“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

Rate my appearence

OngBak

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2023
Messages
294
Reaction score
108
Age
27
That's what I was thinking through this thread. I used to be a lot more attractive pre-covid, but the stress and lack of sleep messed me up pretty bad, made me look a lot older. I think you're coming from a perspective that understands me a bit better than everyone else here. I agree 100% that I'm not attractive enough yet. That's where I'm going but I need to do everything that's within my control.



We are getting there.
Are you taking any Supplements to support Stress and Sleep Quality? Stress and Sleep are crucial factors for general Health.
 

OngBak

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2023
Messages
294
Reaction score
108
Age
27
We've talked about this a lot in the time we've worked together, but I'll summarize it here for you:
  1. You want to do things your way, rather than take the advice you ask for
  2. We'd made some stylistic improvements, which you haven't stuck with
  3. You tend to go into interview mode during every approach
But this is your biggest problem:
  1. YOU DON'T APPROACH ENOUGH WOMEN
Ask @nicksaiz65 how many women he would approach per night when he went out. You need to go out of your way to spend a reasonable amount of time talking to women to get the result you're looking for. It will not happen if you only spent 30 minutes at a bar and talk to 1 girl every weekend, and maybe 1 or 2 women in a grocery store per week.

I believe this approach is your ONLY avenue.

You are not going to compete with younger guys in the looks department. You do not have a social media presence or any level of fame or status that can be showcased beyond the fact that you own your business (which I've told you before that you SHOULD showcase). There is nothing that is bringing these girls to YOU, so you have to go to THEM.

And you have to overcompensate in some department to be an attractive enough candidate that a younger woman will overlook societal norms and expectations, along with the ease and convenience of attracting somebody closer to her age in her immediate vicinity at college.

From a purely looks perspective, I think you're about a 5.

I think a lot of people are blowing smoke up your a** to be polite here, and I don't think it's doing you any favors, because they're basically all telling you "you're fine" and you're still left wondering where the disconnect is.

You're not unattractive, but you're not particularly attractive either, and you HAVE TO BE particularly attractive to do what you want to do. I think you can and should style your hair better, dress sharper with clothes that fit you well, and continue going to the gym to work on your physique.

That's my tough love/2 cents. I think being honest with yourself is the only way to improve.
True, I adressed this before, some wont tell him the truth and there is nothing wrong about asking how you look. Feedback can lead to improvement, what matters is that you do the necessary improvements when you are unsatisfied and got the genuine Feedback about your looks. It starts with skin care, how you dress, grooming, demeanor, Gym etc.
 
  • Like
Reactions: BPH

Travel memoir21

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
1,863
Reaction score
1,068
Age
40
Location
Rio Grande Valley, Texas
Imagine if you felt like a million bucks each day and know how to cultivate this state of mind each day, I doubt your appearance would matter compared to this aura. It’s really a vibe at the end of the day, ya gotta take a hard look in the mirror and examine your lifestyle, habits and addictions that’s preventing you from being the man you were destined to be. You can do this, this whole board is cheering for you.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,896
Reaction score
1,794
Age
42
Imagine if you felt like a million bucks each day and know how to cultivate this state of mind each day, I doubt your appearance would matter compared to this aura. It’s really a vibe at the end of the day, ya gotta take a hard look in the mirror and examine your lifestyle, habits and addictions that’s preventing you from being the man you were destined to be. You can do this, this whole board is cheering for you.
That's a good point, and one I've said before. How you feel about yourself has a big impact on how you look.

From a purely looks perspective, I think you're about a 5.
here's another way to put it. I'm a 2/10 with my target range and a 7.5/10 with everyone else.
 

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
3,732
Reaction score
2,666
Location
Wilmington, DE
There's nothing wrong with his face, isn't obese, he's articulate, doesn't give off bad/angry man/loser vibes.
There's nothing glaringly wrong, but there's nothing so exceptional that he's gonna pull college girls when they can walk to the nearest frat party and have Chad Thundercock in Kappa Sig pipe her out.

