You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Yeah that was my plan, small talk and see IL
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Why do you care about "screwing up"? Your just being social. Some will talk others wont. As usual go off of HER interest levels.
I dont like my mindset right now
So talk to someone else that you have no fear behind. Pedastal babe will degrade your confidence even more. Stick to females with an affinity.
Nah im smarter than that pedestal thing, but i am too anxious for my own good.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Get off that chick. We shouldn't be overthinking anyone. Your conversation needs to be fun. It doesnt have to be her. Talk to other babes.
Yep this is the way to go
Creepy to get a call out of the blue from someone you barely know and they went the tunnel method to get your number.
Well then you have 2 options. Either go through enough women so you can get yourself in a better place before messaging her, or message her and realize that she is one of many women you will gain experience from and any individual win or loss isnt really important in the grand scheme of things.
Don't be so certain of that...pedastalizing can be done in many ways...some of which you might not even realize.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Break down the various ways of pedastalizing?
OP mentioned he has high IL when they last met.