This girl is confusing

[GoodOne123]

So I go out to club again.

I see this good looking girl standing alone as she looks and smiles at me.

I'm step over. I am blunt and frank, and say that shes my type and I'd like to kiss her.

She says that her friends are leaving and must go. She points to her friends all walking out the club.

But she says really flirty that she will put her number in my phone and will let me find out sometime what it's like to kiss her.

So I text her a bit next day. It's fun and flirty going back and forth.

But she then asks me what my surname is. I give it. (I thought it was a bit weird she asked my surname)

I then ask what her surname is.

She has not replied in hours.

Wtf is going on here? Why she ask my surname? Why she not replied yet?

 

[TheGambino]

She is not sure about you and wants to look you up on Facebook. Or she wants to brag to her friends about attention from you and wants to show pictures.

One thing is for sure, low interest.

 

[TheProspect]

This girl you just met hasn’t replied to your text message after a few hours and she already has your mind spinning.

Do you see the problem here?

 

[GoodOne123]

See this is why I get frustrated sometimes.

I meet Girls, they give me strong interest when I meet them. But then after that it's a big rollercoaster ride.

They manipulate and play games, or are disingenuine and misleading.

I do need to get my needs met, and I do know I want to have multiple plates. I actually care about these things, which is why the games the girls play can affect me.

Do I just need to become numb to all of their cr@p over time? Just accept that all of them are unreliable initially untill proven otherwise?

 

[TheGambino]

Just Wait man, she Will reply back soon. Ask her When shes free to get a drink together and dont think too much in iT.

 

[lizardking82]

The only problem here is this thread should not exist. This is a remote sex possibility at best and you create a whole thread for it. Though, I understand, it's something else underlying that worries you, not this girl or this case. So maybe if you can come out clean about that, we could be of some help.

 

[jaymbrs]

Sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do. This will happen a thousand more times in your life with "nobody bitches". It's frustrating but it's how it is. No need to try and "figure it out".

 

[marmel75]

She isnt confusing at all. Simply not that interested.

 

[TheProspect]

See this is why I get frustrated sometimes.

I meet Girls, they give me strong interest when I meet them. But then after that it's a big rollercoaster ride.

They manipulate and play games, or are disingenuine and misleading.

I do need to get my needs met, and I do know I want to have multiple plates. I actually care about these things, which is why the games the girls play can affect me.

Do I just need to become numb to all of their cr@p over time? Just accept that all of them are unreliable initially untill proven otherwise?

You are emotionally investing way too much way too early, instead of being outcome independent. You have to be truly indifferent to what a girl does or doesn’t do, and if you aren’t, a girl will pick up on that fast and it will kill any attraction she has for you because you’ll come off as desperate (low value).

Unless a girl is heavily interested in you, it’s hard to recover from the first impression you already gave her.

Not every girl has the intention to manipulate and mislead you the moment they meet you. They can just be acting nice or extroverted and you’re misinterpreting that for interest or attraction (a lot of guys make this innocent mistake). You have to realize that most girls are also afraid to straight up reject a guy, simply because they don’t want to be rude and have an awkward moment and/or they fear how a guy may react.

You don’t need to become numb, cold-hearted, emotionless, nor adopt broad generalizations. Being bitter doesn’t do much for your personal happiness. You just need to be aware of what behaviours build attraction and what behaviours kill attraction, from learning from the experience of others on this forum and through trial and error in the field.

 

[BeExcellent]

Do I just need to become numb to all of their cr@p over time? Just accept that all of them are unreliable initially untill proven otherwise?

Not at all. Embrace the crap but understand that that's exactly what most of it is, crap. Enjoy the process anyway. Most will be unreliable until they show you otherwise. That's the way dating is. It's a sorting process whether you are male or female. Think about it this way. If you understand that 95% to 99% of your time is wasted relative to the end result, then you begin to appreciate that 1% to 5% of your time that ISN'T wasted. You'll start to recognize the difference.

But embrace and enjoy 100% of the time you spend in the game. For 2 reasons. One being that you cannot know what person is going to turn out being worthwhile, and two being that life is a journey and there is actually value in enjoying all your experiences whether they end up as crap relative to your end goal or not. If you embrace and enjoy the moments you'll become MAD attractive and people will be drawn to you. So you can derive quality and value from ALL your interactions. Other people will then also derive quality from their interactions with you, which elevates you among people. It's pretty neat actually.

 

[guru1000]

If you embrace and enjoy the moments you'll become MAD attractive and people will be drawn to you. So you can derive quality and value from ALL your interactions. Other people will then also derive quality from their interactions with you, which elevates you among people. It's pretty neat actually.

Yup.

Also, in each experience with another, you either gain a new lesson or a new friend. There are no "bad" experiences.

Part of jadedness arises from not recognizing the value in ALL experiences.

 

[BeExcellent]

Yup.

Also, in each experience with another, you either gain a new lesson or a new friend. There are no "bad" experiences.

Part of jadedness arises from not recognizing the value in ALL experiences.

We'd have both been downright dangerous if we'd understood all this stuff some 20 years ago... Oh wait. We ARE downright dangerous, LOL

Couldn't resist. Life is too short not to enjoy the ride.

 

[Mr Wright]

If you enjoy women, understand their nature, refuse to play their games and look after yourself, it will be hard for you to go wrong. Even the most prolific players have pretty crap ratios on paper. It's part of the game, you get leads, some go further than others...others don't. Sometimes you lose easy lays, sometimes you get rewarded for sticking something out. The trick is getting those reference points so that you can pick up on these things earlier because I promise you she gave you some subtle hints that she wasn't completely into you.

Any jadedness comes from a lack of understanding.