"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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popsickle

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I've been NC for a while now, around day 50 I think. I've been going out getting girls and all but somehow I feel like I still have some kind of bitterness on my chest that's like haunting me. Could it be because I never expressed what was on my mind? I just walked away after we broke up. I'm thinking of talking to her one last time to say what's on my mind and wish her good luck with her new guy and all. What do you think?
 

itcantgetworse

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popsickle said:
I've been NC for a while now, around day 50 I think. I've been going out getting girls and all but somehow I feel like I still have some kind of bitterness on my chest that's like haunting me. Could it be because I never expressed what was on my mind? I just walked away after we broke up. I'm thinking of talking to her one last time to say what's on my mind and wish her good luck with her new guy and all. What do you think?
wow 50 days that must put you in a good place ,heard about sending a seed tx letter email but i dunno im sure u will get guided on here well done 50 days :up:
 

Purefilth

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popsickle said:
I've been NC for a while now, around day 50 I think. I've been going out getting girls and all but somehow I feel like I still have some kind of bitterness on my chest that's like haunting me. Could it be because I never expressed what was on my mind? I just walked away after we broke up. I'm thinking of talking to her one last time to say what's on my mind and wish her good luck with her new guy and all. What do you think?
Walking away says enough man.
That's what I did in April, or was it June? I forget.

I know the feeling, cos I get it occasionally, you just wanna empty both barrels ah her.

In the end you'll come off bitter and resentful, but most of all you'll be showing her how greatly she affects you still.

Be a man and stay the path - well done so far.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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popsickle

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I'm not sure why I still have this bitterness though. When I didn't know what she was doing and I was getting girls, I was doing good. Then when I learned she got someone -the lovey dovey kind of thing, not casual sex like what I was having-, I got pissed. Is it solely ego?
 

itcantgetworse

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Woke up all positive today ,decided not to go the pub ,chilling in my room playing my music aint done that in ages so why the hell do i feel i should tx her bloody annoying :cuss:
 

bigdrov1x

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I have been stewing since I started NC. I stumbled on something on the net called "no more mr nice guy". Basically what it says is that these feelings we men have is because we do not really have our own **** together, so how can we expect someone to love or respect us when we do not respect ourselves. The only solution to these feelings is to constantly work on our own happiness and self improvement. Only then can you as a man get better. Check it out, it is some pretty compelling stuff.
 

itcantgetworse

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Day 1 done. been since 15:45 5th of january since my last tx gutted i broke it on the 14th day move on got some goals to achieve this week i need to find myself cause i def aint happy at the moment
 

sadonomspa

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So she contacted me the day after New Years to wish me a good one and a happy 2013.
I responded stupidly but I kept it cool and collected. She seemed much more attentive and responded to me right away as opposed to before she would write back hours days or not even.
Since then I also found out she has been commenting on my brother,best friend, and his wife's facebook.
I have written down all the red flags in this relationship and even have some nice girls after me but there is some sort of block.
Me and her have not spoken since but my friend thinks she is going to try some crap soon.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Purefilth

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Purefilth said:
Attention attention attention that's all don't respond, itcan'tgetworse
same again.
 

sadonomspa

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Why do they crave the attention? Do they need attention from everyone in their lives?
In my situation all her friends make her the center of the world.
And maybe in another case another sig other.
So why are they so attention starved? Is it not enough?
 

Plutoman

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sadonomspa said:
Why do they crave the attention? Do they need attention from everyone in their lives?
In my situation all her friends make her the center of the world.
And maybe in another case another sig other.
So why are they so attention starved? Is it not enough?
It's an addiction. Think of the rush you get from adrenaline - same type of concept. The attention is addicting for them.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sadonomspa

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itcangetworse,

I think it depends. Mine has daddy issues and when I act hard and strong she becomes a kitten with me. If she has head issues like mine does there might be a point in time where her contacts will escalate with you.

Whats been happening to me is she is facebook commenting my friends and some family. That was when I was ignoring her. But later that day we did speak.

So I guess she did win and now I am back to NC. I did not ness feel bad when speaking to her but made it seem I was really busy.

My issue is, if she does try to pull some crap and come back I am still sort of weak in the mind to reject it, or maybe not.

Depends on how emotionally scared she is.
 

itcantgetworse

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sadonomspa said:
Shes getting desperate. How long have you been NC? Dont respond.
i went 14 days and broke it friday night then i went round her house let me in had a chat i didnt ask her back just spoke both got pissed so i pressed some buttons got a dabble prob could have pushed for sex but i didnt want that ,it was like i can still get you to undress swapped a few txs next day jokey ones then a couple of useles ones and stopped tx when i realised what i had done
 

sadonomspa

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Damn dude so she broke up with you and sends all these mixed signals?

I am starting to relize you break up once or twice it will happen again and again. All these damn cycles and games.

Remember we need to be logical about this not emotional .
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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