Dongfu
Banned
- Joined
- May 22, 2007
- Messages
- 943
- Reaction score
- 5
Just joking - sorry couldn't resist
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Had my 1st 6-way with 5 Russian bisexual acrobat hotties
- Thread starter Dongfu
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Master Bates
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2007
- Messages
- 1,001
- Reaction score
- 10
those were trannies. and i'm not joking.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
- 4,476
- Reaction score
- 182
LOL, you are a 33 degree black belt master and founder of dongfu.
Should it be any real surprise to we mere mortals?
Should it be any real surprise to we mere mortals?
Dongfu
Banned
- Joined
- May 22, 2007
- Messages
- 943
- Reaction score
- 5
Thanks bro's for laughing with me. I wuz expecting some uptight azzholes to say something like, "This is a serious forum for people with serious problems and this post is completely inappropriate."
To thoze azzholes: sorry
To thoze azzholes: sorry
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Serialized3
Master Don Juan
DOOOOONGGGGGGGGGGG - FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!
*dragon kick*, *monkey punch*
*dragon kick*, *monkey punch*
Ace of Flames
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2006
- Messages
- 1,500
- Reaction score
- 16
Not to come across as an uptight azzhole or anything, because I'm all for bringing a little funny into this place, buuuuuut...
This wasn't funny. Sorry. You fail.
This wasn't funny. Sorry. You fail.
bigjohnson
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2007
- Messages
- 2,438
- Reaction score
- 38
"This is a serious forum for people with serious problems and this post is completely inappropriate."
Just for you.
Just for you.
navyseal2101
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2007
- Messages
- 554
- Reaction score
- 0
Dude you tricked me rrrr.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
God_of_getting_layed
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2003
- Messages
- 733
- Reaction score
- 0
Ban This Troll Now!!!!!
Dongfu
Banned
- Joined
- May 22, 2007
- Messages
- 943
- Reaction score
- 5
I actually do have a serious problem. I recently converted a lesbian back from the dark side, and now she is completely obsessed with me, stalking me and all. On top of this I have voodoo priestess stalking me and conjuring up all kinds of mischief to stiffle my other attempts with women, and i'm having a little trouble with the religious objection with this hottie from the healthfood store - she doesnt believe in dating, blah blah blah.bigjohnson said:
HHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPP HELP
DONG FU IS DOWN
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
- 4,476
- Reaction score
- 182
Master we will pray on the holy mountain to the shaolin gods of dong.Dongfu said:
Most assuredly they will aid you in your noble quest!
Dongfu
Banned
- Joined
- May 22, 2007
- Messages
- 943
- Reaction score
- 5
DONG ON deciple X - The day of redemption is soon at hand. Hail the second coming of the age of Dong.KontrollerX said:
I will keep the council informed of any further voodoo lesbian intrigue.
Monkey Punch?//
zerocelcius
Master Don Juan
For some reason I almost expected to see:
Ninja Out.
@ the bottom of this post...
Ninja Out.
@ the bottom of this post...
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
nicenomore
Senior Don Juan
Excuse me!
This is a serious forum for people with serious problems and this post is completely inappropriate OK!
sorry couldn't resist..
lolz.. kidding...
This is a serious forum for people with serious problems and this post is completely inappropriate OK!
sorry couldn't resist..
lolz.. kidding...
Randallpink83
Master Don Juan
this is a serious forum people.... I mean seriously this post is completely inappropriate... ABSURD!!! ABSURD on both counts... erroneous!!!
...anyone ever go on road trips and buy pringles?
...anyone ever go on road trips and buy pringles?
Dongfu
Banned
- Joined
- May 22, 2007
- Messages
- 943
- Reaction score
- 5
You mean like . . . pringle berriesRandallpink83 said:
Serialized3
Master Don Juan
I will meet you on the top of Mauna Kea to begin my training in the ancient art of DONG-FU mastery.
*keeeee-yaaaahhhh!*
*keeeee-yaaaahhhh!*
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
- 4,476
- Reaction score
- 182
To conclude tonights council meeting I will recite our orders ancient oath.
"May our dongs be strong and long!"
*Dissappears in a cloud of exploding dong-fu smoke vapor*
"May our dongs be strong and long!"
*Dissappears in a cloud of exploding dong-fu smoke vapor*
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.