The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[soulforge]

So Im getting close, I think its within a few days of three months as well. I'm chiming in because of both of you. My ex was hot as balls, a 1 in a million body and I went back to her over and over again in the three years we were together. I remember the equation I would play back, well shes hotter then the girls Im matching with, she lives just down the road and shes a beast in the bedroom, why not take her back. This girl slowly destroyed me over that three years, I didnt even notice it happening. My confidence got smashed because once you take her back, she knows she can do whatever it was that made you walk away in the first place without repercussion.

She'll tell you what you want to hear but if you value yourself you will never take her back, thats the start of what it takes to build your confidence.

By the way, matching with online chicks is useless. Honestly I want on a dating app today for the first time in months and 90% of these girls are old as fuk and literally overweight.

I don't want an obese old single mom.

I will be cold approaching and meeting young girls through social circles.

Also I plan to get back into the DJing circuit which is a great way to meet young girls.

I prefer chicks between the ages of 20-28

 

[Barrister]

By the way, matching with online chicks is useless. Honestly I want on a dating app today for the first time in months and 90% of these girls are old as fuk and literally overweight.

I don't want an obese old single mom.

I will be cold approaching and meeting young girls through social circles.

Also I plan to get back into the DJing circuit which is a great way to meet young girls.

I prefer chicks between the ages of 20-28

Right now you are simply addicted to the "drug" - your ex. Frankly, the number one thing you need to get over her is simply the passage of time. Other things can help - but it is more about weaning yourself off of her and letting your body and mind re-adjust. If you don't want to date other women don't mess with it. Many times doing so takes your mind off the ex though - especially is you need a sex fix.

Hang in there. Once you hit day 60 you will be amazed how much more clarity comes back into your life. There is a reason this thread exists and has been a mainstay here for decades.

 

[soulforge]

Right now you are simply addicted to the "drug" - your ex. Frankly, the number one thing you need to get over her is simply the passage of time. Other things can help - but it is more about weaning yourself off of her and letting your body and mind re-adjust. If you don't want to date other women don't mess with it. Many times doing so takes your mind off the ex though - especially is you need a sex fix.

Hang in there. Once you hit day 60 you will be amazed how much more clarity comes back into your life. There is a reason this thread exists and has been a mainstay here for decades.

Thanks man, it was definitely becoming a toxic situation and I'm already benefiting from the peace of mind.

Will stay strong, as I see absolutely see no way back to her... The only way is FORWARD

 

[soulforge]

Man the hotter the chick is the harder it is to forget about her.

This is why I am refraining from persuing other chicks, just for now.

When you spent 9 months with a 24 year old, slim blonde, Russian girl, most other girls you encounter don't even compare.

However I'm a firm believer, i will pull another baddie sometime soon, could take some time though. Till then might have to lower my standards.

In-fact I quite look forward to spending time with a girl, who doesn't become combative at the drop of the hat & has feminine energy.

 

[soulforge]

Man today is a tough one. Been thinking about all the good things about her, when she was sweet and loving, and cooked for me etc.

I'm trying my best to remind myself of all the dumb Shvt she did, and getting combative/argumentative over little things.

Man dumping 24 year old hot russian girls is absolutely not easy lol

 

[Foe]

Man today is a tough one. Been thinking about all the good things about her, when she was sweet and loving, and cooked for me etc.

I'm trying my best to remind myself of all the dumb Shvt she did, and getting combative/argumentative over little things.

Man dumping 24 year old hot russian girls is absolutely not easy lol

This is the living in the head rent free situation that everyone talks about. Give yourself a break man, it hasnt been that long and your right the hotter they are the more they imprint on you. Poeple who say otherwise have never tasted the ambrosia of pure attraction, frankly I would proabably give up some personality to get another taste of that sweetness.

That being said nothing is worth the disrespect. Any compromise here is a compromise of your own ego and selft esteem and nothing is worth sacrificing that for. As you said this is only as potent as the next hottie you get, I had one already and it took the sting out of the memory of my ex.

Its too soon for me too, Im a mess with these new chicks and its not fair to them but at the same time Im surviving so if you can do the right thing and work on yourself, then good for you, if you need to lighten the load and bang a hottie then I dont think theres a guy on this forum who would judge you.

Do what works for you but try and not look back if you can.

 

[soulforge]

This is the living in the head rent free situation that everyone talks about. Give yourself a break man, it hasnt been that long and your right the hotter they are the more they imprint on you. Poeple who say otherwise have never tasted the ambrosia of pure attraction, frankly I would proabably give up some personality to get another taste of that sweetness.

That being said nothing is worth the disrespect. Any compromise here is a compromise of your own ego and selft esteem and nothing is worth sacrificing that for. As you said this is only as potent as the next hottie you get, I had one already and it took the sting out of the memory of my ex.

Its too soon for me too, Im a mess with these new chicks and its not fair to them but at the same time Im surviving so if you can do the right thing and work on yourself, then good for you, if you need to lighten the load and bang a hottie then I dont think theres a guy on this forum who would judge you.

Do what works for you but try and not look back if you can.

Thanks for this reply my man. Glad you are doing better..

