I Don't Fight Over Women

SW15

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Always black and white with some posters here. No room for deviation. You tell me bud. And I already expect the “oh she’s average” from the internet Don Juan’s from here.
She's physically attractive. I can see why you would be initially interested.

She's a pharmacist and graduated magna *** laude, no kids, never married.
She's a careerist with an advanced degree. Not good. The never married and no kids thing is a perk, especially to a never married and childless man of a similar age.

She doesn't live near me.
That would be problematic for a longer term relationship.

I recently met a woman through a mutual friend.
It's impressive that you have social circle options.

The next day she invited me out to a sports bar to watch a big boxing match. I assumed it would just be her and her friends again. When I arrived, she had a guy with her. I shook everyone's hand and made sure I remained social with everyone. I got the opportunity to ask her girl friend what the situation is between her and that guy and she said it's just her friend. The guy monopolized her attention and I could tell he was being a bit protective when I would initiate conversation with her. It was clear he liked her more than just a friend. It made things awkward so I decided after the fight to just head somewhere else. I'm really at odds about how this played out and I'm not sure what else I could've done. Yes, talking to another woman at the bar would have probably been the best option but when her friend said the guy and her are just friends, I felt it could've killed my chances with her.
You could have not agreed to going to that sports bar. After Friday night, the only acceptable get together with her was a one-on-one date. If you honestly didn't have enough time on Friday night to ask her out on a one-on-one date, perhaps you did need to go Mode One like @We_ArE_VeNOM would do.

You could have left the sports bar earlier in the night.

This prospect is a dead end. Despite her appearance, she has some red flags and she disrespected you by bringing some orbiter out.
 

All_Kindz_Of_Gainz

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I recently met a woman through a mutual friend. From the sounds of it, she's a high value woman (on paper) and very attractive. We've been chatting and getting to know each other via phone and instant messaging on Facebook and we finally had a chance to go out on Friday night. It was me, her and 3 of her friends (2 female, 1 male). We all had a good time at the local bars just hanging out. I got a little 1 on 1 time with her but not enough to make anything happen. The next day she invited me out to a sports bar to watch a big boxing match. I assumed it would just be her and her friends again. When I arrived, she had a guy with her. I shook everyone's hand and made sure I remained social with everyone. I got the opportunity to ask her girl friend what the situation is between her and that guy and she said it's just her friend. The guy monopolized her attention and I could tell he was being a bit protective when I would initiate conversation with her. It was clear he liked her more than just a friend. It made things awkward so I decided after the fight to just head somewhere else. I'm really at odds about how this played out and I'm not sure what else I could've done. Yes, talking to another woman at the bar would have probably been the best option but when her friend said the guy and her are just friends, I felt it could've killed my chances with her.

Thoughts?
You've been here for a long time, saying you've had many women, have dated a lot, giving dating advise to others, and yet you're doing all the rookie mistakes like this is your first time?

Examples:
1. Getting to know her via phone and Facebook? Instead doing the getting to each other in person, and not being that available all the time.

2. Going out with her and with a group of friends? Instead of going 1-1 date so you can seduce her and make things happen.

3. Not asking her who will be there in that boxing match? So when she says a couple of friends, you decline and tell her whenever she's available for a 1-1 date to let you know.

That's how orbiters and simps behave, they jump at the opportunity of getting to know a woman that they put on the pedestal.
 

AttackFormation

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I dont think you know enough about this woman yet to make any definitive conclusion. Her showing up with a guy friend to what one would assume was a 1 on 1 meeting, would make me assume shes a professional game player - and bump her down a notch on how seriously i take her. But she could also have some plan to test your character by doing that, and disqualify you if you blow up about it. Or she could just not be thinking about it at all, though that seems unlikely. Like i said - not enough to make a definitive conclusion.

I think you can meet her again, get some new info from that and report back. It's too soon to start propounding either the end of the earth or the singing of angels.
 
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jaymbrs

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You've been here for a long time, saying you've had many women, have dated a lot, giving dating advise to others, and yet you're doing all the rookie mistakes like this is your first time?

