MrConfidence
Banned
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- Aug 22, 2006
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Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Docs said:Piece by piece disassemation to the level you're at.:
Meghan: Hi, Mike, so what did you do over your weekend?
Me: Nothing really, went to the football game.
Good start.
Meghan: Well, duh, you're in band.
Me: Yeah. It was a pretty sh*tty game. We lost.
What? Band? If I read that correctly, you totally ignored her comment??
Meghan: Yeah.
Me: So, what did you do over your weekend?
Meghan: Oh, you know I just chilled.
The question is good.
Me: Uh... chilled, can you elaborate?
WTF...don't ever say that again. I mean the word 'elaborate' AND 'Uh'. Even something like 'Really? That's it?', or to throw in some fun, 'So you sat on your freezer and got cold?'
Meghan: I just kind of hung out with friends, and stuff.
Shoulda kept it going, ie: "What'd you guys do", "What are their names", etc.
Not bad, but you stopped talking right there, that awkwardness sucks for anything. It's not bad, but there's room for improvement. Focus on keeping the conversation going for 2x the time this one did, and repeat.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Sometimes girls won't say things in the perfect manner so that you can come up with a response without effort.MrConfidence said:Dude, I did respond to the whole chilled thing. Maybe if she gave me something more interesting than chilled, I wouldn't need her to give more detail on the whole thing. And what am I suppose to say to the whole band comment? Uh, she already knows I'm in band, so what am I suppose to do, just confirm it? The band comment should obviously tell you that this isn't our first time talking.
ChrizZ said:Why don´t you just tell him to **** off? Tell him to grow up and get a life. Tell him what a loser he is when he´s making retarded jokes. The most important thing however is to act cool. Don´t get furious. Act like you´re smarter than him and talk to him in a calm voice and look directly in his eyes.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
If I remember most my friends werent planned, I didnt plan "Im going to get a friend" it just happens when you meet more and more ppl youll suddenly meet some cool guy, and usuallywhen you think someone is cool its cause theyre being friendly to you and open, do that yourself and ppl will start thinking that, or be passive (but get yourself around ppl) and they will come to you.MrConfidence said:Well, I have no real friends in High School, and I want to change that. Sure there are people who will occassionally say "Hey" to me, even start small talk sometimes, but no one that I would consider a "real" friend. What I do I mean by "real" friend? Someone who I could call up, and ask to hang out on the weekends if I'm bored, and also, someone who actually enjoys being around me, that I don't have to act a certain way around. The reason I don't have any friends, is because I'm afraid of approaching people. I'm afraid that if I try to make friends with someone, they won't like me. Also, my social skills are just plain bad. If I think if I improved on those things though, I would definitely have an easier time going up to people, and making friends, but the question is, how can I improve on these things? Thanks in advance. Basically, I want to go from the guy with no friends, to the guy with friends. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to become popular, I just want to make friends.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.