The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Designer Man]

She had you removed from the property? At this point don’t even think about contacting her or getting back with her. Focus on yourself and use NC to move on, not to get her back.

Yep and I lived there for two years and paid my share. I just wanted more respect than that. I would have left and the way she went about it was disgusting.

 

[Glassguy]

What would be the down side of me telling her that I have moved on?

You haven't moved on. That's the problem.

 

[Designer Man]

As you should deserve. She will reach out to you again, I would suggest blocking her because she f’ed you over in this relationship. It was a tough read, but I think you know what to do as you are typing out your post.

And I also f'ed her over. I was disgusting at times and when we would argue it got nasty to the point we almost got physical. We had panic attacks and were just at an all time low. The good times were there and we had some amazing times, probably 50/50 which is not good. Her mood dictated what kind of day we were going to have and I would feed off her energy. I would absorb her mood and then start to get agitated about stuff. I wasn't an easy person to live with at times but most of the time I was chilled and easy going. I would do anything for her. We even had an evening out together on Wednesday which was nice and enjoyable, then Thursday was just complete madness. How can two people who meant the world to each other allow this to happen? Why did we let the bad get in the way and ruin us? I have no answers, we failed and when things went wrong we both pulled away.

 

[johnrambo]

Day 1

This is going to be tough but I have to do it.

It'll get better with time. Hang in there.

 

[johnrambo]

We even had an evening out together on Wednesday which was nice and enjoyable, then Thursday was just complete madness. How can two people who meant the world to each other allow this to happen? Why did we let the bad get in the way and ruin us? I have no answers, we failed and when things went wrong we both pulled away.

Maybe she wants to start a fight and break up with you.

 

[soulforge]

And I also f'ed her over. I was disgusting at times and when we would argue it got nasty to the point we almost got physical. We had panic attacks and were just at an all time low. The good times were there and we had some amazing times, probably 50/50 which is not good. Her mood dictated what kind of day we were going to have and I would feed off her energy. I would absorb her mood and then start to get agitated about stuff. I wasn't an easy person to live with at times but most of the time I was chilled and easy going. I would do anything for her. We even had an evening out together on Wednesday which was nice and enjoyable, then Thursday was just complete madness. How can two people who meant the world to each other allow this to happen? Why did we let the bad get in the way and ruin us? I have no answers, we failed and when things went wrong we both pulled away.

When a relationship gets even close to this messy/toxic it's time to walk away.

I think it's important to recognise when a relationship is failing, earlier you exit from that bad situation, the better.

 

[Adz--]

Yeh no lies. I am age 47 and she was age 24... This relationship was a massive ego boost for me.. however the red flags where very obvious from day one.

With some time apart from her, I realise that she was very likely BPD, or at least had severe daddy issues.. Most personality disorders in girls, stem from daddy issues.

Yup she was hot, sex was great.. However dudes kill themselves over damaged girls like this. So Instead of feeling all down about the break up, I should be celebrating the fact that I had the sense to dump her before she got pregnant and before I spent years falling in love with her.

Some poor beta Simp will suffer with her now, while I go out in the big wide world and spend time with good quality chicks.

She was an absolute headache and constant drama.

Yep, sex with BPD/toxic/Crazy girls is mostly great. But the cost of it is your mental sanity. Honestly man, sounds like a car crash waiting to happen, good thing you got out before things took a turn for the worst

 

[Designer Man]

It's only been a day and I'm back and forth between the good things and the bad things. One minute I'm hating her for her behaviour and then the next minute I'm thinking about all the good things she done and the qualities she did have.

 

[Baibars]

It's only been a day and I'm back and forth between the good things and the bad things. One minute I'm hating her for her behaviour and then the next minute I'm thinking about all the good things she done and the qualities she did have.

had that with my ex before and my now ex. It’s normal and it’s just a phase you’re going through. There will be phases when you’re angry towards her, when you miss her, when you feel like it was all your fault or all her fault. This is not you. These are all emotions. You should feel them but never act on them. I know easier said than done and a lot of guys including me can’t permanently stick to that but it’s the right thing to do.

 

[Designer Man]

had that with my ex before and my now ex. It’s normal and it’s just a phase you’re going through. There will be phases when you’re angry towards her, when you miss her, when you feel like it was all your fault or all her fault. This is not you. These are all emotions. You should feel them but never act on them. I know easier said than done and a lot of guys including me can’t permanently stick to that but it’s the right thing to do.

Friends in the gym said tonight that she will reach out at some point just to keep you hanging on and play the game. I feel if she did reach out I would want her to know how belittled she made me feel and that she basically shunned me like I was nothing. They've told me that I can't message her back and I have to stick to that.

 

[Designer Man]

Saying nothing and living a better life is the ultimate method to make her realize she lost a good one. The moment she senses you don’t need her is when her emotions gets screwed out of gear.

This takes time and resolute on your end. Trust me when I say that ALL WOMEN will come back because of the emotional attachment. How do you win the game? Emotional detachment.

