The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Robert28]

I definitely understand where you’re coming from... Our situation was this... we worked together and got close... she was really close with me and my daughter. I was unhappily married so I decided to move out and she said she was in a relationship that wasn’t great. So I moved out and she started coming over all the time. Things proceeded fairly quickly as we basically already knew each other. However, about 4 weeks in she started getting distant and I eventually found out (not from her) that she was hanging out with her ex again. I always knew there was a chance for this. I didn’t think she’d try to hide it from me.
The part that bothers me is when she quit she had a box of items to return to work and instead of facing me she left the box with a business in our building and never came in to say goodbye or anything.

I was pissed at this time... and my wife was trying pretty hard to get me back so I went back and worked on my marriage.

that was 4 years ago... to this day this woman reaches out to me either via email with IMY emails. Or sorry emails. Literally one word emails. If I wait a day or two and reply trying to address the elephant (that she still has feelings for me and we never got closure) in the room I’m ghosted.... every time. Or she’ll turn into an ass and say how she’s going to go suck her BFs ****.

it’s confusing to me... in one hand she sends me an IMY email and then turns around with this other BS. I’m over here just honestly trying to be a friend and say all is forgiven and hope all is well. She’ll never allow any closure BC she knows it bothers me that she just vanished without a word. I never understand why she feels the need to be an ass...? Makes no sense. I’m never going to get back with her.

IDK if she’s upset that she didn’t make it work... or what her deal is...it’s just weird to get IMY emails on and off over a 4 year period and the person sending them never engages with you.....? I’ve literally tried everything with this woman. NC. Trying to talk to her. Etc...etc...etc.... nothing seems to work. It’s just leaves me scratching my head.

I can give you some closure and I don’t even know her. She’s a narcissist. Probably borderline personality disorder too, but for sure she’s a narcissist. What she’s doing with the emails is called hoovering. Your response gives her fuel that she’s craving, that’s why she doesn’t respond or turns into a jerk. She’s always going to keep coming back to get more fuel until you put a stop to it by blocking her from everywhere. She’s never going to reconcile with you, she’s never going to meet up with you and have some long talk like in the movies, this is classic narcissism.

 

[scarface701]

I can give you some closure and I don’t even know her. She’s a narcissist. Probably borderline personality disorder too, but for sure she’s a narcissist. What she’s doing with the emails is called hoovering. Your response gives her fuel that she’s craving, that’s why she doesn’t respond or turns into a jerk. She’s always going to keep coming back to get more fuel until you put a stop to it by blocking her from everywhere. She’s never going to reconcile with you, she’s never going to meet up with you and have some long talk like in the movies, this is classic narcissism.

Oh for sure. I've come to this conclusion as well. It's just awkward as hell. It's also crazy how manipulative she is. The last time we communicated...I wouldn't call it "talking" as she rarely engages at all... but it was before her bday and she made it clear that she wanted this glass artwork type bong for her bday.... anyway... this "communication" eventually ended with me saying... "this is totally pointless. I'm a busy doctor and don't have time for your games. If you're not interested in communicating as normal people do (she only communicates on Twitter) and if we are never going to see each other than I have no need to talk to you again. All the best".... and I haven't and won't reach out again to her nor will I respond if she reaches out.

I laugh though how all of a sudden her Twitter is full of these glass bongs that she wants. Before that, she was writing how she's planning on going to nursing school. Next it will be something how she is sick and I know it's all an attempt to get me to reach out and say..."I'll buy that bong for you"... or "oh great you're going to nursing school".... or "Oh you're sick, I'd be happy to help".... then she'd just ghost me. LMAO.

 

[Zontyy]

It's been 4 and 1/2 months since we broke up, she monkey branch back to an ex husband. The sex was amazing but she was starting to get disrespectful and I put her in her place which she didn't like and monkey branch back to her ex who she divorced to be with me. She tried to commit suicide 3 weeks after the breakup I was only notified because I was still on the call list at the time. She blocked me on everything for first 2 months. Then unblocked me on facebook and liked a photo of mine in the middle of the night. I can only assume she looks at my facebook while her ex husband is away at work. Just like week recommend friends at on instagram it looks like she unblocked me on instagram. I know I should have but I looked at her instagram, she went and made it public I think she wanted me to see everything.

