Now I Know How Military Husbands Feel

Pedrito0906

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It has nothing to do with the fact one is a military man or a businessman. It all boils down to a couple of things: 1. vetting the girl you're going to marry.
2. working on yourself to realize your true worth (which doesn't necessarily correlate with bank account). Once a man realizes his true worth as a human being and a man, he would view the suggestion of marrying a woman with more problems than a math textbook as a joke in poor taste. :rolleyes:
Most of military guys are chumps that's the stereotype, like feminist women are $hit, so yeah it does apply.

If he wasn't a chump he wouldn't have been in today's military in the first place, for what? To fight for those in power who don't care about him? To risk his life for other people's interests? Today's military ate for chumps, smart men who realize this get there and leave in 4 years.
 

Bokanovsky

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Hey OP, what has this to do with military husbands? I hope you don't take this the wrong way (ie kicking a man while he's down) but the cold hard truth is that this is the very predictable result of a very poor choice of a wife. It was mentioned in the thread you made after you married her that you're playing with fire.
I have forgotten about that thread. Yeah, this was totally predictable.
 

logicallefty

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So first off, the reason I titled this thread "military husbands" is because I was referring to being married, 800 miles away from the wife, having her misbehave, and not being there in person to handle it. I was not implying that military guys are the only ones who go through this sh|t.

In talking to my wife's father, I learned that she actually has a diagnosed mental disability that resulted from a very hard fall she took as a child. She has a lot of health issues that I did know about. But when it comes to mental health she has never disclosed this to me. She has specifically said "People have told me I was mental but I do not have any mental problems at all". I've seen her act like a typical woman before but according to her dad, her issues are much deeper than typical. He said "She had never been a happy person". She seemed happy with me a lot of the time, but from what he said, I really don't know if she was really happy or faking it. Another part of this is that my wife is not a heavy drinker. She loves her weed but rarely drinks any alcohol. Well, I heard from the wife of one of the band members that the night the sh|t went down she had drank multiple bottles of wine all herself. Bottom line is I think the wine unleashed the monster she had been hiding from me. When I told her we needed to talk about a brain injury she had from childhood, her response when I said "Brain injury" was "You talked to my dad, didn't you?". She knew at that point that the beans had been spilled. She tried to say "I told you about it" but I found some texts where she has specifically said "I do not have any diagnosed mental problems".

Lucky for me, we do not have any joint bank accounts. The only thing we share is there is a car in my name 100% but she pays for the insurance and drives it. My plan is to stay on her good side until I get back home, and then start the divorce process. I haven't said a single nasty thing to her over this, not a single cuss word. This way she can't accuse me of being the monster that she is.
 

BeExcellent

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Oh Jesus. Sorry you are dealing with this Lefty. Really disappointing.
 

Bible_Belt

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Lucky for me, we do not have any joint bank accounts
Good. Just fyi, anything of value that came into your life during the term of the marriage is half hers, or at least she can ask for it. Think hard about your list of these things, because at a minimum they need to be listed in the divorce agreement so that she waives all her possible financial claims toward you.

And don't buy any lottery tickets. If you win, she gets half. Good luck, man.
 

corsica

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Sorry to hear what you're going through.

I'm also in my forties so we're adults and know that the relationship is over when the woman does not respect you.

I would not argue and importantly, to not try to get back with her. At 48 you can find plenty of younger women to date and maybe start with a clean slate.

As for the divorce, talk to an attorney and get it done.
 

Ricky

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These are difficult circumstances no doubt. Rollo weighs in on women in their 40's a bit in Preventative medicine.

Her actions scream midlife crisis. You don't deserve this behavior. I've seen people recover from this and make it work out, that may be an option for you. I've had to deal with my own unpleasant version of this as well.

Either way feel free to reach out and post. We are rooting for you.
 

CollegeMan22

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@logicallefty are you doing alright? I hope you have gotten your legal bases covered and are ready to amp up the Machiavellian Dark Triad inside of you.
 

logicallefty

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@CollegeMan22 @Hacker Thanks fellas. divorce is all over with and I moved from my home state of Illinois down to Florida, which I was really planning to do anyway eventually, with her, even before the divorce. Financially I got to keep all my big assets. I had to pay her a little bit of cash, but nothing got done with my 401k or any of that. I have slept with 4 women since the divorce, one ex and three new. dating a Puerto Rican woman right now, and really having a good time with her. Thanks again for following up.
 

