"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I thought Ariana Grande was a new item on the Taco Bell menu…
zekko
Master Don Juan
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Nah, it's a coffee drink at Starbucks.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
MillionBillionaire
Master Don Juan
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
Then her ex killed himself via drug overdose. (Yes it's that rapper guy)
So when ariana finds out about all this she dumps her fiance.
Tbh I think he dodged a bullet. If your girl is mad at you for making thirsty guys leave her alone, that says a lot of bad things
zekko
Master Don Juan
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Well, she banged Pete Davidson, how hard could it be?I used to really want to bang Ariana Grande, now I only kinda want to
Do you often deflect a question to another topic when you can’t make a direct answer?
i.e., “Have you ever seriously dated a woman with a traumatic background?”
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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I've encountered many women who had actual medical diagnoses of borderline personality disorder, and I am telling you they were some seriously messed up people. That probably sounds like I'm disagreeing with you, but I'm not. I think many guys on forums like this are a little too quick to hand out the BPD label. The ones I have known any normal guy would avoid dating at all costs.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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No, but to be fair I am very stingy about giving out 9s. And I straight up don't believe in 10s. Even the ranking of 8 I give out very sparingly. I view most of the attractive female population under the umbrella of 6s and 7s. It may not be totally realistic, but probably more healthy this way.
Anyway, my point was that in those women that I knew, it was clearly apparent that there was something wrong with these girls. Maybe there are lighter cases that have escaped diagnosis. There probably are. But when I hear someone say Borderline Personality Disorder, those are the women I associate it with, and they were clearly disabled on some level.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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Diagnoses aside, this is an interesting phenomenon, and I've met women like this. The "Everyone who meets them falls in love with them" type. To my eyes, they usually end up being AWs. It would be hard to have meaningful relationships though, if every person from the opposite sex fell in love you. This would almost certainly end up with you devaluing their feelings as being meaningless, since they come so cheaply for you.
zekko
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Lol, great.
I used to watch a few TV shows that had a female lead, and I swear every guy that met her fell in love with her. I wish I could remember what those shows were. The movie There's Something About Mary is like this too. It's an interesting phenomenon to me.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
I'd imagine that most women we call BPD are just crazy unstable azzholes, approaching the pathology line but not quite there yet.
Real mental illness completely tanks your life
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Serenity
Moderator
He is late 20's and Married with 2 kids. His Wife is diagnosed with BPD and has had several stints in psychiatric hospital. The Kids both have emotional and developmental issues. She controls everything in his life. He isn't allowed to see his family at Xmas. They both attended a family funeral recently and she wouldn't let him out of her sight. She openly cheats on him. She will tell him "I am off out tonight to have sex with so and so. Stay here and look after the kids" then she returns in the Morning.
My Cousin was a withdrawn Kid. His world was Sonic the Hedgehog. He is trapped and lives day to day on his anti depressants while his Wife gets steam rolled by any **** she can have. He is a defeated Man and will probably end up taking his own life.
Don't be my Cousin.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
Was her real self visible before they married/had kids?
I don't know. My sister was in touch with him through texts etc but his wife banned him from speaking with her. That was years ago and I've never personaly met his Wife. Just hear these things from his Mom and other other family members.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
It just feels implausible that a healthy person would find themselves in a situation like this. So I assume he's codependent.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.