Apparently she is on some 2 month vacation in europe and north africa with her 2 year old son that her husband is paying for while he stay back in the states and works. 90% of her posts are about being a happy family and so happy she is with her ex husband. It is all bull**** and lies and I can see that, I feel sorry for her. I know she depressed I see it in some of her photos, she is not smiling. Apparently she also made her facebook public aswell I assume because she wants me to see it. Deep down I know she will contact me in the future after the money runs out or she gets into another fight with her ex husband. I'm just so far gone and have my own problems never a chance between us ever again.

Since then though I got an EX (before the last one) of mine pregnant and have been having an on again off again thing going. She finally just shut me down saying she isn't attracted and there is no spark and we are just friends having a baby. I decided to take a job a couple hours away and she is losing her mind melting down.

This is my post above I just lost the logon details to the account but figure this will be my new account and want to post a status update.

My Ex contacted me and she face timed me one night from Morocco. She wanted to forget the past and to start over again and just love me again. Told me how she thinks about me nonstop and never let go of the idea of being together. Told me she wanted to come back to US and marry me etc etc etc. I was pretty standoffish and held my feelings in. She made some comments about lots of girls commenting on my profile and how she said I was trying to replace her. I laughed it off and said no one can replace anyone because we are all unique. Anyways she came on really strong and wanted me to go see her in morocco. I missed the sex so I agreed to see her if and when I had the time and money. She then went and offered to buy me plane tickets to Morocco I can only assume she taking money from her husband to pay for this. I said sure and she bought me some tickets right before Ramadan. The idea was to spend 3 weeks together have some great sex and lots of fun in Marrakech a city away from her parents who she is visiting before holy month. COVID happened and they Royal Air Maroc sent me some ticket vouchers. She called me a few times back to back during then asked if I had been with anyone and I told her yes my other ex who I got pregnant. She was quite hurt by that but I told her she left not that its any of her business. She then wanted to point out that she never slept with her ex husband since returning to him and hasn't been with him or anyone. (I'm calling bull****)

Anyways the spark has kind of died down with her and I could feel her depression coming in waves while she is in morocco. She is not the same girl who would pine over me and care so much about me. You can tell when a girl is your complete focus and I feel like some sort of backup plan. She would contact me once a week just to see how i was doing. While talking to her this week she had some idea that I was going to leave my country and live with her and be in Morocco like I would leave my soon to be son. It was at this moment I decided told her we shouldn't speak or message each other anymore. I was getting invested in her and she wasn't with me. I then said when the flights and the borders open, I'll send her a message and make plans to meet. She did the most lightning quick reply of OK and gave me an inshallah. I still plan to see her and have a few weeks of some fun but it doesn't work out I'm still using these free tickets and there plenty of other Moroccan girls that hit me up on facebook who are friendly and offer to show me around their cities.

Now onto the Ex I got pregnant, we meet up and take walks and have talked about child custody and support. She agreed to sign some paperwork after the kid is born for joint custody with alternating primary residence. This should in effect make it so I won't be paying child support. Also prepared some IRS paperwork and every other year we will claim our son as a dependent. It almost seems too good to be true but I'm praying she doesn't back out on this or else we will be in court right after this kid is born. I have 2 best lawyers in the county already ready if it does happen. If she does follow through and sign and file all this after the kid is born, I will be very happy. I'll even help her out and give some money under the table to help with my son and her university just for the peace of mind she gave me time will tell. I also am getting the vibe that she interested in some longterm FWB. She wants to go book a hotel room for the weekend at a winery and I already know what that means. She just bought me some clothes too because she wants to see me in more variety.

I'm a bit hurt though, by the Arab girl because with her husband she was willing to leave everything behind to be with him. Yet she wants me to leave everything behind to be with her since this change of heart. I feel like if she really loved me she would be pushing to be with me again here in the USA. I feel unloved and I put my heart and well everything into her.

I tell myself that there are plenty of women hitting you up right now that you blown off or ignored. Also you've dropped weight put on muscle, got a better job. This month I finally became credit card debt free and by end of the year have no debts at all. I have a son being born withing the next 7 days, Yet this **** with the arab girl still bothers me. I mean I loved her so much, it comes and goes you know? Like during a quiet run or walk it pops into my head.

 

[bcude]

Not looking for advice, just taking the opportunity to vent a little since this is the place for it.
The ex that made me find this site and swallow the red pill really did a real number on me emotionally when she left me. She made me question everything about myself and think about life on so many levels while leaving me in the harshest of ways with feelings of guilt. I still suffer from all this on some level since i take my time to write about it but I see it as a blessing and feel it was necessary for my growth as a man. She pushed me HARD for a child and marriage but i naturally hesitated until she was fed up and left. In all fairness i generally handled myself weakly so i don't blame her for leaving.

