Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
In your experience, you would have got some nasty responses with openers like 'wanna ****', but nobody threatened to call the police. What are some of the nasty responses you got? Suppose a woman really does call the police?dbot said:However, if she tells you to get lost and you continue to bother her, that is harassment.
It seemed to be the smartest approach because you are playing a direct number's game. If you are looking for sex, then you are being straight. There is no 'game-playing' or any nonsence to get to that goal.dbot said:The bottom line? Asking a stranger if she wants to fuck is definitely not the smartest approach, but so long as you respect your boundaries, I wouldn't worry too much about any serious legal consequences.
The other poster lives in New York City, USA, which is supposed to be crowded. This means, there is a risk you could get into trouble with the law.dbot said:I also live in Southern California, so don't assume this applies to you if you're living in a small, conservative town in Utah, for example.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
corrector said:The other poster lives in New York City, USA, which is supposed to be crowded. This means, there is a risk you could get into trouble with the law.
Even if you are right -- you are going to tell the cops you all you are doing is asking women out there in public if they want to have sex with you? You could still get charged with loitering and being a public nuisance.
Want to play the numbers game? Try this one:corrector said:It seemed to be the smartest approach because you are playing a direct number's game. If you are looking for sex, then you are being straight. There is no 'game-playing' or any nonsence to get to that goal.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Thank-you dbot.dbot said:Want to play the numbers game? Try this one:
"Hi, what's your name?"
"Rebecca."
"Rebecca, sorry if I'm being rather forward, but I happen to find you extremely attractive. Want to come home with me?"
I'm willing to bet you'll be much more effective saying that as opposed to "hey wanna fuck?" You also won't receive nearly as many negative responses.
As far as negative responses I got when I did this, most women just turned and walked away. A few called me an asshole or something similar. Others laughed or rolled their eyes in a condescending manner.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.