I said 5, that is average, right in the middle, dictionary definition of the median.

Know what else the average man experiences? 24-31% of men in their early 20s haven't had sex in the past year.

Tack on another 20 years, and he's fighting an uphill battle.

There's a great book called Mindset: The New Psychology by Carol Dweck. She describes how it's not useful to tell people they're "perfect" because if they believe there's no room for improvement, yet they're still coming up short of a desired result, they won't seek to improve because they'll believe what everybody's been telling them - and that disconnect prevents growth.

You yourself said that girls you approach in college bars go cold on you (despite a good start) when they find out your age. And you're what, 10yrs younger than Plinco?
So what's so surprising that girls of the same age approached by Plinco in the grocery/clothes store would just ignore him or try to get rid of him asap, thinking all the time something along the lines of 'what's with this weird old guy?'.
That is correct, but the difference is I'd been working with @Plinco for several months, so you'll have to trust me when I say I have a better understanding of where things are going wrong than you would just by watching some of his YouTube videos.

I PREFER younger women, but hot is hot...the girl I saw Monday and Thursday this week was 26, the one from my recent lay report was 24. @Plinco strongly prefers younger women, and I have advised him of this difficulty, but he sees it simply as a challenge to overcome in order to prove others wrong - something I've also advised is not worth the effort if the goal is to spite others more than it is to achieve his version of happiness.

TL;DR I'm 6ft, 225lbs, good-looking, and extremely experienced with cold approach. If I am having all these problems with college-aged women, simply because I'm 10 years old, @Plinco is going to have significantly more problems when you double that number.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
5,353
Reaction score
7,790
Age
57
There's nothing glaringly wrong, but there's nothing so exceptional that he's gonna pull college girls when they can walk to the nearest frat party and have Chad Thundercock in Kappa Sig pipe her out.

I said 5, that is average, right in the middle, dictionary definition of the median.

Know what else the average man experiences? 24-31% of men in their early 20s haven't had sex in the past year.

Tack on another 20 years, and he's fighting an uphill battle.

There's a great book called Mindset: The New Psychology by Carol Dweck. She describes how it's not useful to tell people they're "perfect" because if they believe there's no room for improvement, yet they're still coming up short of a desired result, they won't seek to improve because they'll believe what everybody's been telling them - and that disconnect prevents growth.



That is correct, but the difference is I'd been working with @Plinco for several months, so you'll have to trust me when I say I have a better understanding of where things are going wrong than you would just by watching some of his YouTube videos.

I PREFER younger women, but hot is hot...the girl I saw Monday and Thursday this week was 26, the one from my recent lay report was 24. @Plinco strongly prefers younger women, and I have advised him of this difficulty, but he sees it simply as a challenge to overcome in order to prove others wrong - something I've also advised is not worth the effort if the goal is to spite others more than it is to achieve his version of happiness.

TL;DR I'm 6ft, 225lbs, good-looking, and extremely experienced with cold approach. If I am having all these problems with college-aged women, simply because I'm 10 years old, @Plinco is going to have significantly more problems when you double that number.
I have met @BPH as some may know. His prospects are objectively much higher with girls 21-28 than @Plinco as he is good looking (an 8 is accurate), is in his early 30s, so much smaller age gap, has his physique on point, is at ease socially and well dressed. He has a young energy look, a sharp haircut and an attractive face & smile. My friend's daughter is 24 and expressed interest in @BPH but she was not his type although she is a thin attractive gal.

I do think a sharp haircut would do @Plinco some good as others have suggested. Either that or grow it long (but a short cut will have wider appeal than long hair)....

Let me ask a different question....What girls ARE showing interest in you @Plinco ? Some women are. Who?
 
