You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah that was my plan, small talk and see IL
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Why do you care about "screwing up"? Your just being social. Some will talk others wont. As usual go off of HER interest levels.
I dont like my mindset right now
So talk to someone else that you have no fear behind. Pedastal babe will degrade your confidence even more. Stick to females with an affinity.
Nah im smarter than that pedestal thing, but i am too anxious for my own good.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Get off that chick. We shouldn't be overthinking anyone. Your conversation needs to be fun. It doesnt have to be her. Talk to other babes.
Yep this is the way to go
Creepy to get a call out of the blue from someone you barely know and they went the tunnel method to get your number.
Well then you have 2 options. Either go through enough women so you can get yourself in a better place before messaging her, or message her and realize that she is one of many women you will gain experience from and any individual win or loss isnt really important in the grand scheme of things.
Don't be so certain of that...pedastalizing can be done in many ways...some of which you might not even realize.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Break down the various ways of pedastalizing?
OP mentioned he has high IL when they last met.