"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Buffalo Bills fan eats hot woman's ass in parking lot
- Thread starter backbreaker
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
what a brown-noser
SmooveMooves
Master Don Juan
Craziest fans lol
BetterCallSaul
Master Don Juan
I prefer eating from the front.
Who Dares Win
Master Don Juan
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What makes you think that she is hot? cause she is not fat?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
PantyWhisperer
Master Don Juan
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It's better with some hot Buffalo sauce.
Dust 2 Dust
Master Don Juan
Problem is once you eat her ass shell be expecting it every time you have sex. Remember fellas, once you've licked the crack you never go back.
Rainman4707
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How many of you guys would lick out a hot girls ass?
Who Dares Win
Master Don Juan
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Agree.
Again she has to be just out of the shower and her ass has to be perfect like pornstars from the 90s.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
LOL are those different than ones from the 2000's?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
PantyWhisperer
Master Don Juan
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No rhoids though - clean or not!
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
Totally depends on the hotness. It's impossible to make that call just in a general way.
YawataNoKami
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The Fuk............
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
1) The chick is not necessarily hot. She just doesn't have obvious fat on the small amount of skin she's showing.
2) Eating a girl's ass in a parking lot filled with other dudes increases the likelihood of accidentally swallowing some other dudes cream pie.
3) That dude is an idiot for showing his face like that.
4) Some girls actually don't like having a guys tongue up their ass, some girls do.
5) This is proof of the impending collapse of our society.
carry on...
2) Eating a girl's ass in a parking lot filled with other dudes increases the likelihood of accidentally swallowing some other dudes cream pie.
3) That dude is an idiot for showing his face like that.
4) Some girls actually don't like having a guys tongue up their ass, some girls do.
5) This is proof of the impending collapse of our society.
carry on...
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
How do you top this? Why throwing a dildo on the field in the middle of a game on CBS of course lol
Dudes in buffalo have to be thirsty as hell
Dudes in buffalo have to be thirsty as hell
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
PantyWhisperer
Master Don Juan
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LOL - I thought of this thread when I read about that on Pro Football talk!