  • Like
Reactions: BPH

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,896
Reaction score
1,794
Age
42
in order to prove others wrong - something I've also advised is not worth the effort if the goal is to spite others more than it is to achieve his version of happiness.
I've told you at least twice that proving others wrong was icing on the cake, not the main drive. Being around young women makes me happier because basically I'm a 19 year old dude in a 42 year old man's body.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,896
Reaction score
1,794
Age
42
Let me ask a different question....What girls ARE showing interest in you @Plinco ? Some women are. Who?
I used to get a lot more ioi prior to 2020; I was in much better shape with my life then. Now, I rarely get any attention from women. Sometimes from a woman that I'm not at all interested in. With my target demographic, extremely rare, and not strong interest at that. That means I have a lot of work to do.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,896
Reaction score
1,794
Age
42
Yes this is another critical thing many guys miss. You have to know what you are looking for before you can actually find it.

It would be like just going out and saying I want to get a job without knowing what type of job you want, what skills you actually have that are relevant to the job and then going on tons of interviews where you have no chance of either side being a good fit for one another because you are a fast food worker applying for a NASA Engineering position.
So to apply that metaphor to me, I'm a NASA engineer with that skill set working in fast food.

After I graduated from college, I had a heck of a time finding an entry level position because my prior work experience wasn't marketable to the job market I was seeking. I had to talk to a lot of people and drive out to Orlando many times before I finally found a job that I could finally prove myself.
 

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
3,732
Reaction score
2,666
Location
Wilmington, DE
I've told you at least twice that proving others wrong was icing on the cake, not the main drive. Being around young women makes me happier because basically I'm a 19 year old dude in a 42 year old man's body.
And I'd told you that you don't have to "mute" your personality, but you should seek to selectively show off what will improve your chances with these women. You don't have to be a walking billboard for how you feel.

For example, I'm a huge gamer nerd, but I'd never be caught dead walking around wearing some Halo, Call of Duty, or Fortnite shirt.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,896
Reaction score
1,794
Age
42
And I'd told you that you don't have to "mute" your personality, but you should seek to selectively show off what will improve your chances with these women. You don't have to be a walking billboard for how you feel.

For example, I'm a huge gamer nerd, but I'd never be caught dead walking around wearing some Halo, Call of Duty, or Fortnite shirt.
That's correct, and an important matter of effectiveness. However what will improve or hurt my image is not something I'm a good judge on. That's why I came to you. Years ago it wasn't a problem. I used to p!ss people off from time to time just telling them the truth, or being candid with them, but now that my smv has declined so much I needed the extra help.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,896
Reaction score
1,794
Age
42
@BPH @BeExcellent
Here's another way to put it. I need to be able to be effective at emotionally connect with people at my level. That means I have to be attractive to my target, which according to you two, means I have to over compensate drastically in every other area of my life.

Upgrading my appearance is the most potent thing I can do on a weekend. Everything else takes years to do. I have to do these things because I don't have much of a choice. There are some older women whom I'm attracted to, but most of them don't have the energy to turn me on sexually.

To see and hear people tell me that I'm too old for who I am stresses me out so much so that I feel pains in my chest thinking about because to be too old in the eyes of people is not a factor that I can control. I also lose a lot of sleep over it too. If my problem was something I have control over, like being good at cold approaching, or making more money, I wouldn't lose sleep over that because I would know what I need to do. What do you do about being too old in the eyes of other people? I want to get my relationship life started out and have a family. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to do it short of submitting to some 'authority' figure.
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
4,003
Reaction score
1,645
Age
29
@BPH @BeExcellent
Here's another way to put it. I need to be able to be effective at emotionally connect with people at my level. That means I have to be attractive to my target, which according to you two, means I have to over compensate drastically in every other area of my life.

Upgrading my appearance is the most potent thing I can do on a weekend. Everything else takes years to do. I have to do these things because I don't have much of a choice. There are some older women whom I'm attracted to, but most of them don't have the energy to turn me on sexually.

To see and hear people tell me that I'm too old for who I am stresses me out so much so that I feel pains in my chest thinking about because to be too old in the eyes of people is not a factor that I can control. I also lose a lot of sleep over it too. If my problem was something I have control over, like being good at cold approaching, or making more money, I wouldn't lose sleep over that because I would know what I need to do. What do you do about being too old in the eyes of other people? I want to get my relationship life started out and have a family. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to do it short of submitting to some 'authority' figure.
I don’t think you’re too old to do it. But I think it would take making a good bit of money and a lot of approaches plus looksmaxxing like others have suggested here, in my opinion. It’s not unheard of for girls to be with guys older than them.

