The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

Robert28

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You learned a hard lesson.
A very hard lesson. I don’t know why I thought I could cheat against the rules. I was like a drug addict, she was my fix. The sad thing is if she came back today I would take her back. I don’t know why.
 
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EyeOnThePrize

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we fuucked multiple times a day for over a year after she moved in. i slowly neglected more and more of my personal life to simply fuuck her and help her improve her life. eventually i started showing signs of self doubt and becoming soft. rather than return the favor and show support she began to doubt me as well(looking back i see this is not her fault but entirely mine for expecting so much from her). she began to test, break promises, until i couldn't trust her. i became possessive, jealous, and resentful. i attempted to talk her into treating me better but i was already broken and weak, it only came off as needy and beta as fuuck because i didn't stand my ground like i used to. i neglected myself for so many months that i was pathetic. when i caught myself and started working on myself for a week i decided to end it with her, but dear god i should have just focused on myself and not cared, i wasn't ready for the games she'd pull and how it would affect me. it became a power struggle and i would eventually always cave and act like a cuck. i called her out on dates and validated her like crazy even though i was burning up inside seeing the marks left on her by others(i was still fuucking her). i began to play stupid womanly games of putting up pictures on social media just to get her jealous. she blocked me on everything for months. after 6 months she reached out and having read material(not enough obviously) i invited her over but still reverted to a cuck when she came over. i wasn't listening to my gut when it told me to just focus on healing, instead she came and i was hurt by her words(because i got way too attached), i caved and fuucked her like a cuck. it wasn't enjoyable at all. i'm feeling stronger and better now after a few months NC, but man i get urges to reach out sometimes. recently to prove to her that i'm not some punk biitch, that i can still fuuck her brains out and have the fun kinky sex with her that we used to.

but that's me bull****tting myself. i only want to reach out to fuuck her brains out because i care about what she thinks(only a little at this point). it's partially for the good sex but also partially caring. i won't reach out because i know that when i'm completely healed i will not give two shiits about what she thinks of me. i have sabotaged myself with LTR after LTR for over 12 years. noticing the stunted growth is horrifying, but just the wake up call i need. better now than never. i'm grateful for the lesson and believe it or not this is the best break up recovery i've had.
 

Firestar786

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This Saturday it would have been a month.
What a massive milestone.
She did try to call me on the weekend(unsure why) however I couldn’t answer as I was doing DIY.

I think the new reality has sunk in now, and I have accepted that for the time being there will be no new lady love as such.

An old flame called me yesterday which was interesting, as she is always entertaining.

Roll on 60 days where I suppose I won’t give a crap and presumably neither will my ex.
 

PowerQuest

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Screw this shiete challenge and it's all blue pilled as fuuck!

You should NEVER get back to your Ex or try to get her back. It's reason why it failed. She was never yours to begin with, it was just your time and now it some else guys time. Why the fark do you think she monkey branched you and cheated?

Wake the fark up and start spinning the plates!
That is what women always do even when they are with and say to you "I love you",(which is by the way where you always should add the words "Right now" after that sentence). They are always spinning the plates because women's hybergamy nature will not allow them to stop from doing that. They will always try to find a better deal, (meaning better guy than you from a woman's perspective nature) and dump the badder one. Women loves you for what you do to them, not for who you are because their love is only opportunistically. They can never love you the way you want them to love you.

The best way to do this is like you when when you fall of a bike or something that put you in a bad spot, like for example; you have an accident with your motorcycle, skydive (whatever) and it suddenly scares the living sheite out of you. So what do you do? You get right back on it as fast as you can and face your fears.

In others words; the best way to get over your ex is to go out right back to the game and find a hot chick (or more same night is even better) and screw her hard and if that isn't enough then do it again and again and before you know it you will not give a flying fark about that biaatch of an ex.

I done this many times and it always works, great remedy too if you get caught by the ONEITS flu and it always works flawlessly.

So that's it guys. Now get on with it!
 
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soulforge

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Well I am 1 week into NC

The last time she was over at mine, was last weekend, and we didn't talk much.. She seemed quieter than usual, not talking much at all.

I even said to her, if you come over to my house, don't you think you should convers a little, seems kind of rude not to.

Don't think she liked me calling her out on that..

Anyhow the next morning I dumped her.

Firstly because of her chitty attitude the night before.

But more importantly because of her background in nude dancing, maybe even porn and her pornographer freind still being in the picture.

Also she uses cocaine.

I just had to drop her, before I got in too deep.

I developed feelings for her.. But I knew if I carried on seeing her, it would go very wrong.

I just did not trust her one bit.

I don't understand why I feel like a junkie coming of a drug.

The sex was amazing and she was the hottest azz I had.
 

Firestar786

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6 weeks.

Two weeks away from the magical 8 weeks.

