You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I thought Ariana Grande was a new item on the Taco Bell menu…Seems she love bombs early on getting engaged in 2 weeks to Pete Davidson and then dumps him when it becomes too intense or too much.
And then the process repeats...
Nah, it's a coffee drink at Starbucks.I thought Ariana Grande was a new item on the Taco Bell menu…
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Well, she banged Pete Davidson, how hard could it be?I used to really want to bang Ariana Grande, now I only kinda want to![]()
Do you often deflect a question to another topic when you can’t make a direct answer?https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groupthink
Snip:
"Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome".
I do believe that conformity has taken precedance over rationality. But there you are lol
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I've encountered many women who had actual medical diagnoses of borderline personality disorder, and I am telling you they were some seriously messed up people. That probably sounds like I'm disagreeing with you, but I'm not. I think many guys on forums like this are a little too quick to hand out the BPD label. The ones I have known any normal guy would avoid dating at all costs.Know how many times i've heard this term in real life? Zero. I kid you not. Which i actually find to be an accurate reflection of it's relevance.
No, but to be fair I am very stingy about giving out 9s. And I straight up don't believe in 10s. Even the ranking of 8 I give out very sparingly. I view most of the attractive female population under the umbrella of 6s and 7s. It may not be totally realistic, but probably more healthy this way.Were any of them 9/10s?
Diagnoses aside, this is an interesting phenomenon, and I've met women like this. The "Everyone who meets them falls in love with them" type. To my eyes, they usually end up being AWs. It would be hard to have meaningful relationships though, if every person from the opposite sex fell in love you. This would almost certainly end up with you devaluing their feelings as being meaningless, since they come so cheaply for you.We date high functioning ones and in my case not even really BPD, closer to NPD/HPD. Not a single tattoo among all of them when I dated them. Everyone who meets them falls in love with them, they're extremely cool people except for how they behave in romantic relationship settings (that is the trigger).
Lol, great.the reason why Everyone likes them is because they're extremely good at reading people using cold empathy and giving you and them exactly what is wanted. the low IQ ones yes will become very basic attention *****s and you'll spot a mile away (have a date with one tomorrow, fake boobs and everything).
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Was her real self visible before they married/had kids?Let me take a moment to tell you about my Cousin.
He is late 20's and Married with 2 kids. His Wife is diagnosed with BPD and has had several stints in psychiatric hospital. The Kids both have emotional and developmental issues. She controls everything in his life. He isn't allowed to see his family at Xmas. They both attended a family funeral recently and she wouldn't let him out of her sight. She openly cheats on him. She will tell him "I am off out tonight to have sex with so and so. Stay here and look after the kids" then she returns in the Morning.
My Cousin was a withdrawn Kid. His world was Sonic the Hedgehog. He is trapped and lives day to day on his anti depressants while his Wife gets steam rolled by any **** she can have. He is a defeated Man and will probably end up taking his own life.
Don't be my Cousin.
I don't know. My sister was in touch with him through texts etc but his wife banned him from speaking with her. That was years ago and I've never personaly met his Wife. Just hear these things from his Mom and other other family members.Was her real self visible before they married/had kids?
It just feels implausible that a healthy person would find themselves in a situation like this. So I assume he's codependent.I don't know. My sister was in touch with him through texts etc but his wife banned him from speaking with her. That was years ago and I've never personaly met his Wife. Just hear these things from his Mom and other other family members.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.