I Don't Fight Over Women

[dude99]

She brought a date to a date.

This.

The dude Is an orbiter. She wants to add you to her orbiter pile.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

Completely disrespectful on her part.

Why exactly? She's just acting how women do. You're an old timer here, you should know women love attention, and its a validation seeking machine with no end.

She wanted to have all the attention for her with guys, but if you see at the end, they're all orbiters. How can you blame a bee for sting you? That's what they do.

He allowed himself to be in that place of another orbiter, women act as $hitty as you let them. She was just reflecting his $hitty behavior back to him as being just another $hitty orbiter who jumped at the chance of seeing her, at least one more time with expectations of something happening, women sniff it from miles away.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I recently met a woman through a mutual friend. From the sounds of it, she's a high value woman (on paper) and very attractive. We've been chatting and getting to know each other via phone and instant messaging on Facebook and we finally had a chance to go out on Friday night. It was me, her and 3 of her friends (2 female, 1 male). We all had a good time at the local bars just hanging out. I got a little 1 on 1 time with her but not enough to make anything happen. The next day she invited me out to a sports bar to watch a big boxing match. I assumed it would just be her and her friends again. When I arrived, she had a guy with her. I shook everyone's hand and made sure I remained social with everyone. I got the opportunity to ask her girl friend what the situation is between her and that guy and she said it's just her friend. The guy monopolized her attention and I could tell he was being a bit protective when I would initiate conversation with her. It was clear he liked her more than just a friend. It made things awkward so I decided after the fight to just head somewhere else. I'm really at odds about how this played out and I'm not sure what else I could've done. Yes, talking to another woman at the bar would have probably been the best option but when her friend said the guy and her are just friends, I felt it could've killed my chances with her.

Thoughts?

I dont know man...... social circle game/double and tripple dates never worked out for me.

Isolate and escalate all day, everything else just ended me up friendzoned or just wasted my time.

Inviting two interested men on a party and making them fight over her is a biatchmove...... thats what girls used to pull in highschool.

For me this is a clear sign of low interest -> NEXT

 

[The Duke]

You don't waste time, with MODE ONE.

You don't waste time on the front end, but if you want something more than a girl that is horny for some dihk then good luck, you'll be wasting a lot of time.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Why exactly? She's just acting how women do. You're an old timer here, you should know women love attention, and its a validation seeking machine with no end.

*some women. And, what's your point?

Yes, she gets away with a lot of disrespectful behavior because of her looks. Doesn't mean it's okay and isn't disrespectful.

She wanted to have all the attention for her with guys, but if you see at the end, they're all orbiters. How can you blame a bee for sting you? That's what they do.

So....again...what are you trying to say here?

I'm not sure you understood my post.

He allowed himself to be in that place of another orbiter, women act as $hitty as you let them. She was just reflecting his $hitty behavior back to him as being just another $hitty orbiter who jumped at the chance of seeing her, at least one more time with expectations of something happening, women sniff it from miles away.

There we go. I agree with you here.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

Yes, she gets away with a lot of disrespectful behavior because of her looks. Doesn't mean it's okay and isn't disrespectful.

Why was it disrespectful? She's not committed to any of those guys. From the girl's POV she just invited two of her "friends" to watch a boxing match. From the guy's POV is disrespectful cause he was full of expectations. See the difference?

Imagine an alternate reality where another guy told her no, that they'll go on a 1-1 date. Then that guy post in here how he met this gal they have fun, date was fun, they hooked up, and then she's chasing him.

Two different scenarios, same woman. Moral of the story, women change behavior when they are attracted to a guy.

 

[kavi]

Some the guys here omg this is so far off. We dont even know this guy may have just been some guy in the group who for whatever reason turned up and invited himself. Clearly this wasnt meant to be a 1-1 date. Some guys say never hang out with women in friend groups always 1-1 the thing is for quality guys it is better to hang in a group with the girl sometimes cos its a chance to show off your social skills and remain aloof and these sitautions can be opportunities rather than obstacles for the right guy. So for instance if the right guy can 'impress' the woman here show he is better than the other guy and handle the situation well he will soon get a 1-1 date.

But all these 'pressure tactics' like getting 1-2-1 dates, not texting, isolating quickly these are tactics for low value guys it is just beginner beginner level.