I have not thought about her for a significant period of time.

It obviously sad the relationship has completely broken down but I suppose somethings come to an end.

My life looks very bright in other regards, and I’m generally content with where I am right now.

I do not trust women at all and after this will probably go all MGTOW. Women just for sex.
 

Firestar786

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Interestingly I have hit the 2 month 60 day mark
This is with my ex calling etc
I feel quite cool.

I think there is actually something magical about the 60 day mark you just stop giving a feck and everything just resets !
 

dude99

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I was 31 days no contact until she reached out and convinced me to go out for a meal. Despite being a regular reader on this site: I said yes...
It transpires that she just wanted to LJBF me. What a **** move. Feeling like a right idiot.

Starting over... DAY 1.
At 31 days she was wondering if she made a mistake in breaking up with you. She wondered if she could still have you. She wondered if you were still on the hook. She had doubt. She was in the dark.

When they reach out after 30 or 60 days what they are doing is always for themselves. Never for you. She was looking for validation. She was looking for an ego boost. She was in the dark. You should have left her there. This is why we say ignore and delete. You do not give her anything. No answer. No text. No email. No social media. No phone call. Nothing.

Agreeing to go out gave her the ego boost her ego needed, gave her the validation she wanted, and it left you high and dry.

Next time she reaches out even if it is begging you, ignore her. Keep ignoring her. If it has been another 30 days or 60 days or 90 days and you fail to ignore her you make sure if you slip up and answer her that YOU ARE TOO BUSY and no matter what give her zero information. Ie:

Her -" long time no hear How are you doing?"
You - " been crazy busy."
Her - "we should catch up, you have time to go to dinner?"
You - " actually my schedule is jammed. "
Her - "you seeing anyone?"
>>This is right her what i mean by give her nothing<<
You - " actually that is a discussion for another time. Good to hear from you but i got to go."

Click.

Then go back to 100% ignore mode.
 
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dude99

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I’d been officially broken up since March 12 but I have a confession. I’ve been sneaking around seeing her since then off and on. I’d try to go no contact and she’d reach out. We’d hangout and have the best time and we’re getting along awesome, I thought maybe we’d get back together. Stupid I know but this girl was addictive! Never been like this over a broad before. It got to where we would argue a lot the last few weeks, stupid ****. It was like a pattern. We’d hangout and have fun, she’d start a fight a few days after. We’d smooth it over in a couple days and hangout again. Then she said “you know all we are ever going to be is friends right?”. That was a gut punch. I told her to never contact me again three days ago and I doubt she will even though she always did before. I had never used those words to her but I am sure it caught her off guard and she knows I’m serious.

Sucks cause I really am gonna miss the times I had with her when things were normal. I broke a lot of rules for her and I paid the price for it.
Then she said “you know all we are ever going to be is friends right?”.

What she was saying was "thanks for the validation. Putting you through all this emotional ups and downs has kept me entertained, but I'm waiting for a better option."

Hard next.
 

bcude

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okay i got a situation here where i'm confused.
I've been in complete NC 4 months and 10 days after she dumped me, a pretty insecure, low self esteem woman.
The other day she called me once out of the blue 2 days after her birthday, i didn't answer.
Now, i read everywhere around here ignoring is the right move to keep her guessing/spin that hamster and "punish" her disrespectful behavior of breaking up and at the same time make her work for me if she wants something substantial.
Although i've heard from two other "dating" sources ignoring her makes her feel belitteld and you look like a suffering beta which only makes her angry, and makes you look butthurt to not even be open to answer a phone call months later. And being hurt is exactly her view of me after she dumped me (for obvious reasons).
Her anger is the opposite of what we want if we want to increase the chances of potentially getting back, so what's the best course of action here if you want to showcase change? My gut tells me it was good not to answer immediately but i can call her up now days later on my terms and ask what she wants. I'm really unsure over this.
 

Mauser96

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I will respond in bold


okay i got a situation here where i'm confused.
I've been in complete NC 4 months and 10 days after she dumped me, a pretty insecure, low self esteem woman. NC is the right move if she dumped you
The other day she called me once out of the blue 2 days after her birthday, i didn't answer. She was expecting you to reach out on her birthday, and the fact you didn't has her scared you are completely done.
Now, i read everywhere around here ignoring is the right move to keep her guessing/spin that hamster and "punish" her disrespectful behavior of breaking up and at the same time make her work for me if she wants something substantial.