Rainman4707

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Not to $hit on you or anything cause we all are surviving in here, but remember this post from "Is it okay for females to have male friends?" She didn't need to go out on 1x1 to do $hit like that. This just goes to saying that a woman in a marriage or in a relationship going alone to bars is for the streets.
Totally agree. NO CHANCE i would be giving my GF permission to go to bars alone where there is a lot of males. And she is well AWARE that i would'nt put up with it!

When i have said things in past about not leaving my GF alone with males, i have been told by a lot of members that i'm far to controlling. pfft.

I'm sorry to hear what has happened though. I respect OP and believe he has the strength to come though this a better man.
 

Solomon

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@CollegeMan22 @Hacker Thanks fellas. divorce is all over with and I moved from my home state of Illinois down to Florida, which I was really planning to do anyway eventually, with her, even before the divorce. Financially I got to keep all my big assets. I had to pay her a little bit of cash, but nothing got done with my 401k or any of that. I have slept with 4 women since the divorce, one ex and three new. dating a Puerto Rican woman right now, and really having a good time with her. Thanks again for following up.
I'm glad to hear you deal well brothers, not to preach but I hope you're establishing boundaries with the Puerto Rican woman
A woman especially a woman 35+ has no business being at bars and clubs, she should be at home tending to the garden and reading the bible
 

logicallefty

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I'm glad to hear you deal well brothers, not to preach but I hope you're establishing boundaries with the Puerto Rican woman
A woman especially a woman 35+ has no business being at bars and clubs, she should be at home tending to the garden and reading the bible
Thank you Sir.. The Puerto Rican woman seems different thus far. But time will tell. She is going out for a "girls night out" sometime soon. But rather than tell me to go home and forget her for the night, she asked me if I would be the designated driver for her and her girlfriends and I said I would. So I am going out on my first "girls night out" ever. This tell me she isn't going to be looking for more c0ck if she is inviting me along.
 

RickTheToad

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@logicallefty, sorry dude that you had to go through this. Have fun right now, use protection and just take it slow. Never choose the b!tch, let the b!tch choose you. Need to be firm, but fair. If she even hints at walking, say that's a good idea, I've been thinking the same thing; then walk away. Hopefully, the division of assets wasn't too bad.
 

Rainman4707

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Thank you Sir.. The Puerto Rican woman seems different thus far. But time will tell. She is going out for a "girls night out" sometime soon. But rather than tell me to go home and forget her for the night, she asked me if I would be the designated driver for her and her girlfriends and I said I would. So I am going out on my first "girls night out" ever. This tell me she isn't going to be looking for more c0ck if she is inviting me along.
Could'nt think of anywhere worse i'd rather be than on a girls night outo_O
 

obelisk

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I am really sorry to hear this. You need an attorney. You also need to make copies of all personal documents and store them off site in case you lose access to the house.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Sorry bro...it definitely sucks.

It all depends on the woman sadly. And the only way you know is once you are in the situation. Sure there might be some things that in hindsight could have led you to speculate on it, but the truth is, you'll never know until the situation presents itself.

I know a guy who has been overseas a few times in Afghanistan and his wife is smoking hot and as soon as she was gone, some of his "friends" started coming at her hard...

She was appalled and told them to go shove it...never cheated on him and never even gave it a second thought.

Some people inherently "can't do that" and actually mean it. It's less and less but it's still out there.

It seems like she wants to go back to the carousel way of life and at the end of the day, it's better you find out now than after it's already happened a few times or more.
 

All_Kindz_Of_Gainz

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I know a guy who has been overseas a few times in Afghanistan and his wife is smoking hot and as soon as she was gone, some of his "friends" started coming at her hard...
One time I was the guy fvcking that woman when her hubby was deployed, many, many times. Should've known better, but you learn female nature in its true color when you're the guy she's cheating with. All the BS excuses she gave him, how blatantly she was lying to him, all the BS she was pulling up just to sneak and see me, women are ruthless when they wanna be man, not proud of any of that. Live and learn, I guess.
 
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