Now yesterday out of the blue i see a random picture of her where she's pregnant about 6 months in and it just completely blew my mind.
You read about baby rabies but you can't really understand it until you see it for yourself. As i see it she must have taken the first best available guy to have a child with, in other words a stranger as she can't have been seeing him more than about 3 months (maximum 6, but probably much less since you wont get pregnant on the first try while they still found themselves in the infatuation stage.

Adding to the world of single mothers and habitual bad decisions. Sadness is what i feel, since i know this child will not grow into a stable happy family that she really craved and i know it's just a question of when she will ultimately divorce or leave this poor fellow. Let me spare you the details to why i feel certain about that but let's just say she most probably put up an ultimatum literally from day 1 as the foundation of their relationship, and he accepted.

Anyway, what shocked me is what she wrote as header to the picture. It was basically a quote from a picture i put up 1 year ago just after we split. On my birthday i posted a picture having fun where another cute girl could be seen and easily be taken for a new gf of mine. I can't see it in any other way than i got under her skin/she's bitter and sent me a subtle hint to get back at me in a manner of "hey! look at me, i'm living life preggo and you're missing out". This after dropping another subtle hint on our annivarsary day last summer where i could sense some struggling from her side.
The odds of her using that quote as a coincidence would just be too weird. It's so fvcked up that she puts in the effort to send me a subtle message while pregnant and being with a new man over 1 year later. I shouldn't be in her mind at all, but knowing her excellent memory and over analysing everything it somehow doesn't surprise me that she can't lose the feeling that she let a genuinely good man go.
A feeling she has to live with. I wish her nothing but the best, but the bad unresponsible decisions of women are just unfathomable to grasp. As i've said before, the more i get to learn about women, the more i realise the urgent need for masculine leadership and guidance.
My mother turned into a mess after she left my father. Complete self destruction.

*Note, she called me once a couple of months after the breakup where we had a friendly brief talk and then she liked a fb post of mine a couple of months later while being with the new man which i've learned now (i post something every 3 years, basically never). Besides that complete radio silence.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Not looking for advice, just taking the opportunity to vent a little since this is the place for it.
The ex that made me find this site and swallow the red pill really did a real number on me emotionally when she left me. She made me question everything about myself and think about life on so many levels while leaving me in the harshest of ways with feelings of guilt. I still suffer from all this on some level since i take my time to write about it but I see it as a blessing and feel it was necessary for my growth as a man. She pushed me HARD for a child and marriage but i naturally hesitated until she was fed up and left. In all fairness i generally handled myself weakly so i don't blame her for leaving.

Now yesterday out of the blue i see a random picture of her where she's pregnant about 6 months in and it just completely blew my mind.
You read about baby rabies but you can't really understand it until you see it for yourself. As i see it she must have taken the first best available guy to have a child with, in other words a stranger as she can't have been seeing him more than about 3 months (maximum 6, but probably much less since you wont get pregnant on the first try while they still found themselves in the infatuation stage.

Adding to the world of single mothers and habitual bad decisions. Sadness is what i feel, since i know this child will not grow into a stable happy family that she really craved and i know it's just a question of when she will ultimately divorce or leave this poor fellow. Let me spare you the details to why i feel certain about that but let's just say she most probably put up an ultimatum literally from day 1 as the foundation of their relationship, and he accepted.

Anyway, what shocked me is what she wrote as header to the picture. It was basically a quote from a picture i put up 1 year ago just after we split. On my birthday i posted a picture having fun where another cute girl could be seen and easily be taken for a new gf of mine. I can't see it in any other way than i got under her skin/she's bitter and sent me a subtle hint to get back at me in a manner of "hey! look at me, i'm living life preggo and you're missing out". This after dropping another subtle hint on our annivarsary day last summer where i could sense some struggling from her side.
The odds of her using that quote as a coincidence would just be too weird. It's so fvcked up that she puts in the effort to send me a subtle message while pregnant and being with a new man over 1 year later. I shouldn't be in her mind at all, but knowing her excellent memory and over analysing everything it somehow doesn't surprise me that she can't lose the feeling that she let a genuinely good man go.
A feeling she has to live with. I wish her nothing but the best, but the bad unresponsible decisions of women are just unfathomable to grasp. As i've said before, the more i get to learn about women, the more i realise the urgent need for masculine leadership and guidance.
My mother turned into a mess after she left my father. Complete self destruction.