When you feel like you’re on top of the world, you will either realize that you don’t need that crap in your life or Hey! I can make this girl abide my terms and boundaries. It’s up to you what you want to do at that point. Short term pain for long term pleasure

Thank you. I'm just sat here thinking how did it all go wrong. I mean, I know when it went wrong, it was when i scrolled through her phone and broke trust and found something that really hurt me and since that moment things never really fully recovered. I was looking at a photograph of when we got engaged and the joy on her face is the happiest thing I have ever seen. I have messed up so much and allowed it to slip away when i could have been so much better. I can only hold myself accountable and reflect on my own actions. I have to live with losing the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

[Designer Man]

Day 2

I woke up this morning disgusted with myself. I wasn't a nice person to be around at times and I have put myself in her shoes to see how it made her feel. The aggression, the negative behaviour was not good and it must have been awful for her. I may not have put hands on her but I did get in her face, I slammed doors, I lashed out and it would have frightened her. What type of person does that to someone they love? Why did I react to the nasty things she said and behave like a psychopath? I should have controlled myself better and walked away from the situation. At times I did, but not often enough. I would get up in her face and then back away as I knew I was in the wrong but I let her push my buttons and I should have been a lot stronger than that. I intimidated her, I invaded her personal space, I am honestly appalled by my behaviour. She lashed out herself at times but I can't comment on the things she said or done, I can't reflect on her behaviour I can only reflect on mine. Today I hate myself and I don't understand why it has taken a break up for me to realise how awful I was and she stuck with me in the hope things would get better.

 

[soulforge]

Breaking up is painful man, but within it are many many opportunities for self improvement and becoming a better, stronger man. And a wiser person.

 

[Designer Man]

I'm struggling today. I have been thinking about reaching out, although I'm blocked on everything I think I can get through via e-mail or to her work phone but I'm holding strong and I'm not doing it. I want to tell her that I have been so wrong so many times and I am so sorry for what I have put her through and the way I made her feel. I love her so so much and given my time again I wouldn't let a minute go by without showing her how much I love and adore her. I'm so tempted yo reach out whether that's via email or sending it to her sister to pass on for me. I know it's wrong but I just want her to know that I'm not carrying on with my life and that I am sorrowful.

 

[soulforge]

I'm struggling today. I have been thinking about reaching out, although I'm blocked on everything I think I can get through via e-mail or to her work phone but I'm holding strong and I'm not doing it. I want to tell her that I have been so wrong so many times and I am so sorry for what I have put her through and the way I made her feel. I love her so so much and given my time again I wouldn't let a minute go by without showing her how much I love and adore her. I'm so tempted yo reach out whether that's via email or sending it to her sister to pass on for me. I know it's wrong but I just want her to know that I'm not carrying on with my life and that I am sorrowful.

Bro unfortunately that will not work.

It's upto you. Many would say don't do it, however if you feel you where the cause of the break up most of the time, then do what is best for you.

living with regret is also very very painful.

If you attempt to reach out and let her know how you feel, and if she doesn't respond back then .. You must Walk Away

 

[Designer Man]

Bro unfortunately that will not work.

It's upto you. Many would say don't do it, however if you feel you where the cause of the break up most of the time, then do what is best for you.

living with regret is also very very painful.

If you attempt to reach out and let her know how you feel, and if she doesn't respond back then .. You must Walk Away

She will have not had time to digest anything yet. If I know her, it takes her a few days to process everything sometimes up to a week. We've been here before but we have never gone longer than a day without talking. I'm willing to wait a bit longer before saying something. I feel I have to tell her that I know how awful I have been and that I didn't do enough to help manage her stress. Right now I don't think it's the right time to say anything. I have to allow her to breathe.

 

[Designer Man]

What is the reason for girls changing their profile picture after a break up? Is there a psychological reason behind it?

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I never talked about this at the time, not a big deal I guess but here it goes:

So I was a few months in my new Relationship, happy af. My ex contacted me (like someone else said, its like they "sense" when you moved on or something and they want to pull you back in)

Supposedly, she wanted my help planning a vacation to "X" place (a place I loved and have happened to visit a bunch of times). She said something along the lines of: "I want to take my mom with me but she doesnt want to go. Oh well, I guess Im going to have to go by myself, all alone".

I blocked her.

My current girl thinks my ex had regrets about the break up and wanted me back. Maybe she did, its happened to me before. Who knows, who cares.

 

[Designer Man]

Gentlemen I am happy to say that I am officially over my ex. Took me about a week and a half to move on. I had my second date with a new woman last night. Get out there and start dating new women. It makes a big difference.

Doesn't it just mask over the pain though? I'm not ready for that yet, everything is a major blur.

If she reaches out, I would suggest relationship counselling, there shouldn't be a taboo around it and may be helpful. If she doesn't reach out then I'll just continue taking it day by day.

 

[Designer Man]

There's is no taboo around relationship counselling, except that everybody knows that counselling mostly helps women to express their grievances, but rarely lead to a balanced relationship.

Can I ask you why she would shut me down in an argument/discussion and not allow me to get my point across? It was so frustrating and I found it difficult to communicate which would result in me losing my head and she thrived on that.