:crackup:blueguy said:emotionally
Uh, if a family is leaning on a 13-yo girl for "emotional support," something is horribly, HORRIBLY wrong in the state of Denmark...
Krist, I might as well start asking a 12-yo emo boy for advice on life!
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
:crackup:blueguy said:emotionally
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Good point. Perhaps emotional stability is best measured in levels rather than being black or white. The Emotionally damaged woman I referred to was pretty nasty under the nice, friendly 0utward appearance - incredible mood swings and violent. It's quite possible that the self-proclaimed virgin I referred to was actually more emotionally stable, even if she was controlling and pushy. A good Don Juan can put an end to a woman's behavior problems toward him, but I was not one at that time.Des, I'd question emotional stability. Is a controlling, verbally abusive person in 'control' even if they're religious?
Oh yeah. Emotional suppost counts for ALOT! Good thing you told me this.[/sarcasm]blueguy said:emotionally
I was being sarcastic because the whole notion of your parents relying on their 13year old kid for emotional support sounds stupid.blueguy said:I'm glad to hear that you guys were raised in households where your parents didn't give a crap about you. There needs to be more of this.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.