*Note, she called me once a couple of months after the breakup where we had a friendly brief talk and then she liked a fb post of mine a couple of months later while being with the new man which i've learned now (i post something every 3 years, basically never). Besides that complete radio silence.

Smfh, what a cvnt.

Big virtual hug to you man. You've made me feel better with some advice on this thread and right now I'm fvckin speechless mad/sad for you.

 

[Robert28]

Not looking for advice, just taking the opportunity to vent a little since this is the place for it.
The ex that made me find this site and swallow the red pill really did a real number on me emotionally when she left me. She made me question everything about myself and think about life on so many levels while leaving me in the harshest of ways with feelings of guilt. I still suffer from all this on some level since i take my time to write about it but I see it as a blessing and feel it was necessary for my growth as a man. She pushed me HARD for a child and marriage but i naturally hesitated until she was fed up and left. In all fairness i generally handled myself weakly so i don't blame her for leaving.

Now yesterday out of the blue i see a random picture of her where she's pregnant about 6 months in and it just completely blew my mind.
You read about baby rabies but you can't really understand it until you see it for yourself. As i see it she must have taken the first best available guy to have a child with, in other words a stranger as she can't have been seeing him more than about 3 months (maximum 6, but probably much less since you wont get pregnant on the first try while they still found themselves in the infatuation stage.

Adding to the world of single mothers and habitual bad decisions. Sadness is what i feel, since i know this child will not grow into a stable happy family that she really craved and i know it's just a question of when she will ultimately divorce or leave this poor fellow. Let me spare you the details to why i feel certain about that but let's just say she most probably put up an ultimatum literally from day 1 as the foundation of their relationship, and he accepted.

Anyway, what shocked me is what she wrote as header to the picture. It was basically a quote from a picture i put up 1 year ago just after we split. On my birthday i posted a picture having fun where another cute girl could be seen and easily be taken for a new gf of mine. I can't see it in any other way than i got under her skin/she's bitter and sent me a subtle hint to get back at me in a manner of "hey! look at me, i'm living life preggo and you're missing out". This after dropping another subtle hint on our annivarsary day last summer where i could sense some struggling from her side.
The odds of her using that quote as a coincidence would just be too weird. It's so fvcked up that she puts in the effort to send me a subtle message while pregnant and being with a new man over 1 year later. I shouldn't be in her mind at all, but knowing her excellent memory and over analysing everything it somehow doesn't surprise me that she can't lose the feeling that she let a genuinely good man go.
A feeling she has to live with. I wish her nothing but the best, but the bad unresponsible decisions of women are just unfathomable to grasp. As i've said before, the more i get to learn about women, the more i realise the urgent need for masculine leadership and guidance.
My mother turned into a mess after she left my father. Complete self destruction.

*Note, she called me once a couple of months after the breakup where we had a friendly brief talk and then she liked a fb post of mine a couple of months later while being with the new man which i've learned now (i post something every 3 years, basically never). Besides that complete radio silence.

What’s the guy look like? Does she even post pics of them together?

 

[Robert28]

I have been dumped in the worst ways you could imagine. Awhile back I bumped into my ex girlfriends mom at a shopping center. Her mom said how my ex still talks about me, how they all miss me and how me ex keeps saying she wishes could feel something for me but she just can’t. But she knows I would be the perfect husband.
Ouch.lol

 

[NSX-R]

Been in NC since 23rd of April. Actually it was 1 and a half month longer but she Send me some wishes for my nameday which i replied 40 hours later saying “thank you “ and that’s all . Since then been with 5 females (banged them the last 2 weeks) . Yesterday for some reason a saw her on my dream and thought about her . I checked her account from a profile that a friend of mine has ( cause we don’t follow each other on instagram) and she uploaded a story with a sightseeing with 2 of her female friends and their bf Tagged and another dude as it seems to be her new bf . He might not be the new bf ,I’m not sure but it seems weird for just a dude to be around there with 2 couples so it’s very probable . Anyway, it was expected this to happen but for some reason i got really furious . So i went and hit the gym and released all of my anger . Other than that he’s not better looking than me , most likely not as rich as i am so this calms me even more for some reason again .I thought for a long time i was over her but unfortunately there is still something down there burning for her .

