MrConfidence
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- Aug 22, 2006
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Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Docs said:Piece by piece disassemation to the level you're at.:
Meghan: Hi, Mike, so what did you do over your weekend?
Me: Nothing really, went to the football game.
Good start.
Meghan: Well, duh, you're in band.
Me: Yeah. It was a pretty sh*tty game. We lost.
What? Band? If I read that correctly, you totally ignored her comment??
Meghan: Yeah.
Me: So, what did you do over your weekend?
Meghan: Oh, you know I just chilled.
The question is good.
Me: Uh... chilled, can you elaborate?
WTF...don't ever say that again. I mean the word 'elaborate' AND 'Uh'. Even something like 'Really? That's it?', or to throw in some fun, 'So you sat on your freezer and got cold?'
Meghan: I just kind of hung out with friends, and stuff.
Shoulda kept it going, ie: "What'd you guys do", "What are their names", etc.
Not bad, but you stopped talking right there, that awkwardness sucks for anything. It's not bad, but there's room for improvement. Focus on keeping the conversation going for 2x the time this one did, and repeat.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Sometimes girls won't say things in the perfect manner so that you can come up with a response without effort.MrConfidence said:Dude, I did respond to the whole chilled thing. Maybe if she gave me something more interesting than chilled, I wouldn't need her to give more detail on the whole thing. And what am I suppose to say to the whole band comment? Uh, she already knows I'm in band, so what am I suppose to do, just confirm it? The band comment should obviously tell you that this isn't our first time talking.
ChrizZ said:Why don´t you just tell him to **** off? Tell him to grow up and get a life. Tell him what a loser he is when he´s making retarded jokes. The most important thing however is to act cool. Don´t get furious. Act like you´re smarter than him and talk to him in a calm voice and look directly in his eyes.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
If I remember most my friends werent planned, I didnt plan "Im going to get a friend" it just happens when you meet more and more ppl youll suddenly meet some cool guy, and usuallywhen you think someone is cool its cause theyre being friendly to you and open, do that yourself and ppl will start thinking that, or be passive (but get yourself around ppl) and they will come to you.MrConfidence said:Well, I have no real friends in High School, and I want to change that. Sure there are people who will occassionally say "Hey" to me, even start small talk sometimes, but no one that I would consider a "real" friend. What I do I mean by "real" friend? Someone who I could call up, and ask to hang out on the weekends if I'm bored, and also, someone who actually enjoys being around me, that I don't have to act a certain way around. The reason I don't have any friends, is because I'm afraid of approaching people. I'm afraid that if I try to make friends with someone, they won't like me. Also, my social skills are just plain bad. If I think if I improved on those things though, I would definitely have an easier time going up to people, and making friends, but the question is, how can I improve on these things? Thanks in advance. Basically, I want to go from the guy with no friends, to the guy with friends. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to become popular, I just want to make friends.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.