Examples:
1. Getting to know her via phone and Facebook? Instead doing the getting to each other in person, and not being that available all the time.

2. Going out with her and with a group of friends? Instead of going 1-1 date so you can seduce her and make things happen.

3. Not asking her who will be there in that boxing match? So when she says a couple of friends, you decline and tell her whenever she's available for a 1-1 date to let you know.

That's how orbiters and simps behave, they jump at the opportunity of getting to know a woman that they put on the pedestal.
You just made me realize I'm asking for advice from a forum full of losers who have never come close to pulling what I've pulled and are quick to judge based on a post. Simp? Boy, you have no clue who I am. I need to get off this site.
 

The Duke

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@jaymbrs

Some thoughts:

1. You put yourself in a tough spot. First you should not have accepted her invitation and saw her the night before. This was round two of the same thing. Second, you have to deal with her friends. Just not the environment you need to get results. Its always next to impossible to connect/seduce in these situations.

2. I've agreed to one "come hang out with my friends" type dates with a new girl once in my life time. It ended in my favor but it was an uphill battle. I've since said he11 no to every single friend type date invite. Its 1 on 1 or I'm not playing. What I have learned from the types of girls that want these dates is its a safety net for them. The people they bring are their protectors, women always find safety in numbers, and they subscribe to group think so what her friends says carries weight. If she drinks too much they save her, if you do something her friends don't like they shut you down. Ten bucks says the dude she brought is a beta that has been trying to be her friend forever in hopes he could sniff her panties some day. And another ten bucks says she never told him there was an interest between you and her.

3. This chic went from being possible high value, to low value. If she needs her tribe to come along for emotional/moral support so she feels safe then she has some issues and I question her interest level. If she brings her tribe to keep her options and have dudes compete for her, then she is low value.

4. The other question is I'm guessing it was never clearly stated that this was a date, even though you both knew it was an informal date. Regardless women know whats up. She chose to bring Beta Brad with her.

How do you handle these things? I'd of flirted with another girl and made sure she saw or got up and left.
 
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kavi

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You just made me realize I'm asking for advice from a forum full of losers who have never come close to pulling what I've pulled and are quick to judge based on a post. Simp? Boy, you have no clue who I am. I need to get off this site.
Theres no point being upset, there are levels of men out there.

Quality girls all want to play these games, me included I've been in situations where women try to test like this, they seem to enjoy it. Your getting 'weird' advice from men on these forums because their only strategy is to avoid tough spots or semi-difficult situations so they are all saying should have isolated get one-to-one date.

If you look at this recent thread, the observations are that women have upped their game and arent impressed by 2005 badboy game.

You are seeing the advanced level of women ****-tests and these types of test u just got is more advanced than the simple ****-tests men were getting back in the day. This is what I am saying and women are saying that the gap in game betweem men and women is huge now.

Nothing particularly bad happened to you. This girl connecting to you via social circle, talking to you online, then meeting you with her friends around the first time not letting you get to close to run your 'bad boy isolation game' lols, and then on the second meeting you got set up to see how you react to another guy being present.

Now when that guy was present all you had to do was be cool and keep running Game. Your only concern and the only thing you need to think about and knw is whether that guy has more game than or more chance with her, which I doubt as otherwise this situation would not play out like it did. So he probs some random orbiter guy in her friend group which girls have lots but he is likely deep in the friendzone.
 

All_Kindz_Of_Gainz

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You just made me realize I'm asking for advice from a forum full of losers who have never come close to pulling what I've pulled and are quick to judge based on a post. Simp? Boy, you have no clue who I am. I need to get off this site.
Well, stop making rookie mistakes, I see that you way of thinking got you very far and got laid with this woman, you do pull a lot by the way you interact with them.

Another orbiter to the list.