I have had a few days to think about things and Ween myself off the drug (her ex) and I feel better about things. I am beginning to clearly see that she was a wrong one!

Good woman bring peace to your life, not chaos time and time again.

In-fact I feel good that is it was me who dropped her, rather than me clinging on to a dysfunctional relationship for years till it eventually ended, by her dumping me.

I intent to ignore the crap out of her, if she ever contacts me. It's onwards and forward from here on.

 

[Foe]

well it happened, 3 months almost to the day I get a breadcrumb yesterday. "I want to come over and drop some stuff off and I have a birthday present for you"

This is after complete no contact after one fight where she blocked me and moved house. Im not surprised I knew this was coming but damn it if I cant help but feel like seeing her.

Yes she most likely monkey branched and he dumped her recently, yes she is not GF material. Not to mention she wants to come on the day I have booked a flight to Thailand, uncanny how they can time this **** honestly.

 

[soulforge]

well it happened, 3 months almost to the day I get a breadcrumb yesterday. "I want to come over and drop some stuff off and I have a birthday present for you"

This is after complete no contact after one fight where she blocked me and moved house. Im not surprised I knew this was coming but damn it if I cant help but feel like seeing her.

Yes she most likely monkey branched and he dumped her recently, yes she is not GF material. Not to mention she wants to come on the day I have booked a flight to Thailand, uncanny how they can time this **** honestly.

This is a cycle... Rinse and repeat.. It's Toxic and you need to break away from it mate.

Have been there.. No dignity in this at all.

 

[soulforge]

It's been several weeks of NC now.

It was me who walked away and instigated the break up, however it's not been easy.

She was very difficult, combative, argumentative and on a couple of occasions disrespectful.

I can't imagine how an LTR can thrive and last under those conditions. Ending it with her, hot as she is, was the only thing to do as a man, when she brings no peace to your life.

That being said, being the dumper is not easy, as there are many times where I question my decision, second guess my choice, or begin to think maybe I should have been more lenient with her.

It's a roller coaster of emotions.

 

[soulforge]

Week 4 NC

Today has been abit of a turning point for me. Gradually realising how toxic that situation was with the Russian girl and no matter how hot the girl is, no matter how effectionate she is, if her behaviour is chaotic, combative, then sticking around is absolutely not worth it.

Kinda starting to feel good about dumping her.

Seriously other than puzzy, if a chick is not bringing peace to your life, then what the hell is the point of keeping her around.

 

[Foe]

So she came around, looked hot as usual. She was in her best mode which is extremely sexy and charming. We had dinner, said our regrets etc. I took this as a form of closure. Things escalated into the bedroom, she didn't want to go all the way but we got close. I've been suffering sexual dysfunction since the breakup and what do you know I'm cured when it comes to her....

She tells me she's moved on with a guy and they broke up but she can't move out. Excuses excuses. She is now trying to monkey branch back to me, pretty sure she's still seeing this guy casually, I mean this girl can't be alone and I don't see her pulling guys back to a place where her main squeeze lives in.

So yeah it's all very predictable but I still want to bang her. You would too if you saw this girl she's a one in million.

 

[Divorced w 3]

So she came around, looked hot as usual. She was in her best mode which is extremely sexy and charming. We had dinner, said our regrets etc. I took this as a form of closure. Things escalated into the bedroom, she didn't want to go all the way but we got close. I've been suffering sexual dysfunction since the breakup and what do you know I'm cured when it comes to her....

She tells me she's moved on with a guy and they broke up but she can't move out. Excuses excuses. She is now trying to monkey branch back to me, pretty sure she's still seeing this guy casually, I mean this girl can't be alone and I don't see her pulling guys back to a place where her main squeeze lives in.

So yeah it's all very predictable but I still want to bang her. You would too if you saw this girl she's a one in million.

Sorry to hear that. Nothing anyone can say to you to get you through it. Two options: face it head on in solitude and come out the other side, or get a rebound.

 

[soulforge]

So she came around, looked hot as usual. She was in her best mode which is extremely sexy and charming. We had dinner, said our regrets etc. I took this as a form of closure. Things escalated into the bedroom, she didn't want to go all the way but we got close. I've been suffering sexual dysfunction since the breakup and what do you know I'm cured when it comes to her....

She tells me she's moved on with a guy and they broke up but she can't move out. Excuses excuses. She is now trying to monkey branch back to me, pretty sure she's still seeing this guy casually, I mean this girl can't be alone and I don't see her pulling guys back to a place where her main squeeze lives in.

So yeah it's all very predictable but I still want to bang her. You would too if you saw this girl she's a one in million.

Seriously man why did you let yourself back into this situation.

You absolutely should have completely cut this girl out the moment she fvcked up with you.

Bro ask yourself something. This girl has caused so many issues and broke up with you several times, yet you keep allowing her back into her life.

Do you think her respect for you increases or decreases everytime you allow her back in?

I promise you, it absolutely decreases, the more her respect for you goes down, the less desirable you become to her.

Then consider this.. Once a girl has left you and has been taking dik from other men, especially if they was pretty alpha dudes, my man she ain't the same girl anymore.

She has been imprinted. One they have taken other c0cks you ain't getting the same girl back.