 

[bcude]

What’s the guy look like? Does she even post pics of them together?

That's something i wonder too and did some digging out of curiosity but found literally zero information, which surprises me. Nothing of the usual hearts, comments or pics which makes me think he doesn't have social media honestly. She didn't post any pics of us either but atleast she dropped some covert hints. I've started to decipher women's way of communication in that way, but here.. nothing. The only thing i noticed is that her social media presence went down completely and then this.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

That's something i wonder too and did some digging out of curiosity but found literally zero information, which surprises me. Nothing of the usual hearts, comments or pics which makes me think he doesn't have social media honestly. She didn't post any pics of us either but atleast she dropped some covert hints. I've started to decipher women's way of communication in that way, but here.. nothing. The only thing i noticed is that her social media presence went down completely and then this.

maybe stay off it, don't expose yourself to this, I can't stand this woman-I get the baby rabies but come on.....

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Who cares really. These thoughts are not helping you and it's better to assume the worst if that leads you to lose that hope that keeps us stuck to our past and keeps us from living in the moment.

Give it time, you will be fine. You've a chance to make your future self proud by staying strong.

your words man!

 

[Mauser96]

Let's put a different perspective on this, in bold



Not looking for advice, just taking the opportunity to vent a little since this is the place for it.
The ex that made me find this site and swallow the red pill really did a real number on me emotionally when she left me. She made me question everything about myself and think about life on so many levels while leaving me in the harshest of ways with feelings of guilt. I still suffer from all this on some level since i take my time to write about it but I see it as a blessing and feel it was necessary for my growth as a man. She pushed me HARD for a child and marriage but i naturally hesitated until she was fed up and left. In all fairness i generally handled myself weakly so i don't blame her for leaving. Never do something you aren't comfortable with. She wanted a kid, you didn't - so she left. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING ...FOR YOU, AND SO DID SHE.

Now yesterday out of the blue i see a random picture of her where she's pregnant about 6 months in and it just completely blew my mind.
You read about baby rabies but you can't really understand it until you see it for yourself. As i see it she must have taken the first best available guy to have a child with, in other words a stranger as she can't have been seeing him more than about 3 months (maximum 6, but probably much less since you wont get pregnant on the first try while they still found themselves in the infatuation stage. That shows you that her leaving was a blessing in disguise

Adding to the world of single mothers and habitual bad decisions. Sadness is what i feel, since i know this child will not grow into a stable happy family that she really craved and i know it's just a question of when she will ultimately divorce or leave this poor fellow. Let me spare you the details to why i feel certain about that but let's just say she most probably put up an ultimatum literally from day 1 as the foundation of their relationship, and he accepted. He got sucked in. Now she is his problem. Not good for the kids though. I give the marriage 3 years.

Anyway, what shocked me is what she wrote as header to the picture. It was basically a quote from a picture i put up 1 year ago just after we split. On my birthday i posted a picture having fun where another cute girl could be seen and easily be taken for a new gf of mine. I can't see it in any other way than i got under her skin/she's bitter and sent me a subtle hint to get back at me in a manner of "hey! look at me, i'm living life preggo and you're missing out". This after dropping another subtle hint on our annivarsary day last summer where i could sense some struggling from her side. Lol, don't let that get under your skin. and NEVER ever let on that you saw it. She is still hung up on you, or she wouldn't have bothered.
The odds of her using that quote as a coincidence would just be too weird. It's so fvcked up that she puts in the effort to send me a subtle message while pregnant and being with a new man over 1 year later. I shouldn't be in her mind at all, but knowing her excellent memory and over analysing everything it somehow doesn't surprise me that she can't lose the feeling that she let a genuinely good man go.
A feeling she has to live with. I wish her nothing but the best, but the bad unresponsible decisions of women are just unfathomable to grasp. As i've said before, the more i get to learn about women, the more i realise the urgent need for masculine leadership and guidance.
My mother turned into a mess after she left my father. Complete self destruction. As did my ex-swife. She used to pull silly little stunts after she left as well. Today, she lives a pretty fvcked up existence. BUT, she wanted the split.....and now she has it. I bet she wishes she could go back in time 14 years and do things differently.

*Note, she called me once a couple of months after the breakup where we had a friendly brief talk and then she liked a fb post of mine a couple of months later while being with the new man which i've learned now (i post something every 3 years, basically never). Besides that complete radio silence.

 

[bcude]

maybe stay off it, don't expose yourself to this, I can't stand this woman-I get the baby rabies but come on.....