Quality girls all want to play these games, me included I've been in situations where women try to test like this, they seem to enjoy it. Your getting 'weird' advice from men on these forums because their only strategy is to avoid tough spots or semi-difficult situations so they are all saying should have isolated get one-to-one date.
If you have other women in your life wanting to go out with you on 1-1, you wouldn't accept a date where another woman and her friends are included. The only guy who will accept those situations is the one with no other women in their life.



Like Rich Cooper says "Men make their life difficult and then they rationalize why"
 
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We_ArE_VeNOM

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You could have not agreed to going to that sports bar.
But you know how it is, man.

He was probably on a "She must really like me, she invited me to meet her at a bar" high, and wasn't thinking rationally.

After Friday night, the only acceptable get together with her was a one-on-one date. If you honestly didn't have enough time on Friday night to ask her out on a one-on-one date, perhaps you did need to go Mode One like @We_ArE_VeNOM would do.
Damn right.

She would have gotten Mode One'd during one of those text exchanges.

If she wasn't down with it, there wouldn't have been any desire to meet her at the bar or any other place.

See how MO would have saved time and prevented such bullsh!t?
 

BillyPilgrim

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But you know how it is, man.

He was probably on a "She must really like me, she invited me to meet her at a bar" high, and wasn't thinking rationally.



Damn right.

She would have gotten Mode One'd during one of those text exchanges.

If she wasn't down with it, there wouldn't have been any desire to meet her at the bar or any other place.

See how MO would have saved time and prevented such bullsh!t?
That's the thing though - this girl appeared to be specifically *avoiding* text (phone and FB messenger only) to avoid a potential mode one approach. I do Mode One over text as standard procedure as a meet prerequisite (and I'm willing to go one multiple dates, she just has to be open to that kind of approach), so this chick would've gotten screened out pretty quick. Actually, just her pic would have been a fat no due to her vibe.
 

Gamisch

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Judge her by her actions and not by her words. But yeah, women like this dgaf, smh.


So even though you traveled Lord knows how far to see her she couldn't get away from her friends for a couple of hours to have a drink with you one on one? I dont understand why you voluntary get in such a friendzone-ish situation. And even a second time I see. I bet you say YES to everything she suggests..

About the fighting part, because i expected a "more exciting " story ; part of being a man is protecting his love ones. There are countless examples of situations where you as a man must defend a woman. Could be a first date, could be your mother (or even women you dont know just be cautious with this one). Obviously you should pick these fights carefully if possible, but sometimes you must defend honour or life .

In this case fighting or aggression wasn't needed but i bet she observed your every move like a hawk. Ofcourse other dude is hunting the same prey even though he is deep in the Friendzone. You are probably dude nr too many who she brought along.

Next time you should tell her you prefer wher one on one or the deal is off. Will tell you all you need to know.
 

Gamisch

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Always black and white with some posters here. No room for deviation. You tell me bud. And I already expect the “oh she’s average” from the internet Don Juan’s from here.
So when you match with a woman yiu actually like, will you bring her to a date where all of your friends are?

Sounds indeed like a Friends type of setting. I cant imagine having a date with someone i really like only to to cackblock my damn self..because you know that's what she did right..she cackblocked you twice already.

If her interest level was higher you would've only met her friend between her legs named Kitty.
 

BillyPilgrim

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So when you match with a woman yiu actually like, will you bring her to a date where all of your friends are?

Sounds indeed like a Friends type of setting. I cant imagine having a date with someone i really like only to to cackblock my damn self..because you know that's what she did right..she cackblocked you twice already.

If her interest level was higher you would've only met her friend between her legs named Kitty.
I think this girl might have a complicated relationship with her friend Kitty.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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You've been here for a long time, saying you've had many women, have dated a lot, giving dating advise to others, and yet you're doing all the rookie mistakes like this is your first time?
:rofl:

Examples:
1. Getting to know her via phone and Facebook? Instead doing the getting to each other in person,
He shouldn't have been trying to build rapport with her in the first place.

Low level thinking.

and not being that available all the time.
I concur.

2. Going out with her and with a group of friends? Instead of going 1-1 date so you can seduce her and make things happen.
Yeah man, from what I've come to know about some of you guys; you are too DAMN social.

