MrConfidence
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- Aug 22, 2006
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She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Docs said:Piece by piece disassemation to the level you're at.:
Meghan: Hi, Mike, so what did you do over your weekend?
Me: Nothing really, went to the football game.
Good start.
Meghan: Well, duh, you're in band.
Me: Yeah. It was a pretty sh*tty game. We lost.
What? Band? If I read that correctly, you totally ignored her comment??
Meghan: Yeah.
Me: So, what did you do over your weekend?
Meghan: Oh, you know I just chilled.
The question is good.
Me: Uh... chilled, can you elaborate?
WTF...don't ever say that again. I mean the word 'elaborate' AND 'Uh'. Even something like 'Really? That's it?', or to throw in some fun, 'So you sat on your freezer and got cold?'
Meghan: I just kind of hung out with friends, and stuff.
Shoulda kept it going, ie: "What'd you guys do", "What are their names", etc.
Not bad, but you stopped talking right there, that awkwardness sucks for anything. It's not bad, but there's room for improvement. Focus on keeping the conversation going for 2x the time this one did, and repeat.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Sometimes girls won't say things in the perfect manner so that you can come up with a response without effort.MrConfidence said:Dude, I did respond to the whole chilled thing. Maybe if she gave me something more interesting than chilled, I wouldn't need her to give more detail on the whole thing. And what am I suppose to say to the whole band comment? Uh, she already knows I'm in band, so what am I suppose to do, just confirm it? The band comment should obviously tell you that this isn't our first time talking.
ChrizZ said:Why don´t you just tell him to **** off? Tell him to grow up and get a life. Tell him what a loser he is when he´s making retarded jokes. The most important thing however is to act cool. Don´t get furious. Act like you´re smarter than him and talk to him in a calm voice and look directly in his eyes.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
If I remember most my friends werent planned, I didnt plan "Im going to get a friend" it just happens when you meet more and more ppl youll suddenly meet some cool guy, and usuallywhen you think someone is cool its cause theyre being friendly to you and open, do that yourself and ppl will start thinking that, or be passive (but get yourself around ppl) and they will come to you.MrConfidence said:Well, I have no real friends in High School, and I want to change that. Sure there are people who will occassionally say "Hey" to me, even start small talk sometimes, but no one that I would consider a "real" friend. What I do I mean by "real" friend? Someone who I could call up, and ask to hang out on the weekends if I'm bored, and also, someone who actually enjoys being around me, that I don't have to act a certain way around. The reason I don't have any friends, is because I'm afraid of approaching people. I'm afraid that if I try to make friends with someone, they won't like me. Also, my social skills are just plain bad. If I think if I improved on those things though, I would definitely have an easier time going up to people, and making friends, but the question is, how can I improve on these things? Thanks in advance. Basically, I want to go from the guy with no friends, to the guy with friends. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to become popular, I just want to make friends.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.