Yeah definately. I generally don't like to burn bridges and keep exes on social media unless they were completely disrespectful and rude, since it's just fb i feel like whatever i never use it anyway but i'll remove her. Just nothing good can come out of this.

@Mauser96, thanks for your reply and i totally agree with you. They aren't even married yet but i'll bet that will follow before this year is over. I'll give it somewhere between 3-5 years max.
I'll remove her but i'll wait a couple of weeks so it doesn't seem like THIS made me furious to a point that i removed her, i don't want to give her that satisfaction even though i couldn't care less of what she thinks.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I have been dumped in the worst ways you could imagine. Awhile back I bumped into my ex girlfriends mom at a shopping center. Her mom said how my ex still talks about me, how they all miss me and how me ex keeps saying she wishes could feel something for me but she just can’t. But she knows I would be the perfect husband.
Ouch.lol

ouch, why'd she have to tell you she said that? Knowing women, the mom could have made it up, ffs.

 

[Pan87]

Not looking for advice, just taking the opportunity to vent a little since this is the place for it.
The ex that made me find this site and swallow the red pill really did a real number on me emotionally when she left me. She made me question everything about myself and think about life on so many levels while leaving me in the harshest of ways with feelings of guilt. I still suffer from all this on some level since i take my time to write about it but I see it as a blessing and feel it was necessary for my growth as a man. She pushed me HARD for a child and marriage but i naturally hesitated until she was fed up and left. In all fairness i generally handled myself weakly so i don't blame her for leaving.

Now yesterday out of the blue i see a random picture of her where she's pregnant about 6 months in and it just completely blew my mind.
You read about baby rabies but you can't really understand it until you see it for yourself. As i see it she must have taken the first best available guy to have a child with, in other words a stranger as she can't have been seeing him more than about 3 months (maximum 6, but probably much less since you wont get pregnant on the first try while they still found themselves in the infatuation stage.

Adding to the world of single mothers and habitual bad decisions. Sadness is what i feel, since i know this child will not grow into a stable happy family that she really craved and i know it's just a question of when she will ultimately divorce or leave this poor fellow. Let me spare you the details to why i feel certain about that but let's just say she most probably put up an ultimatum literally from day 1 as the foundation of their relationship, and he accepted.

Anyway, what shocked me is what she wrote as header to the picture. It was basically a quote from a picture i put up 1 year ago just after we split. On my birthday i posted a picture having fun where another cute girl could be seen and easily be taken for a new gf of mine. I can't see it in any other way than i got under her skin/she's bitter and sent me a subtle hint to get back at me in a manner of "hey! look at me, i'm living life preggo and you're missing out". This after dropping another subtle hint on our annivarsary day last summer where i could sense some struggling from her side.
The odds of her using that quote as a coincidence would just be too weird. It's so fvcked up that she puts in the effort to send me a subtle message while pregnant and being with a new man over 1 year later. I shouldn't be in her mind at all, but knowing her excellent memory and over analysing everything it somehow doesn't surprise me that she can't lose the feeling that she let a genuinely good man go.
A feeling she has to live with. I wish her nothing but the best, but the bad unresponsible decisions of women are just unfathomable to grasp. As i've said before, the more i get to learn about women, the more i realise the urgent need for masculine leadership and guidance.
My mother turned into a mess after she left my father. Complete self destruction.

*Note, she called me once a couple of months after the breakup where we had a friendly brief talk and then she liked a fb post of mine a couple of months later while being with the new man which i've learned now (i post something every 3 years, basically never). Besides that complete radio silence.

You must be dealing with a lot of feelings of regret and guilt. This experience will take you a while to heal from. Don't rush it and force yourself to "get over it." Be gracious towards yourself and accept that the only thing that truly helps is Time and having new experiences.

If any of us could push a button and go back in time and change the past then believe me we all would. But we can't. We have to find a way to live with our choices (and the choices our ex's made post-breakup that our out of our control).