My man I dumped a super hot 24 year old, and I ain't ever Looking back at her.

Your chasing breadcrumbs right now.

 

[soulforge]

Fvking struggling with this NC BS.

It's not easy when you're the dumper, as you begin second guessing your decision.

Also the ego wants her to make contact

But F her... End of the day who the hell wants to be with a quarelsum, agressive girlfriend.

 

[DreamAgain]

Fvking struggling with this NC BS.

It's not easy when you're the dumper, as you begin second guessing your decision.

Also the ego wants her to make contact

But F her... End of the day who the hell wants to be with a quarelsum, agressive girlfriend.

It is tough dude. I would recommend blocking the number if you haven't already. It helps with the finality of it, it helped me move on. It's not a beta move at all, I thought it was but you are basically showing you are ready to permanently walk away and move on to bigger and better things in life.

 

[soulforge]

It is tough dude. I would recommend blocking the number if you haven't already. It helps with the finality of it, it helped me move on. It's not a beta move at all, I thought it was but you are basically showing you are ready to permanently walk away and move on to bigger and better things in life.

How do you feel now?

I don't know bro. Blocking her feels like a beta move, but I can see how it could be beneficial too.

It's an ego thing. I told her to leave my house at 5am in the morning. I instigated the break up.

Was literally tired of her coming to my house for the weekend and being combative & argumentive. She was warned maybe 3x not to behave like this.

After a long hard week of work and gym, I just wanted a pleasant weekend with her, but instead she started running her mouth off again.

I wouldn't be giving much of a crap if she wasn't age 24 and hot lol

Essentially I dumped her, so it's unrealistic to expect her to reach out again (this soon)

best to view this as a bullet dodged and move the F on

 

[DreamAgain]

How do you feel now?

I don't know bro. Blocking her feels like a beta move, but I can see how it could be beneficial too.

It's an ego thing. I told her to leave my house at 5am in the morning. I instigated the break up.

Was literally tired of her coming to my house for the weekend and being combative & argumentive. She was warned maybe 3x not to behave like this.

After a long hard week of work and gym, I just wanted a pleasant weekend with her, but instead she started running her mouth off again.

I wouldn't be giving much of a crap if she wasn't age 24 and hot lol

Essentially I dumped her, so it's unrealistic to expect her to reach out again (this soon)

best to view this as a bullet dodged and move the F on

I feel much better it helped me move on. The problem is, if you ultimately did love someone, then I don't think that can ever really go away. So it was painful, which I'm not beta to admit, to have her text breadcrumbs from time to time just to see if she still had me on a leash like a puppy. Rather than barraging a load of insults and getting into a big fight, I've sort of taken a different route where she would really, really have to bring her ego down and beg for forgiveness by calling me from an unknown number, emailing me from an unknown email, basically risking her pride to establish some contact with me again.

But, once a relationship disintegrates so far, there really is no turning back, not even for a hookup or smash. Once the level of disrespect reaches irreparable levels, the best you can do is cut bait and not look back, no matter how hot she was.

 

[soulforge]

I feel much better it helped me move on. The problem is, if you ultimately did love someone, then I don't think that can ever really go away. So it was painful, which I'm not beta to admit, to have her text breadcrumbs from time to time just to see if she still had me on a leash like a puppy. Rather than barraging a load of insults and getting into a big fight, I've sort of taken a different route where she would really, really have to bring her ego down and beg for forgiveness by calling me from an unknown number, emailing me from an unknown email, basically risking her pride to establish some contact with me again.

But, once a relationship disintegrates so far, there really is no turning back, not even for a hookup or smash. Once the level of disrespect reaches irreparable levels, the best you can do is cut bait and not look back, no matter how hot she was.

Yeh I agree my friend. Just to clarify, did she break up with you?

And yeh we broke on bad terms. Both said a couple of hurtful things to eachother.

To be fair, my decision to get her to leave was not something I conjured up in that particular night.

Her behaviour was questionable throughout the relationship. Naturaly she is a combative agressive person.

I ignored this red flag at my peril.

The good thing is, since I detached myself from her, I see all the red flags clearly now, which tell me that the relationship would not had worked out or be healthy in the long run.

 

[DreamAgain]

Yeh I agree my friend. Just to clarify, did she break up with you?

And yeh we broke on bad terms. Both said a couple of hurtful things to eachother.

To be fair, my decision to get her to leave was not something I conjured up in that particular night.

Her behaviour was questionable throughout the relationship. Naturaly she is a combative agressive person.

I ignored this red flag at my peril.

The good thing is, since I detached myself from her, I see all the red flags clearly now, which tell me that the relationship would not had worked out or be healthy in the long run.

She officially broke up with me, but there was mutual interest fading I suppose, now I see with clarity after the passage of much time I was really only after her physically and she offered little else to my life besides that.

I guess a person to talk to from time to time but many of our conversations were one sided.

It would not work out you are correct, she has to comply and see you as the leader otherwise it will fail.

Does that mean she should never voice her opinion? No. I believe a healthy relationship has open dialogue about everything. But she should trust your instincts as a man and when you decide something, she should be on board most of the time.