I kept saying yeah, yeah as I was reading this, lol bcude.
I had to teach him what 'no contact' meant.
He decided on it and a day later, I agreed(but couldn't adhere to it as I've permanently recorded on sosuave)
He did the dumping but I trained him how to do it from all the countless disagreements we had.
We both had so much endearing pity for each other.
We were each other's best friends, spouses(we practiced with wife/husband titles for awhile)
At one point I brought up the idea of open relationship but although he considered it, he was right, I'd find it too challenging(him spinning plates and me going on alot of first-date-onlys)
We did ok when I tried extra hard to submit to him(think outside the bedroom stuff.... like agreeing quicker, asking him how I was doing more(was this ok, was that ok((whatever actions I was taking)), trying to anticipate his needs more(serving him etc),
not voicing when I was hurt or insulted anymore(just biting my tongue), pretending to believe it was ok with the style of business he was doing/his business ethics.)
To even imagine dating him again he'd have to be a completely broke open seed in a stage of pre-emergence. I was willing to break open my seed casing to try growing within the relationship.
If he has even broke the surface of the soil and has tentatively started growing, I swear I would support him. He'd have to prove in some way he was NOT inyerested in having/raising children(which is why I maintain a vasectomy is the perfect way)If he broke out on his own I would even financially support him...........(but Rollo Tomassi's Iron Rules says not to live with them unless you're marrying in 6 months) and neither one of us ultimately wants to marry. He was shocked when I told him that I decided never to marry. It was after listening to that sad youtube ear4men audio on the divorcing man that lost his sanity from the gynocentric pressure on all sides-the court, family members, ex's divorce "party", I think there was a custody battle. The silent high number of men's suicide makes me ill. If there was a way by my future divorcing actions that I would hurt a man, I'd rather not get married to begin with.
Anyways, who cares really. He has moved on.
I'm good with imagining the worst(for me) best for him.
The stuff I learn here on sosuave I'd just have to apply to him.
If he contacts me, he has to have high IL and pursue me or next.
He has to work to show me he has value because I am the prize, or next.
But see, I'm not looking for next and I'm a girl.
Sometimes I think I was a sport relationship to him. You know how guys here mentioned sport f@*king? I think he used me to prove he's not gay or to show he could get a girl have oneitis over him. To gain social proof and to practice on-much like a relationship in early high school is usually practice and not serious.
He mimiced me alot. Said 'I love you' after I said it. Alot.
Still, its incredible how much mental elasticity I get from this forum. How many problemsolving ideas I get(logic and clear, rational thinking is encouraged here) Reminds me of discussing things with my Dad or even with him, who I miss like he died or something.
There is nothing so constant as Time or Change in life.
Oh well. My loss, I'm dealing with it.