MrConfidence
Banned
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- Aug 22, 2006
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You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
Docs said:Piece by piece disassemation to the level you're at.:
Meghan: Hi, Mike, so what did you do over your weekend?
Me: Nothing really, went to the football game.
Good start.
Meghan: Well, duh, you're in band.
Me: Yeah. It was a pretty sh*tty game. We lost.
What? Band? If I read that correctly, you totally ignored her comment??
Meghan: Yeah.
Me: So, what did you do over your weekend?
Meghan: Oh, you know I just chilled.
The question is good.
Me: Uh... chilled, can you elaborate?
WTF...don't ever say that again. I mean the word 'elaborate' AND 'Uh'. Even something like 'Really? That's it?', or to throw in some fun, 'So you sat on your freezer and got cold?'
Meghan: I just kind of hung out with friends, and stuff.
Shoulda kept it going, ie: "What'd you guys do", "What are their names", etc.
Not bad, but you stopped talking right there, that awkwardness sucks for anything. It's not bad, but there's room for improvement. Focus on keeping the conversation going for 2x the time this one did, and repeat.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Sometimes girls won't say things in the perfect manner so that you can come up with a response without effort.MrConfidence said:Dude, I did respond to the whole chilled thing. Maybe if she gave me something more interesting than chilled, I wouldn't need her to give more detail on the whole thing. And what am I suppose to say to the whole band comment? Uh, she already knows I'm in band, so what am I suppose to do, just confirm it? The band comment should obviously tell you that this isn't our first time talking.
ChrizZ said:Why don´t you just tell him to **** off? Tell him to grow up and get a life. Tell him what a loser he is when he´s making retarded jokes. The most important thing however is to act cool. Don´t get furious. Act like you´re smarter than him and talk to him in a calm voice and look directly in his eyes.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
If I remember most my friends werent planned, I didnt plan "Im going to get a friend" it just happens when you meet more and more ppl youll suddenly meet some cool guy, and usuallywhen you think someone is cool its cause theyre being friendly to you and open, do that yourself and ppl will start thinking that, or be passive (but get yourself around ppl) and they will come to you.MrConfidence said:Well, I have no real friends in High School, and I want to change that. Sure there are people who will occassionally say "Hey" to me, even start small talk sometimes, but no one that I would consider a "real" friend. What I do I mean by "real" friend? Someone who I could call up, and ask to hang out on the weekends if I'm bored, and also, someone who actually enjoys being around me, that I don't have to act a certain way around. The reason I don't have any friends, is because I'm afraid of approaching people. I'm afraid that if I try to make friends with someone, they won't like me. Also, my social skills are just plain bad. If I think if I improved on those things though, I would definitely have an easier time going up to people, and making friends, but the question is, how can I improve on these things? Thanks in advance. Basically, I want to go from the guy with no friends, to the guy with friends. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to become popular, I just want to make friends.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.