Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I thought Ariana Grande was a new item on the Taco Bell menu…Seems she love bombs early on getting engaged in 2 weeks to Pete Davidson and then dumps him when it becomes too intense or too much.
And then the process repeats...
Nah, it's a coffee drink at Starbucks.I thought Ariana Grande was a new item on the Taco Bell menu…
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Well, she banged Pete Davidson, how hard could it be?I used to really want to bang Ariana Grande, now I only kinda want to![]()
Do you often deflect a question to another topic when you can’t make a direct answer?https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groupthink
Snip:
"Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome".
I do believe that conformity has taken precedance over rationality. But there you are lol
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I've encountered many women who had actual medical diagnoses of borderline personality disorder, and I am telling you they were some seriously messed up people. That probably sounds like I'm disagreeing with you, but I'm not. I think many guys on forums like this are a little too quick to hand out the BPD label. The ones I have known any normal guy would avoid dating at all costs.Know how many times i've heard this term in real life? Zero. I kid you not. Which i actually find to be an accurate reflection of it's relevance.
No, but to be fair I am very stingy about giving out 9s. And I straight up don't believe in 10s. Even the ranking of 8 I give out very sparingly. I view most of the attractive female population under the umbrella of 6s and 7s. It may not be totally realistic, but probably more healthy this way.Were any of them 9/10s?
Diagnoses aside, this is an interesting phenomenon, and I've met women like this. The "Everyone who meets them falls in love with them" type. To my eyes, they usually end up being AWs. It would be hard to have meaningful relationships though, if every person from the opposite sex fell in love you. This would almost certainly end up with you devaluing their feelings as being meaningless, since they come so cheaply for you.We date high functioning ones and in my case not even really BPD, closer to NPD/HPD. Not a single tattoo among all of them when I dated them. Everyone who meets them falls in love with them, they're extremely cool people except for how they behave in romantic relationship settings (that is the trigger).
Lol, great.the reason why Everyone likes them is because they're extremely good at reading people using cold empathy and giving you and them exactly what is wanted. the low IQ ones yes will become very basic attention *****s and you'll spot a mile away (have a date with one tomorrow, fake boobs and everything).
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Was her real self visible before they married/had kids?Let me take a moment to tell you about my Cousin.
He is late 20's and Married with 2 kids. His Wife is diagnosed with BPD and has had several stints in psychiatric hospital. The Kids both have emotional and developmental issues. She controls everything in his life. He isn't allowed to see his family at Xmas. They both attended a family funeral recently and she wouldn't let him out of her sight. She openly cheats on him. She will tell him "I am off out tonight to have sex with so and so. Stay here and look after the kids" then she returns in the Morning.
My Cousin was a withdrawn Kid. His world was Sonic the Hedgehog. He is trapped and lives day to day on his anti depressants while his Wife gets steam rolled by any **** she can have. He is a defeated Man and will probably end up taking his own life.
Don't be my Cousin.
I don't know. My sister was in touch with him through texts etc but his wife banned him from speaking with her. That was years ago and I've never personaly met his Wife. Just hear these things from his Mom and other other family members.Was her real self visible before they married/had kids?
It just feels implausible that a healthy person would find themselves in a situation like this. So I assume he's codependent.I don't know. My sister was in touch with him through texts etc but his wife banned him from speaking with her. That was years ago and I've never personaly met his Wife. Just hear these things from his Mom and other other family members.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.