe. I've dealt with more woman than most people even have a chance to interact with.
Come on bro. That does not look like a Mormon chick. That looks like Jennifer Lopez’s cousin, can play guys like a fiddle.
 

ThisIsSparta

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"WTF are you talking about" -- clearly something you wouldn't understand homie

She invited him out and had friends there who made very clear they were just friends with her. You and every other weak scarcity/beta male insecure thinker have a weird perspective that she invited him out to like cuck him or something.. I'm sorry if your experience with women has been THAT bad --that you cannot understand my perspective, as a guy who is confident and been in similar situations and does not see it as a big deal.. Just like anything, you gotta know how to navigate the situation.

It seems OP was just in his head and mad/jealous that she had a guy friend there so instead of socializing with her and her friend and then stealing her/taking her aside and making some moves or telling her he was hoping she was by herself so he could get to know her-- (which is weird becuase hes the one who should set up a date, if she invites him out, shes not obligated to be alone like I Mentioned as she didnt say it was a date and girls dont make the first move)

OP just didn't know how to navigate/socialize so he just gave up and got angry at the girl. Like bro, the dude told you hes just a friend... its not his fault or the girls fault.. OP may just not be socially calibrated enough to deal with the situation or look past it and still ask her out on a proper date like a man.

The people who get it, know. (basic social dynamics) For the rest of you, hopefully you guys learn to see things clearly and not with some weird resentful victim mindset.

There is no such thing as "guy friends" for a 30+ y.o. woman, there are only beta orbiters that she keeps around for practical reasons.

These guyfriends are going to fix her car, they are giving her investment guide, they are repairing her kitchen sink, they will give her a special discount here and there, they will ****block a guy she is not sure about..... thats what their job is.
They do this because they hope, one day, the moment will come when they get their chance on that woman.

You got to learn a lot more homie..... whatever you think to know.
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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Let’s not get lost in the whos, whats and whens. homeboy got ambushed into a booby trap.
The bitxh wanted the thrill for kills she knew the other dude wants her puzzy and she got cashed out by the thrill of luring OP into her angle.
Any man who is even remotely seasoned with girls since high school knows this sh1t.
I remember way back my young latina homegirls from my ghetto middle school of hard knocks pulling similar stunts like this with other boys. By high school they were masters in manipulation and deception.

Now what do you expect from a 30 something year old cutthroat careerist that can smell bloodflow from a mile away like a shark’s sensitive olfaction. Pure shrewdness.
If this woman was righteous with any shred of respect for OP then she would have notified him through the phone that another man aka orbiter was there but no she kept it hush hush on the down low. she is no good
 
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RazorRambo24

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Whoah...relax homie. Don't get so worked up homie. We don't want to have another incident like last night where you start angrily blowing up my inbox homie.


It's called deceit by omission. Look it up. Try education yourself for once instead of preaching all the time.

OP thought it was going to be him and her. Going by OP's posts, he ain't no spring chicken homie. Therefore, it seems he was mislead.

Yeah, he didn't ask the right questions. However, he shouldn't have to. In this instance, she seemed to have gained some trust from him...and through their conversation, it was implied that it was 1 on 1. You know why? She invited him out and she didn't tell him there was going to be anyone else there. She didn't say, "come on out, I'd like you to meet some of my friends" like you stated in your first comment. She invited him out, didn't tell him about the situation. She ****ed with him. It was on purpose. She knew she was deceiving him. If she didn't know, she's an idiot. Either way, while you're someone who'd be there spending your time trying to lap that BPD pvssy up, I'm bouncing to greener pastures. I have better things to do.

I shouldn't even respond to you because you lack any comprehension skills. You said she never invited him out to meet with friends. There were TWO instances she invited him out to something where there were friends. I'm sure people like yourself don't' get invited out to ANYTHING, so you're probably completely clueless at basic social dynamics.

And I only DMed you bec ause you tried to call me out because I mentioned something about Robert Deniro's success and being a Jew in Hollywood, despite me deleting the original post. I told you sorry that it offended you :'(. and then you dmed me the exact thing I said when i confronted you , like you actually copied and kept what I said like a little snitch. Real professional of you to bring that up in a whole separate topic and discussion. You reek of beta its hilarious.