Just my 2 cents
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,402
Reaction score
18,433
@BPH @BeExcellent
Here's another way to put it. I need to be able to be effective at emotionally connect with people at my level. That means I have to be attractive to my target, which according to you two, means I have to over compensate drastically in every other area of my life.

Upgrading my appearance is the most potent thing I can do on a weekend. Everything else takes years to do. I have to do these things because I don't have much of a choice. There are some older women whom I'm attracted to, but most of them don't have the energy to turn me on sexually.

To see and hear people tell me that I'm too old for who I am stresses me out so much so that I feel pains in my chest thinking about because to be too old in the eyes of people is not a factor that I can control. I also lose a lot of sleep over it too. If my problem was something I have control over, like being good at cold approaching, or making more money, I wouldn't lose sleep over that because I would know what I need to do. What do you do about being too old in the eyes of other people? I want to get my relationship life started out and have a family. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to do it short of submitting to some 'authority' figure.
You need to completely reconfigure your mindset but if you think the other stuff takes years, this will take decades unless you spend a significant amount of time really going deep into areas of yourself that you don't want to go into.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,896
Reaction score
1,794
Age
42
You need to completely reconfigure your mindset but if you think the other stuff takes years, this will take decades unless you spend a significant amount of time really going deep into areas of yourself that you don't want to go into.
The best mindset I've configured is to look at it like an adventure and a set of challenges to overcome. I can't complain about my life being boring. Since I have good taste in women, then I get the privilege of meeting and approaching hot women. As long as I'm willing to stay busy, I can't be lonely. As far as making money is concerned, I'm in the position to increase my income with the work of advertising and scaling my business, so in the long term I have the option of being more well off that way. I think I'm a smart dude, I'm a natural extrovert, I'm in excellent shape for my age, and apparently according to feedback I'm not bad looking either.

You and I had a discussion before were you thought I had a mentality problem and I trolled you a bit to see if we can get to the essence of your point of view, which I think is using conformity as a standard for maturity, social, and mental health. Otherwise I don't know what you mean by re-configuring my mindset.

I don’t think you’re too old to do it. But I think it would take making a good bit of money and a lot of approaches plus looksmaxxing like others have suggested here, in my opinion. It’s not unheard of for girls to be with guys older than them.

Just my 2 cents
I appreciate the confidence buddy!
 
Last edited:

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,402
Reaction score
18,433
The best mindset I've configured is to look at it like an adventure and a set of challenges to overcome. I can't complain about my life being boring. Since I have good taste in women, then I get the privilege of meeting and approaching hot women. As long as I'm willing to stay busy, I can't be lonely. As far as making money is concerned, I'm in the position to increase my income with the work of advertising and scaling my business, so in the long term I have the option of being more well off that way. I think I'm a smart dude, I'm a natural extrovert, I'm in excellent shape for my age, and apparently according to feedback I'm not bad looking either.

You and I had a discussion before were you thought I had a mentality problem and I trolled you a bit to see if we can get to the essence of your point of view, which I think is using conformity as a standard for maturity, social, and mental health. Otherwise I don't know what you mean by re-configuring my mindset.



I appreciate the confidence buddy!
I'm talking more about the stress you are putting on yourself about what others think about you.