Mode 1 is ok but you are not differentiating yourself from other guys cos anyone can do it. If the girl wants D it might work but you wont get anything long term or meaningful out of it.

I thought we were pass the stage of putting pssy on a pedestal.

Look at whats happening out there in relationships. That is the result of all these beliefs ppl had over the past 20years. Because of these beliefs and behaviours what everyone was doing just trying to get laid, pua tactics whatever just led to the current state of relationships and men seem to be getting less and less respect from women.

Pretty soon none of these PUA pressure tactics will even work at all for quality girls and these tactics will only work on lower quality women.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Why was it disrespectful? She's not committed to any of those guys. From the girl's POV she just invited two of her "friends" to watch a boxing match. From the guy's POV is disrespectful cause he was full of expectations. See the difference?

From the girl's POV, she KNEW he was into her. So, if she didn't like him, she could have let him off easy, or toy with him.

Looks like she chose the latter.

In this situation, some women would have better things to do. Some women would see an opportunity to use someone for their personal enjoyment/gain. NAWALT.

Again, in different terminology:
Human nature is human nature. Some people will sense a weakness in someone and try to exploit it, some will maybe even help, some will just part directions and go their own way.

Imagine an alternate reality where another guy told her no, that they'll go on a 1-1 date. Then that guy post in here how he met this gal they have fun, date was fun, they hooked up, and then she's chasing him.

Two different scenarios, same woman. Moral of the story, women change behavior when they are attracted to a guy.

No kidding.

Again, sounds to me like you didn't fully understand my post. You're preaching to the choir over here.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Some the guys here omg this is so far off. We dont even know this guy may have just been some guy in the group who for whatever reason turned up and invited himself. Clearly this wasnt meant to be a 1-1 date. .

I know what you're saying here. However, it wasn't clear to the OP. And that was the crux of the issue IMO. I've been on dates where other people were there, however, I knew what I was walking into. For her to blatantly surprise him like this, there is problem somewhere along the lines. I've got better things to do with my time than to be forced to talk to and entertain people I have no interest in talking to.

His fault? Her fault? Different schools of thought obviously...

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

So, if she didn't like him, she could have let him off easy, or toy with him.

You sound like Fresh & Fit trying to make women accountable, since when that has worked? You should know women don't use over communication, they just want a guy who gets it, he didn't get it and now we label the woman as "disrespectful" because she didn't tell him "Hey I know you're into me, but I'm seeing other guys as well, who I perceive are better than you, I don't see you as fvck material, I see you as orbiter material" The medium is the message.

He didn't get it, she was falling into the stronger frame, which is her frame.

 

[kavi]

I know what you're saying here. However, it wasn't clear to the OP. And that was the crux of the issue IMO. I've been on dates where other people were there, however, I knew what I was walking into. For her to blatantly surprise him like this, there is problem somewhere along the lines. I've got better things to do with my time than to be forced to talk to and entertain people I have no interest in talking to.

His fault? Her fault? Different schools of thought obviously...

He knew it wasnt a 1-1 thing

The next day she invited me out to a sports bar to watch a big boxing match. I assumed it would just be her and her friends again. When I arrived, she had a guy with her.

But tbh the girl and the guy friend it is all about the body language and wether the girl was giving the guy friend more attention. Cos we dont really know he may have just invited himself and he may also be annoying her or it could be that the girl was herself giving the male friend more attention.It all depends on the girls behaviour and body language and whatnot like was she more interested in the guy friend and talking to him and ignoring OP or was it just the guy friend trying to get close to the girl.

 

[kavi]

You sound like Fresh & Fit trying to make women accountable, since when that has worked? You should know women don't use over communication, they just want a guy who gets it, he didn't get it and now we label the woman as "disrespectful" because she didn't tell him "Hey I know you're into me, but I'm seeing other guys as well, who I perceive are better than you, I don't see you as fvck material, I see you as orbiter material" The medium is the message.

He didn't get it, she was falling into the stronger frame, which is her frame.