 

[Mauser96]

I found this gem, and fell in love

Go NO Contact.
Never reach out again.
If they reach out and apologize for dumping you and you want to give it another shot, proceed cautiously.
By the six month mark you likely won't want them back. Continue NC
If they reach out after the six month mark, send them this happy tune

 

[Baibars]

I found this gem, and fell in love

Go NO Contact.
Never reach out again.
If they reach out and apologize for dumping you and you want to give it another shot, proceed cautiously.
By the six month mark you likely won't want them back. Continue NC
If they reach out after the six month mark, send them this happy tune

Do you think it's a good idea to wait and see if their opinion changes after they reach out again? Because most times they monkey branch and reach out after the got dumped or something like that. I experienced that they seek security, someone beta they can lean on who tells them how great they are because they feel like **** after being dumped. Of course they wont tell you what happened.
I think it's better to just don't dig through the trash but if you consider it don't take her back right after she reaches out.

 

[Mauser96]

I am in bold
Do you think it's a good idea to wait and see if their opinion changes after they reach out again? I think holding onto hope will drain, exhaust and depress you. You have to pick yourself up, get some new activities, get busy socially. If they reach out they do, worry about that when/if it happens. Because most times they monkey branch and reach out after the got dumped or something like that. IF THEY MONKEY BRANCHED THEY SHOULD CEASE TO EXIST IN YOUR WORLD UNTIL THE END OF TIME. DON'T CONTACT OR RESPOND TO CONTACT. HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT. I experienced that they seek security, someone beta they can lean on who tells them how great they are because they feel like **** after being dumped. Of course they wont tell you what happened.
I think it's better to just don't dig through the trash but if you consider it don't take her back right after she reaches out.

 

[DontThinkTwice]

I am on Day 3 of my NC challenge.

Shorter relationship than many of you posting here, but this girl seemed like the perfect match. Really cool person. Amazing chemistry. Can't believe how many similarities we had. Only issue is she came with a good amount of baggage. Being so into her was probably the problem that drove her away in addition to some pressure from that baggage. Been reading articles here (that I have read in the past and of course decided to ignore...) and realized I was being too much of a "Nice Guy" by being too available, accommodating, and flexible to her needs at the expense of my own. Didn't say or do anything real humiliating, but still was Beta/AFC.

She grew more and more distant from me and it made me more insecure that something was wrong. I pulled back some, but not as much as I should have. Finally, I decided that if I was going to be exclusive to someone, she needed to decide to either spend time with me or it was over. I set up a phone call with her, and before we were able to talk she texted me that she needed some time and space and couldn't be in a fully committed relationship right now. She might have sensed I was going to break up and wanted the upper hand.

Ended up still talking to her by phone after that text. I am proud of how I handled the conversation and explained I was actually looking to break up in our phone call anyway, and I did a good job of sounding confident and pretending like this didn't bother me. Joked around about some inside jokes we had, and then when there was a pause, so I said in a friendly tone: "Well see ya later". That was our last contact on Friday.

I have a bad history of being AFC and making excuses for women that hurt me or start ignoring me, and then I continue chasing them only to find myself get even more hurt, insecure, and even embarrassed by my behavior. I am open to talking if she reaches out, but I am not going to "bite the cheese" and jump right back into something cause she says "Hi, I miss you." It has hurt these past few days, but I am going to take on this challenge, and keep my self-respect this time. Stay strong, friends!

 

[Zontyy]

Just a quick update my current EX is giving birth today and has flip flopped 3 times on whether she wants me there or not. I just told her I would come on visiting hours she seems angry at my dis-interest. I just won't deal with the flip flopping and I'm not going to show up for her to ask me to leave because she changes her mind.

My other EX in morocco called and asked about the baby and we talked for a 30 minutes. She then asked if she could borrow $150 because she ran out money. Apparently she dropped her son off with her mom and is tourist city just living it up on her ex husbands dime. She got pissed when I said no and then she started to insult my other EX and got to the point where she was saying "I don't even know why I am mad I her I don't even know her". I cut her off and told her she can't insult her that is the mother of my child and she has no place. I told her she has no right to speak ill of me because I told her I couldn't help her. I had to be blunt and told her I am not her responsibility we are not together to call her husband or her family. She then tried to claim she was in a depression and her mother was causing part of it etc etc etc. Told her again she is not my responsibility. Then she brought up the tickets she bought me for morocco and how she was going to spend time with me how that is such a great gift her time. I legit laughed at this over the phone and said with that attitude I don't even know if I should see you maybe I will see some other girls. Zineb in Rabat, Najar in Marrakech, Rajei in Tangier there are plenty of "gifts" in morocco.

She went nuclear at first but calmed down and said she really wanted to see me. I'm really a coin toss right now when I do go to morocco if she worth seeing or some other women. Right now though goals are Baby, Fitness, Education then Morocco borders should open in 2-3 months.