3. Not asking her who will be there in that boxing match? So when she says a couple of friends, you decline and tell her whenever she's available for a 1-1 date to let you know.
This^.

Real sh!t.

I had to break ties with one chick because I was trying to set up a movie date with her, which she was cool with...but she insisted on bringing her female cousin and her boyfriend.

Im like "Nawww, wtf do they gotta come"?

We both stuck to our guns and that was that.

The movie theatre is one of my favorite places to make out with a woman and I don't need any third, fourth, or fifth wheels fuking it up.

That's how orbiters and simps behave, they jump at the opportunity of getting to know a woman that they put on the pedestal.
Yuppp.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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That's the thing though - this girl appeared to be specifically *avoiding* text (phone and FB messenger only) to avoid a potential mode one approach.
"We've been chatting and getting to know each other via phone and instant messaging on Facebook."

Did I miss something?

I do Mode One over text as standard procedure as a meet prerequisite (and I'm willing to go one multiple dates, she just has to be open to that kind of approach)
Multiple dates with no physical contact tho?

, so this chick would've gotten screened out pretty quick.
Mode One as a screening process?

Interesting.

Very interesting indeed.

I think that can be a variation of the method itself.

I like it.

Actually, just her pic would have been a fat no due to her vibe.
Bro, the pic looks like it can be used as a fake ass spam/bots.

She is cute, admittedly.

But is she someone I would get at?

Nah.
 

SW15

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Reserved and manipulative. You learn how to read the eyes when you do OLD for any period of time.
Even though I did dating websites (prior to swipe apps) and dating apps at various points in the past, I did not learn to read eyes as you did. I'm glad I chose to stop using tech-based means of arranging dates.

this girl appeared to be specifically *avoiding* text (phone and FB messenger only) to avoid a potential mode one approach. I do Mode One over text as standard procedure as a meet prerequisite (and I'm willing to go one multiple dates, she just has to be open to that kind of approach), so this chick would've gotten screened out pretty quick.
I would have screened out over the advanced degree. It's very difficult to find the outlier case.

Phone calls are often better means of communication than text messages. Facebook Messenger is similar to text messaging but I don't like women connecting with me on social media prior to an in-person interaction too.

not being that available all the time.
Seeing her back-to-back nights without a one-on-one date is also not good.
 

BillyPilgrim

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"We've been chatting and getting to know each other via phone and instant messaging on Facebook."

Did I miss something?



Multiple dates with no physical contact tho?



Mode One as a screening process?

Interesting.

Very interesting indeed.

I think that can be a variation of the method itself.

I like it.



Bro, the pic looks like it can be used as a fake ass spam/bots.

She is cute, admittedly.

But is she someone I would get at?

Nah.
Can't really sext over phone if it's being used to established rapport (too formal) nor FB, as you could get easily get your profile reported since you're using the platform as an IM. Text is the standard platform for sexting, and women know this. That's why they say "no endless texting" or "let's cut to the chase and meet up" so often on OLD.

I always KINO from the initial in-person greeting.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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So when you match with a woman yiu actually like, will you bring her to a date where all of your friends are?

Sounds indeed like a Friends type of setting. I cant imagine having a date with someone i really like only to to cackblock my damn self..because you know that's what she did right..she cackblocked you twice already.
And when you REALLY think about it, she was str8 up on some ALPHA sh!t.

Imagine you are SO alpha with it, that you invite a chick to a bar and yall are hanging out...and then you invite another chick to come to the bar to hang out with y'all.

Next level sh!t.

If her interest level was higher you would've only met her friend between her legs named Kitty.
Facts.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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Can't really sext over phone if it's being used to established rapport (too formal) nor FB, as you could get easily get your profile reported since you're using the platform as an IM. Text is the standard platform for sexting, and women know this. That's why they say "no endless texting" or "let's cut to the chase and meet up" so often on OLD.

I always KINO from the initial in-person greeting.
Who is trying to sext tho?
 
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