I think what
@BeExcellent is saying is that you are struggling to get past a certain point where your actual personality can come thru.
Now you may say "well I shouldn't have to put on an act", but you are going to places that are a giant show and the act is all part and parcel of getting results. This coming from a long time club DJ that used to love watching social interactions unfold night after night from my perch high above.
Very few people are who they claim to be in those places when you meet. They are whatever version of themselves they want to show to you at that time.
That is, until you have them out of that environment regularly and they are able to get to know you.
But until that point, if you want better results, your focus should be on doing what you need to do so that you are no longer interacting with them in that environment regularly, so if that means you have to be a little extra "spicy" up front, and shut down their silliness, then maybe you need to experiment with that a little more.
Or else choose an environment where that is not required. But you can't have it both ways.