Who cares? You can never get to the place you want to go when this is the base mindset you have where other people's opinions cause debilitating stress and anxiety.
 

plumber

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2022
Messages
849
Reaction score
696
its all very simple. marketing 101, you don't adjust the buyer to buy. you figure out what they want and deliver that. if you can do that with solid delivery your a winner.

it more or less a hallucination to think that a 18 years old woman will get interested in the physical attributes of a 55 years old man. its possible, but not likely. she often will get interested in what he can do and provide. so its a reality check.

i see it all the time; 18-25 years old very interested in 60+ guys. even if the guy is in great shape and competing in combat sports he does not look like he is 30-.

play the game that fits for the season of life you are in. i guarantee that the 30- wishes he could do what the 60+ can do in other areas across the board. the women will pick from what they need/want at the moment. play the game you are set to win, and go ahead and win. ever see a young man pretend to be rich... its like an old man pretending to be young. silly....

if you want young women you can have them. but don't fool yourself as to why...

if you send me your link.. I'll feedback to you about how you would do in my area.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,896
Reaction score
1,794
Age
42
its all very simple. marketing 101, you don't adjust the buyer to buy. you figure out what they want and deliver that. if you can do that with solid delivery your a winner.

it more or less a hallucination to think that a 18 years old woman will get interested in the physical attributes of a 55 years old man. its possible, but not likely. she often will get interested in what he can do and provide. so its a reality check.

i see it all the time; 18-25 years old very interested in 60+ guys. even if the guy is in great shape and competing in combat sports he does not look like he is 30-.

play the game that fits for the season of life you are in. i guarantee that the 30- wishes he could do what the 60+ can do in other areas across the board. the women will pick from what they need/want at the moment. play the game you are set to win, and go ahead and win. ever see a young man pretend to be rich... its like an old man pretending to be young. silly....

if you want young women you can have them. but don't fool yourself as to why...

if you send me your link.. I'll feedback to you about how you would do in my area.
That's basically the angle I'm taking. What do I have to do to be attractive to young ladies (?). I'm not developed "normally" so intellectually I'm past 42 but socially/emotionally I'm like 19-ish. I'm not going out of my way to act like that, I enjoy doing those things because I'm guessing that I don't feel like I'm past them or feel physically old. It's easier to have intimate conversations with either women in their late teens or women who have mental problems. Intellectually, conversations go further with high IQ people.

I'm talking more about the stress you are putting on yourself about what others think about you.

Who cares? You can never get to the place you want to go when this is the base mindset you have where other people's opinions cause debilitating stress and anxiety.
I'm a control freak and if something is important enough to me I don't like to let it slide.
 

Cheeky_James

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
395
Reaction score
177
Age
42
So the question is, what do I have to do to attract the girls less than half my age. Social expectations can go to hell.
Maybe try put yourself in the shoes of the 20s age bracket women.
What’s your Value to them at 42 years old vs their age bracket guys?

Financial position - (?) possible Sugar daddy, perks such as dinners, presents, hotels, holidays etc
Assets - House (?) , boat (?)
Status - (?) any leverage there.? Green Card / Visa opportunity
Sexual - more experienced in bed, kinkier than the younger guys, maybe a Dom-Sub type deal, swinger lifestyle, poly lifestyles. idk (?)
Maturity - older , more spirtual guy mayhe , some kind of teacher , eg Tantric teacher dude.

I wouldn’t worry about you physical looks as much as how you dress in terms of Higher Status wear tbh. And more focus on the status dynamic , ie Teacher - Student dynamic , Dom -Sub dynamic.

Who may be interested in the above package deal …
Foreign women
Asian women, as it’s a bit more acceptable in their culture afaik.
Kink /Swinger chicks bored with their age bracket dudes, looking for a Dom / Kinky Swinger guy
Outlier chicks…alternative types…spiritual types.

maybe check out a Skilled Seducer user named ‘D. Gately ‘ he pulls much younger women (apparently) and dresses immaculately in designer suits always as part of his deal. And is a kinky swingster I think too. He has a ‘seducer of the month’ interview w Chase , that has a lot of info,

you won’t be appealing to most in the 20s bracket tbh ime. Theyll be looking in their bracket for BFs and F-Boys. I see your batting 1 in 100 in approaches….so the evidence is there.

CJ

Ps oh snap. I see the last few posts heading this way now…also I tried that website I got a 77/100 . Pretty accurate imo :cool:
 
Last edited:
Top