I dont think the situation necessarily implies OP was friendzoned or anything like that. She is not 'seeing other guys' as that other guy is just a friend orbiter who she has probs known for some time and he maybe likes her like and for now that guy is in the friendzone. OP should have already known he is in a better position than the other guy given that ppl are setting up OP with the girl while that other guy was in the friendzone.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

You sound like Fresh & Fit trying to make women accountable, since when that has worked? You should know women don't use over communication, they just want a guy who gets it, he didn't get it and now we label the woman as "disrespectful" because she didn't tell him "Hey I know you're into me, but I'm seeing other guys as well, who I perceive are better than you, I don't see you as fvck material, I see you as orbiter material" The medium is the message.

He didn't get it, she was falling into the stronger frame, which is her frame.

Seems to me like you're arguing for the sake of arguing...talking in circles without trying to understand what the other person is saying. Essentially leading the conversation nowhere.

 

[The Duke]

I see a certain rationale that raises flags for me. Some men accept low quality female behavior because of their nature and blame the man. I understand that and it's valid, but it's not holding women accountable. It's as bad as beta males tolerating too much. One side doesn't get it, the other side does and says it's ok. Both tolerate to get the pu$$y.

 

[mikedee]

They were unattractive…
Don’t ask another dumb question man like why is a hot girl hanging out with unattractive females. Because how the hell would I know.

Hot girls with unattractive female friends, very common.

 

[Slowhandluke]

If OP wants to smash her, all he has to do is break her confidence by sleeping with one of her ugly friends and show how much better and more desirable he is than her.

She is low quality and she has issues with self confidence. She needs validation and that is why she got two guys together that she KNOWS like her.

Girls are not that stupid. They know what they are doing. Heck, if it was a mistake, why didnt she do anything to make everyone more at ease during the date. Instead, she let "the hunger games continue".

Smash her friends... hit on her friends and other females. The more conquests, the more she will hate the OP. So much hate that she will want to F the OP. She likes players because they treat her like a nobody. You will need to be a player like that to get into her pants.

She is not LTR material. Obviously, that is why she is still single even though she is somewhat attractive.

 

[RazorRambo24]

1) she's not inviting you on a date.. get the memo yet? She's calling u to casual hangouts with her friends. Can't be upset at her inviting you to casual hangouts with her friends. she has no obligation to be alone..

2) she might be a little dense to not realize you like her, or you just haven't made it clear enough

3) As a man, traditionally, you are the one whos supposed to invite HER on a date. duh? Women don't set up dates, hence shes probably just feeling you out right now, and waiting for YOU to invite HER out.

4) She obviously thinks you're cool enough to invite you out and spend time with you. But you need to make a move otherwise you won't know where her head is at. i mean do you not have any cues or signs to how she feels about you?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

1) she's not inviting you on a date.. get the memo yet? She's calling u to casual hangouts with her friends. Can't be upset at her inviting you to casual hangouts with her friends. she has no obligation to be alone..

2) she might be a little dense to not realize you like her, or you just haven't made it clear enough

3) As a man, traditionally, you are the one whos supposed to invite HER on a date. duh? Women don't set up dates, hence shes probably just feeling you out right now, and waiting for YOU to invite HER out.

4) She obviously thinks you're cool enough to invite you out and spend time with you. But you need to make a move otherwise you won't know where her head is at. i mean do you not have any cues or signs to how she feels about you?

@Slowhandluke What we have here is a failure to communicate.

 

[RazorRambo24]

@Slowhandluke What we have here is a failure to communicate.

The other thing I forgot to mention is some women will bring you around their friends to see what their friends think about you and whether you will vibe with their friends. A good sign that she's looking for something more serious and not just a fling. Seems like a good gal with a good head on her shoulders tbh.. from the little we know.

 

[Slowhandluke]

The other thing I forgot to mention is some women will bring you around their friends to see what their friends think about you and whether you will vibe with their friends. A good sign that she's looking for something more serious and not just a fling. Seems like a good gal with a good head on her shoulders tbh.. from the little we know.

She's playing games consciously or subconsciously. If she is a good girl, why hasn't she been married or in a ltr? If she hasn't found the "one", why hasn't she? Unrealistic standards or is she just picking guys that don't commit?


Most people who are attractive, hang arround other attractive people (birds of a feather, flock together). My life experiences have shown to me those that hang with mostly people lower quality than themselves- that is a red flag. Something is wrong with them especially if they are not nice. She is not nice and from the looks of it, her friends are not either. It's like Amanda heard. Most of her friends are ugly and we know what kind of person Amanda heard is - narcissistic.

In any case, that is my opinion. Whatever...