You are not worthy to discuss this at all. 1) No comprehension skills 2) probably no skills with women. You have no idea what you're talking about. Even the only woman perspective in here agreed with my points. Enjoy living with a victim mindset. I hope it serves you well.

Weak dudes blame the girl. Real men don't blame the girl or her friends.. They blame themselves from being too scared to set up a n actual date or learn how to socialize with everyone and then end up taking the girl home.

The thing about it is, you do not realize how TELLING your attitudes/perspectives on this basic situation is. It shows a lack of basic social dynamics + lack of success with women.. /resentment towards women. I don't blame you guys since you're probably a product of your unfortunate circumstances but damn it must suck to be in your shoes.
 
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RazorRambo24

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This is the entire thread in a nutshell:

A buncha dudes who never been invited by a girl to anything where her friends or another friend was present.. (lack of BASIC social dynamics)

x

Men who clearly think that beautiful women are just inherently evil and want attention and need orbiters as if they need any kind of validation-- Good lookin girls need 0 validation. Having friends is not a crime.

+ Alot of victim mentality.



Why do girls invite guys out to things where their friends are present?

1) Why does anyone invite anyone out to anything when they first meet someone and start talking? To get to know them in normal social circumstances. If I'm hanging out with some friends and I invite a girl over, I'm not doing it because I want her attention or I'm looking for validation from guys around me .. I do it because im hanging with my boys, and yet I also want to see her so I got something to poke later. Women arent inherently different.. YOu weirdos just spend too much time on the internet reading garbage content that further keeps you socially unaware.

2) A quality girl when she meets a guy, she's not going to just go straight to his house. And she certainly isnt going to set up the first date. She's going to wonder what he's like in person though but maybe she might not want to meet him just on her own as girls have had their fair share of uncomfortable situations.. She might want to just invite him out while shes already got plans with friends or casually hanging out with friends. This is exactly what she did. This also gives her a better idea / more perspectives and opinions on what her friends might think of you.

In the first instance, there were multiple friends.. It didn't bother OP then. The second time, there was only one friend, who happened to be a guy. THIS IS WHAT BOTHERED OP. I mean the OP even went as far as to ask the guy if he had anything with her (lol).. and he made it very clear that he did not.

At no point in this entire thread did the herd of victim mentality, club of socially inept, or the squad of beta males think for a second that MAYBE the OP just lacks social skills, or the fact that he didnt make any move at all, or think of inviting her on a date.
Most of you went directly to the goto on SOsuave "BLAME THE CHICK" "SHES EVIL".


Please guys.. wake df up and realize your perspective is FAR from the ultimate. Your perspective if negative, is about as ideal as a man who never goes outside. You're literally going to scare the only few of us who enjoy abundance with women away from this forum. YOu gus already scared literally everyone else away.. Dudes who are confident and enjoy abundance do not want to be associated or read your nonsense perspectives .. Its really cringe. Look around, how many real players are left on SS? IF we put a spotlght on everyone and got to see what everyones truly like, you'd see abuncha strange creepy dudes staring at each other.. and thats sad.
 

BillyPilgrim

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At no point in this entire thread did the herd of victim mentality, club of socially inept, or the squad of beta males think for a second that MAYBE the OP just lacks social skills, or the fact that he didnt make any move at all, or think of inviting her on a date.
This is an emotionally-charged post but I agree with your criticisms of the OP. He also could have screened better.
 

SW15

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Please guys.. wake df up and realize your perspective is FAR from the ultimate. Your perspective if negative, is about as ideal as a man who never goes outside. You're literally going to scare the only few of us who enjoy abundance with women away from this forum. YOu gus already scared literally everyone else away.. Dudes who are confident and enjoy abundance do not want to be associated or read your nonsense perspectives .. Its really cringe. Look around, how many real players are left on SS? IF we put a spotlght on everyone and got to see what everyones truly like, you'd see abuncha strange creepy dudes staring at each other.. and thats sad.
This does need to be a seducer's board and not an incel board or Average Frustrated Chump board. This is a good point.
 
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