:crackup:blueguy said:emotionally
Uh, if a family is leaning on a 13-yo girl for "emotional support," something is horribly, HORRIBLY wrong in the state of Denmark...
Krist, I might as well start asking a 12-yo emo boy for advice on life!
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
:crackup:blueguy said:emotionally
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Good point. Perhaps emotional stability is best measured in levels rather than being black or white. The Emotionally damaged woman I referred to was pretty nasty under the nice, friendly 0utward appearance - incredible mood swings and violent. It's quite possible that the self-proclaimed virgin I referred to was actually more emotionally stable, even if she was controlling and pushy. A good Don Juan can put an end to a woman's behavior problems toward him, but I was not one at that time.Des, I'd question emotional stability. Is a controlling, verbally abusive person in 'control' even if they're religious?
Oh yeah. Emotional suppost counts for ALOT! Good thing you told me this.[/sarcasm]blueguy said:emotionally
I was being sarcastic because the whole notion of your parents relying on their 13year old kid for emotional support sounds stupid.blueguy said:I'm glad to hear that you guys were raised in households where your parents didn't give a crap about you. There needs to be more of this.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.