Disagree. If you NEVER want to see her again, go ahead and ignore her. If you DO want to see her again, go NC until SHE reaches out. SHE must be the one to reach out, then you answer. You must be indifferent, as if you TOTALLY don't care about the outcome and have/are moving on. Be light, playful, indifferent.
Although i've heard from two other "dating" sources ignoring her makes her feel belitteld and you look like a suffering beta which only makes her angry, and makes you look butthurt to not even be open to answer a phone call months later. And being hurt is exactly her view of me after she dumped me (for obvious reasons).Ignoring her is a good way to make her go away, if that is what you want. If you want to see her again, ignoring her will make her give up. If you NEVER want to see her again, ignore. If you DO want to see her again, go NC until SHE reaches out. SHE must be the one to reach out, then you answer. You must be indifferent, as if you TOTALLY don't care about the outcome and have/are moving on. Be light, playful, indifferent.
Her anger is the opposite of what we want if we want to increase the chances of potentially getting back, so what's the best course of action here if you want to showcase change? My gut tells me it was good not to answer immediately but i can call her up now days later on my terms and ask what she wants. I'm really unsure over this.

I would only call back if you want to see her again. But NEVER forget, SHE DUMPED YOU. NEVER relinquish the frame now.

You: I saw you called the other day, what's up?
(If she goes on to talk "nicely", then have a conversation. Keep it light, be indifferent, and keep it relatively short. You owe her nothing, she dumped YOU)

What may happen, is she gets snippy, like this:

Her: Why did it take you two days to get back to me?
You: You dumped me. You are lucky I even called you back

THAT has to be your mindset going in
 

bcude

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Thank you Mauser96, good insight.
I have to clarify some thoughts. She ignored my birthday 1 month after NC was initiated so i really don't think she expected me to reach out on hers. I'm pretty confident it was more a case of her realising she's getting 1 year older, panicing about no options in her life to see if i'm still there. The thing is though that one phone call is nothing, if she really wants to speak with me she can try again since people are busy. I think it's normal. My intention is not to keep ignoring and answer next time, my intention was just to let her sweat a little to show i'm not there when she needs it anymore. It's about being a challenge and work for my attention, which she apparently wants in some shape or form.
 

Mauser96

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Thank you Mauser96, good insight.
I have to clarify some thoughts. She ignored my birthday 1 month after NC was initiated so i really don't think she expected me to reach out on hers. I'm pretty confident it was more a case of her realising she's getting 1 year older, panicing about no options in her life to see if i'm still there. The thing is though that one phone call is nothing, if she really wants to speak with me she can try again since people are busy. I think it's normal. My intention is not to keep ignoring and answer next time, my intention was just to let her sweat a little to show i'm not there when she needs it anymore. It's about being a challenge and work for my attention, which she apparently wants in some shape or form.
Thanks for the clarification, I think you are handling it well.

Did she have the option to leave a message? If she did, and didn't leave a message. keep that in mind.

If you get talking to her, she WILL likely say "why didn't you call me back?"

And you say " You didn't leave a message asking me to"
 
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Mauser96

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Guys, check out two YouTube channels

The Love Chat
Dating Guy


Awesome no frills content based on human behavior
 

Mauser96

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Refer to this often. I have listened to it a dozen times, very very good

 

DreamAgain

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Thank you Mauser96, good insight.
I have to clarify some thoughts. She ignored my birthday 1 month after NC was initiated so i really don't think she expected me to reach out on hers. I'm pretty confident it was more a case of her realising she's getting 1 year older, panicing about no options in her life to see if i'm still there. The thing is though that one phone call is nothing, if she really wants to speak with me she can try again since people are busy. I think it's normal. My intention is not to keep ignoring and answer next time, my intention was just to let her sweat a little to show i'm not there when she needs it anymore. It's about being a challenge and work for my attention, which she apparently wants in some shape or form.
Dude ignore her, you need to cleanse this hoe from your life and go after new, better women.

She blew the one strike rule and now has to pay for it by never hearing from you again.

Take this as advice from someone who recovered from deep, deep oneitis and was on the verge of despair. I know what I'm talking about here, I have the scars in my mind and heart that are slowly recovering day by day. But that entails cutting off the poison completely, and you need to do the same.
 

soulforge

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So guys I am the one who dumped her.

Mostly because her past was too sleazy for my liking.

01.Nude Dancing
02.Nude Modelling
03.Involvment in pornography
04.Cocaine Use
05.Still in close contact with her ex pornographer

I think we both had come to conclusion that it wouldn't workout, because I didn't trust her one bit.. And she could sense it.

Anyhow i was pretty gutted for a good while after I dumped her.. Probably because i did like some parts of her personality, also because she was hot as faaaark.

I think because I did the dumping, the break up feels a little easier, than if she had dumped my azz.

She agreed with the breakup.. But hey I was expecting her to agree with it.

I still feel down about it occasionaly... However in the long run, I know I did the right thing, as damaged/broken woman like these, can completely ruin a man.

Keep soldiering on guys.. You will all make it.

Also... Stop caring about woman.. Giving a shyte about them is what lands you in this hell hole in the first place.
 
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